Hi everyone,

My fiance and I have been togeather close to 10 years and we were just seperated for the first time ever. He is gone away veryy far away for a few months for a job to make some money,then hes comming home.

Heres the issue, we have never been seperated since we been togeather, i work in our house,and im just falling apart. Usually its the oppisite but im that depressed I dont feel like eating at all, like nothing, iv eaten one small meal today and yesterday i had 2 or 3 bites of food and a few baby carrots i want to keep going i actually want to really really bad to loose at least a min of 20lbs or more while hes gone just so he wont even reconize me when he gets home and he would be sooo proud of me for doing it, but i jjust can eat, i dont know what to do, should i just give up, or is there some sort of plan where you can consume way less food or something cus i just cant eat,i dont even wanna leave my house, and i dont know what to do any suggustions?

Cheerleader, You need to take better care of yourself than that. Your fiance wants you to be healthy and happy even if he is not there for a time! Really. Find an eating plan and make yourself eat at least 1200 a day one way or another. Pull your self together for him! He will be back, I'm sure. I know it is hard and you are depressed, but try to focus on the postives and on what you can do to improve things for him... If you really loved him you would take care of the precious person he thinks you are. I would try exercising as a way to pick up your mood (really it does work) and it gives you something to DO while he is gone. I don't know what exercise would be most appropriate for you, but it will shape you up, likely up your mood, and help stimulate your appetite back. Most likely you will have a sudden return of the need to eat, since a lack of appetite never lasts long for me (perhaps you are more easily discouraged from eating than I am though).

Anyway, please take good care of yourself. You are worth it. You have a period of precious time where you can totally focus on yourself and your weight loss, having time to fit in a lot of exercise and to cook whatever low fat meals that you like without anyone groaning at you about chicken again!
Really this is an opportunity to form better habits and not have them sidetracked by a significant other. If you think of it as an opportunity to focus on yourself and be selfish for awhile, at least you can feel a little more positive about him being gone. I know you will miss him, but time passes quickly and you have a great opportunity right in front of you.

Cheerleader,

I'm guessing that your DF would not have taken this job unless it was a great financial opportunity for your family. He is sacrificing his time with you too.

I think you have the right idea in working towards a goal that will just knock his socks off. While he is off improving the family's financial health, you are here improving it's physical health...by learning new ways to cook and prepare foods.

I know it's tough, but stick around here. There is alot of support to be found on these boards. We'll help you get through it.

BIG HUG!!!!

I know it's hard for you right now. I'm thinking that there's going to be an adjustment period over the next week or two for you. But try to keep yourself busy and try to keep motivated to stay on plan. Think of how good it will feel to lose the weight while he is gone.

I found when I was alone and depressed exercise really helped me get through. i pretty much physically exhausted myself after work each day. And as a fun side effect I got into much better shape.

If you're really having a hard time eating what about choosing some of the higher end calorie foods on the list instead, I don't mean cake or junk I just mean that some breads have more calories than others, so instead of a starch being 80 calories, go up to 100 calories. The lady at the LAWL told me a starch is between 80 - 100. So if you're not eating everything, maybe try to go to the higher end of calorie range for each food type.

Come here for support, we're all behind you.

Thanks everyone this deff helped me alot and gave me the motivation, it just seems soo hard for me on my own now and no one to tell me do it it,i give up easily. But im determined to do this. Im going to get back into things slowly cus im still blahh right now, but i bought some exercise videos to do and im going to do them every day, and am doing 100 sit ups a day so i hope it helps and i really want to do this and im going to do it with eveythign i have. Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. Im going to get some courage and go to my lawl center next tuesday, i know its far but thats the only chance i get, then it will give me time to get back into the swing of things.!!!

Take care Cheerleader. If you find you need an ear feel free to PM me.
I've been there before and know how it is. Also, with me I was an emotional eater so that didn't help at all.

Stay focused and just remember your goal.
You can do it!!!

Cheerleader... My daughter's birth day is Feb 6th and she used to be a cheerleader too (I just looked at your profile). Just keep moving so that the time passes and try to be as positive as you can be. It is great to work on your own health and fitness while he is away. I hope you are feeling a little better. You and Jillian should form a club, as her DH is away with the military and can't even call her very often. I thought of Jillian when I read your post.

Cheerleader...

Listen to the ladies here and keep reading these posts when you get that sinking feeling..

The fact that you're getting physical is great, but remember... In order to keep losing weight while exercising, you MUST MUST MUST, eat your proper portions.. Also, after a vigorous workout, follow it with some lean protein and healthy carbs like an orange.. I would stay away from eating a protein bar in favor of a piece of chicken or fish..

Just my 2 cents!