I'm totally stumped on what to do about this one. Here's the setup - two weeks ago, my friends and I spent a while talking to the cute boy behind the counter at the local ice cream place. Someone else came in, we had to leave, but he reached across the counter to give me his card with his work number. I called a few days later, but felt super awkward calling for him at work, so just left him my number. Never got a call back. Fine, no big deal. Yesterday, I go in to get ice cream (so shoot me!) and he was there, we talked for a few minutes, I didn't bring up the fact that he never called but talked about some of the same things so he knows we had met before. Same deal, had to leave quickly, nothing happened. So last night, just out of curiosity, as I'm completely overloaded on classes and haven't met a straight boy in months, I posted a CL personal, knowing that I probably wouldn't end up finding anyone worth responding to. Lo and behold, who do I get a message from? Its one of those where you don't see the person's email address until they write back to you, so he still doesn't know who I am. He says he just got out of a 3 year relationship. Here's my dilemma, now. Do I write back and let him know we know each other? Do I use this as ammo, knowing that his IS single and at least slightly looking? I'm pretty sure he was interested when he gave me his number originally, but then never responded, so... what? What do I do? HEEEEEEELP!!!

Well, if I were in your situation, I would pretend I didn't know who he was, and then when I got to know him better and charmed the pants half way off him , I would say, "OMG! I think we already know each other! How ironic!" But that's me. I like the coy approach. I think guys like that. And I would flirtatiously tease him about not returning my call. I think they like that too. Good luck! Seems like a fun situation to be in!!

and having just said that, more than likely, you are too young to know who or what she was. Let's just say: I have had quite a bit of practice in this area since I seem to fall in love quite easily.

I think, he is gun-shy after having ended a 3 year relationship. I would email him back and keep it LIGHT. Mention that you were the one who spoke with him at his place of work and just had to say HI, how are you doing, nice to have met you, blah, blah....again, keep it light and friendly, not overbearing or in "hot in pursuit" like a car chase on tv.

Then, this is the hard part, after you show him some kind of friendly interest, let him sit with that for awhile and see how he responds. If he says HI back and you get to talking he might actually feel more comfortable chatting online.

We women are such wonderful creatures of getting what we want. If you play this right, and "love is a game", he might respond the way you would like and you could be on the start of a new relationship. However, the first few meetings are to be handled very light-handed. Once, he shows more of an active interest, he will respond to more warmth. Think of a candle's heat vs a blow torch. It means putting the brakes on at first but as he shows more interest than you can ease up and allow your natural warmth to come through.

How do I know? Well, let's say, I have never been a bridesmaid, always a bride!

Interesting. To harpo, we've actually met enough and the description is such that there's no way to pretend I don't know that I know him. Unfortunately. That would certainly be easier. Honestly, I guess my real worry is just pure pride - what if he isn't interested and thats why he didn't call? It would pretty much have to be physical because I know I make him laugh and he responded to my damn personal ad. And that's a scary prospect, even though I know damn well I'm pretty darn gorgeous. Hmph.

Ok, here goes, I responded, kept it super light and made it a little bit of a guessing game, told him he had met me and included a picture with a few friends. We'll see what happens...

Hope it works out for you
I think it was good to let him know who you are -- he was obviously interested or he wouldn't have given you his number -- it's not like he had to do that. And, now if he responds, you will know how he feels and you can move past the "he didn't call me back".

My husband was so shy when we met (me too!!) that the friend that introduced us actually set up the details of our first few dates to get us going!! I'm sure he is more comfortable online than in person -- so keep up the chats!!

If he gave you his card, he was interested. He may have chickened out afterward, but the original interest was there. Treat it as if it's no big deal to you, as if guys give you their numbers every day and his was just one of so many that you barely noticed that he didn't call you back.

What if he WAS interested, and his machine messed up and he never got the message? Or...his roommate took the messages off the machine and forgot to give them to him? Or....

Don't assume he just didn't call you back because he wasn't interested. Sometimes we jump to the worst conclusions first and kick ourselves later when we find out it was something totally innocent.