It's like the chicken and the egg. Did getting fat cause your husband/boyfriend to lose interest or did food become your only source of physical satisfaction? I don't know the answer to that question. As most of us know, we don't overeat from hunger for food, but for something else lacking in our lives. Yes, we're told men can find fat women sexy and appealing. How can anyone find you sexy and appealing when you don't feel that way about yourself? No matter how much we try to change the way we think, very few of us can accept fat and the way we want to be.

Vita,
Don't get down on yourself. You sound like me....I'm always philosiphisizing(not really a word but you get what I mean) about why I do thing or why things happen. I end up driving myself insane! I do know that I substitute food for things that are missing in my life and it is really difficult to change that. My father left home when I was 10 and I've since lost contact with him. I've never been able to hold a relationship with a man. (Granted I'm only 20...I think it still affects me) I know that my need to be loved by someone of the opposite drives me to want the perfect body which in hindsight drives me to eat my heart out untill I feel satisified. It's kind of crazy. Not many people understand what it feels like either. All the people in my life tell me that I am beautiful and that I am great person and that I should not obsses with my weight but I definatly agree with you that No One will love me unless I love myself.

Eleni