Hello all. I am new to the forum and boy is there a lot of information to take in. I am getting Lapband surgery.... I have been researching it for over a year and finally decided it was time to do something. I have lost 100 pounds 2 times and 50 and fewer pounds too many times to mention in my life. Why can't I just keep it off? I have been heavy all of my adult life even after loosing weight.

Today I took a CPR course and couldn't even get down on the ground to do CPR on the dummy. I sure hope no one needs my help. I was in a class with many normal sized people and they just did not understand my delimah of not being able to sit on my knees or cross leged on the floor or having to crawl myself to a chair to get up. It was humiliating!

My insurance does not cover this procedure, so I am having to pay for it myself. I will be going to Mexico to Dr. Jose Rodriguez. I have spent hours and days and weeks and months researching this and feel very confident in my decission. I am, however, having the problems with not being able to tell my mom. She also has been heavy her whole adult life. She thinks we should just be able to go on a diet and lose the weight. I agree with that, but I also know that I don't want to yo-yo my way into my 50's and 60's the way I have my 40's. I need help.

I don't feel that I am giving up. I want to work harder than ever. I have been exercising every day for the past almost 2 years, I have been watching what I eat more closely, and I have lost 26 pounds over the past year. I really feel I just need a tool to help me on my journey.

If anyone knows a way to help out with the mom issue, that would be super. My mom and I are very close. She is a bit on the gossipy side and I do want to keep this on the DL. ( I got a tattoo once and told her I wasn't telling anyone and before I knew it the whole town knew. So that is an issue for me too.)this has been a personal decission between me and my DH and I don't want it out for public knowledge.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

BB

Hi BB and

Wowee...thats a tough one concerning your Mom. I think if my Mom were a blabber mouth I wouldn't want to tell her....but then again, if you didn't tell her it could be worse...like you said you are close with her.

Maybe you could bring up the tattoo incident and tell her you want to tell her something else but your afraid to b/c she told everyone and their grandmother. When I had my surgery I told my DH not to tell a soul because if the Lap-band did not work, I didn't want to be humiliated in front of people...and I'm glad I kept it quiet....b/c as you know..its a tool not a cure.

Gee hon, I wish I could help..thats really a personal call on your part.

Good for you for researching and doing your home work....when is your surgery? Do you have some one in the states that will do your after care/ fills?

.

Hello and thanks for your reply. My surgery is not until May 25th, I am still saving the last bit of money.

I have researched docs close to me and I found one not to far considering I live in a rural area. I am planning to go to his seminar in March or April to meet him in person. My concern is that he is already booked full up clear until April. I may need to make my appointment now for my fill I will need in July and that just seem like forever from now. And then what if I need another one in a month or so after that? I guess I will cross that bridge after being banded and getting fill numero uno.

Welcome to the group. There are a lot of fantastic and very informative people here. I do not know what to tell you about your mom. Like you said, its a decision between you and your DH. Keep us posted and welcoe to the group.

wow! lots of stuff going on here !!!! the biggest challenge you face here is NOT your mom - it's making sure you can get the care you need when you get home from mexico. quite a few surgeons don't want to take on a patient who went elsewhere for surgery.

now your mom. i'm seeing that you're in your 40s [did i read that right?]. in that case, i'd give some thought to not telling your mom. yeah, i know that sounds harsh, but bottom line, you're doing this for YOU, and she truly should respect your decision.

trust me, we absolutely understand your struggle, and the issues. your mom, however, has made a different decision for herself. and you're making this one. and if she's going to give you grief, well, let's just say that at this point in your life, she can speak up and give you an opinion, but you should not let her affect your choice here..

Thanks guys! I needed this. I have found a localish doctor for aftercare. He has a great reputation and works with Mexico patients. I really have put a TON of time and research into this. I just feel like I am being decietful when it comes to my family. I just have to get over that!

BB

I too wish i didnt tell anyone. it has only been since 012808 since i got my surgery (lap band) but i feel so much pressure to lose massive amounts of weight. i am dreaming about it at night and waking up with headaches. i get my first fill on 022608 so hopefully after that it will be easier to manage. i have lost 24 pounds in two weeks, (last monday can only weigh at the hospital) but i feel like everyone that sees me is judging my size or asking how much have you lost

I'm so sorry Your weight loss so far is WONDERFUL with out a fill. Remember the band does not work without the proper restriction / fills....so try not to be so hard on yourself. Also....remember, you may need a few fills before it starts to work.....it takes time....so HANG IN THERE and ignore the ninnies who are annoying you.




.

AAAHHH, yes...tell dear ol' mom. I do remember this well. I did not tell my mom until after my six month diet and approval from the insurace company. My mom is an odd sort. I can't really explain her. She's self centered and if something isn't about her or for her then she really just really gives it little thought! Sad...but very true. When I told her about my WLS she just sort of brushed it off with an "oh, if that's what you want" and then went onto talk about something else. She didn't even tell my brother. I told him over the phone and I think he was more excited about it then she was.

I do wish you luck with this one. One thing that I always keep in mind....I'm an adult....I don't have to answer to her anymore and we don't have to agree...... If you really think this will be the "tatoo" revisited then I would not tell her....somethings are best kept to ourselves

thanks leenie! i dont crave or anything, i am full all of the time. i think my mind just wants it. even if i havent eaten, i am full of drink.

you know the results are slower with lapbands, right? I was told about 8-10 pounds a month is good. That's about 2 lbs a week-the recommended healthy weight loss. I think it's good to lose it slowly because your skin will have more time to adjust it's size and shape to you new dimensions-up to a point. At first I was a little dismayed at that, but that rate is 100-120 lbs a year! I've never done that on my own and when I did lose, it was really hard to keep it off. I was also told that some folks can lose 100 percent of their extra weight in 5 years-a long time, but, if I lost weight really quick my belly would be down to my knees!

don't get down, sweetie! you're doing great and it takes a while to get the right fill. In the meantime you're eating healthy things and feeling better, right. That's worth something right there.

thank you merryterry. i know that it will be along process. i dont want me belly touching my knees either. i am doing this for my girls and myself so i dont are how long it takes. we are going to disney world in five years. as long as i can fit in some rides then, i will be great.

FlourGirl - My mom is a hmmm. how could I put this.... she's a pushy, intrusive, bossy, kind of person, along with a know-it-all blabbermouth and self centered. Even with these personality traits, I love her and alway try to please her. She expects me every morning before work for breakfast and coffee. If I go on vacations with my family, she always invites herself. (We don't usually let her go.) I know I am an adult and my husband gets tired of her butting in, but she is my mom and I do love her. I think I am going to wait until closer to the time of the surgery so I just won't have to hear it as long . I just wouldn't feel right not telling her at all.

Misty - I hope I do as well as you after my surgery! You are doing fabulous!

thanks bb, thanks for the support.

Ok...Here's the update.

I finally had to tell my mom. It was bugging the heck out of me and I felt like I was lieing to her ... well I was lieing to her. She thought my dh and I were going to Vegas and kept prodding about that so I finally told her. I also stated and made her repeat to me that we are not telling the whole world about this and it was not her place to tell ANYONE about it. I guess she thinks the people she works with are not anyone, because she took it upon herself to tell them. She said it was because she was worried about me and just needed to talk to someone about it. I think it was because she is addicted to . If she needed to talk about it she should have talked to me. I am the one that has been researching it for the last year and a half! Oh well, just proves my point about telling her stuff. I really didn't need another lesson learned in that department. I have had enough. You just always hope that you can tell your mom things without worry.