Today I went to see my sleep doctor and I weighed in 15 pounds heavier than I was on 11/6/07. That is a lot of weight to gain! I was 236 today and was 225 when I started posting here about a month ago.

It seems like there are so many pieces to this puzzle that I need to get just right before things will work.

I am bipolar, have idiopathic hypersomnia (kind of like Narcolepsy only I don't always fall asleep) and have other mental issues as well. I just got put on Provigil which makes for 5 prescriptions that I am on monthly for maintenance alone.

It seems like the whole weight loss issue is one that I am having a hard time handling. Whenever I try to lose weight I get so obsessed and I end up binging because I always feel like I am restricting, even if I am not.

I am thinking about putting my LA Weightloss dealy on hold while I handle some of these other issues.

I guess my main question is this... How do you truly work to make your diet into a new "way of life" vs. a "diet"? Any clues as to how I can stop self destructing??? I really need help. I need to turn here more often for support, that is step number one.

Here's one idea....
Instead of making huge goals that change your whole life, make only a few small goals. For example, make a goal to eat 4 fruits or vegetables per day. Make a second goal to work out 3x per week. Try just those two simple goals (or the ones you choose) for two weeks and then think about what goals you want to make for the next two weeks.

I've also gained a lot of weight since the holidays. It's a good idea to spend some time to sort things out for while. But remember that dieting is a lifestyle change, and like life itself, should not be put on hold. That's what I did and why I gained those weight during finals and the holidays.

Incorporate some fun things to do like shopping for new clothes or doing something you've alway wanted to do...join a martial art class or go hiking. These might help you find inner calm while keeping to your new healthy lifestyle.

I agree with bethbeth...small improvements are motivating.

good luck.

We all wish we could put life on hold sometimes but that just isn't how it works. Losing weight is like feeding the kids or giving the baby a bath. Has to be done, has to be done everyday and no matter if you want to or not, you can't put it off. I like the idea of making a goal to eat the required amounts of one of the basic food groups a day. Pick the one you like the best. Turn that goal into a habit. 2 fruits a day, everyday. Won't take long as all and it will be something you do and don't think much about. Then move on to another basic food group. I do understand about the meads. I understand about feeling out of control and things seeming like they are piling up a bit all around you. You will find, you take control of one thing;you will feel so much better about yourself. You will have the energy and willpower to take control of another thing and then another. You are worth it, you have the right to be a happy, healthy, thin person.

I have been on and off the wagon for years. I see the most success when I don't go cold turkey on anything. I find ways to fill my cravings. I don't give up dessert, I bought WW sundae cups and South Beach oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I don't give up pizza, I eat the South Beath and Lean Cuisine pizza. I don't give up pasta, I eat Smart One pasta meals or eat the Tofu Noodle Substitute with pasta sauce. I don't give up alcohol, I make sure to stop after 2-3 glasses of wine and then don't eat dessert that night. Planning is key and working out is key. You CAN do this!

I forgot to mention that it's a good idea to eliminate all junk food. And stock your house with the good, healthy food that you can handle (Don't get food that you'll hate and tell yourself to eat them! I made this mistake when I bought whole wheat sandwiches and was going to make myself eat tuna sandwiches for a whole week, I gave up quickly). Your favorite 'bad' food should be reserved for special occasions (thus should not be in the house).

Thanks for all of the advice and encouragement guys. I went to a nutritionist today and I am going to log and take things one meal at a time. Why does this have to be so hard???

Hang in there - I have been dancing around the same 10 lbs since the holidays too.

Weightloss is hard, but you will find your groove soon enough.

Good luck and let us know what your nutritionist says.

If I'm ever feeling restricted when shopping for food, I go to the produce section (either in my local or a specialty/ethnic grocery store) and grab some new and/or exotic fruits to spice up my usual menu. There are really a lot of things you can eat while still being healthy, and eating a variety of things will help prove to yourself that you're not going to get bored with your new lifestyle. There's also lots of diet cookbooks out there that have healthier versions of comfort foods etc, so maybe finding wiser substitutes for your former favorite recipes will help keep you on track.