Just to cheer up those of us with a Blue Monday.
Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week count, St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and God tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" he asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why?" God asks.
"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Maine."
That's hilarious, Ruth! 