i think that all the emotional energy and mental focus it takes just to stay on track should burn 500 calories an hour. i'm just at the start of my journey though i'm certainly not new to weight loss...i've never had this much weight to lose. i've developed patterns and habits over the years that i was completely oblivious to until now. i've discovered things about myself emotionally that i would have been shocked to know 3 months ago. i'm astounded by how protected i feel by the very same fat that i hate! and how much i've been numbing myself with eating since getting out of a very abusive relationship and a traumatic surgery. we are all overweight for different reasons but those are mine. while i'm rather disappointed that i did this to myself i'm proud of myself for snapping out of it.
until now i always believed that losing weight was a math game. simple numbers and nothing more. now it has become much more than that. who knew?
this is taking much more focus than i ever imagined it would. breaking patterns is hard. creating new ones is hard. i hate to sound whiny but this is tough! i know it is rewarding too though.


