Alright, I guess I just need to vent. I am in this cycle of dieting and binging. I will do so well on a diet for 2-3 weeks... losing weight, exercising like crazy, tracking all of my calories on FitDay, etc. I will usually binge occasionally (once a week) but overall I do really well.

Then something happens that gets me off track. Either I go out with friends and drink, or something of that nature, and I'll overeat in that circumstance. The next day I will say I am going to get right back on track but it's like my willpower has just disappeared. Then I start eating whatever I want again.

I really don't think it's an issue of "how bad I want it". I want to lose weight more than anything in my life. I have dreams (nightmares) almost every night about being fat and unhealthy and unattractive.

Maybe I shouldn't go out and drink with friends, but seriously, I'm not sure it's realistic for me to say I am never going to go out. I do it once a month at most and I am usually pretty good about moderation. I am 21 years old and in college.

I know no one is going to say any magic words that are going to change everything for me. I am just sick of being fat.

This happens to me, too. Being 21 and in college is not easy! Haha. This will sound cliche, all of it, but it's all i got.

This will happen. You can expect it. However, if being "fat and unattractive" is something you hate more than anything in your life, only you can change that. You know as you sit there and tell yourself that you will get back on track the next day, you are only lying to yourself unless you REALLY do it!
I do this all the time, i just say "i'll get thin eventually," yet i'm miserable and inpatient as I prolong the process.

Write a list, or a little something on a piece of paper, expressing how much you want it. How much you need to be healthy and how important it is to you. And go back to it when you need that encouragement. I have a folder with all my weight loss tracking crap in it and the outside of the folder is plastered with pictures of me at my biggest. on the inside of the folder I wrote something one day when i felt really down, telling myself how important this journey is. Ever week when i record my weight, i read it and look at the pictures and it keeps me going.

You're doing amazing. You are beautiful. You can do this, and you will!!!!

I used to have the same problem as you, and at your age too (I am 27 now). I would space out my drinks. 1 drink, then 1 glass of water. Or I just wouldn't drink at all. I ended up figuring out that it was more important to just spend time with my friends and enjoy the company than the drinks (although this came as I got older).

As long as you get back on the program afterwards, I think you are doing pretty good. Try doing the every-other-drink thing and see if that helps. Always worked wonders for me! And think of this too - once you've had enough to drink, you probably lose all inhibition. I used to CRAVE pizza, pasta, burgers after having a few drinks and I'd give in to those cravings. Another reason I learned that its just not worth it for me to drink anymore. Don't get me wrong, I have 1 or 2 every week or so, but thats about it now!

Theres nothing wrong with going out every once and a while like you said, when you binge and then your willpower is gone just say I screwed up! Big deal! and get back to it. Also, exercise... It will help you get back on track and feel motivated and boost your will power.

Hey girl! You know, I was just saying that same thing in my post on the weekly chat. I'm sick of being fat. And sometimes I just don't want to do anything about it! But, girl you've done so well this month! You've gone down some pounds and you've done an amazing job on your walking goal! We all fall backwards at some point. And those that don't even make a mistake need to be slapped. LOL!! But seriously, you know we're all here if you need us. We're all going through this frickin' hard thing called weight loss. Sigh... All I can say is, try again today. Thats what helps me keep going when I don't feel like it. It's not my cure-all but it helps.

Hey Chris!
I was wondering what had happened to you...I tried to PM you but my computer bit it and I didn't have the patience to deal with my boyfriend's old machine.

Anyway, I hear you. I have been there, and somehow I'm not there anymore, and I wish I could tell you why...I still drink (too much), but those greasy binges just aren't a part of my life like they used to be. That sick, full, heavy, horrible feeling...oh I know it well but it's only a memory. I don't write this to brag, but to give you hope. I truly believe that a lot of why I was able to pull through that very long period of my life (figure senior year of high school until I was about 25 and I'm almost 27 now) is that I finally got myself on a path in life that I like. I flaked around for a long time and went to food for comfort when life felt too heavy, but now that I'm in grad school, working towards what I really want, I just don't use food that way anymore.

I feel like it's so cliche to talk about those empty spaces inside of you that you might be filling with food -- you know the drill by now, but if you don't, pick up anything Oprah related and that's what it will talk about. I think it's true, though. Unfortunately, identifying and then FIXING those problem spots in life can be much harder than losing weight. It's a hard road, but I know you can do it!!

S

What about going out without alcohol for a few months? DO you think that would help?

I know i've said this before but I have a lot of the same issues so I feel your pain. Its terribly frusterating.

Good luck!

I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it, Chris. The only advice I can give you you're already following -- to pick yourself back up after you binge or hop off the wagon and go at it again. It's really the best we can all hope for of ourselves.

This is pretty much my new favorite saying, ever, and people are soon gonna get tired of me saying it all the time, but: Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintenance is hard. Pick your hard. Sometimes hearing something like that is just the right thing, you know?

So, how are you doing overall per month? Not week-to-week, but are you still seeing your weight inch downwards? Even if you're only losing a pound or two each month, that is STILL progress, though not as fast as you'd like. But if you really feel you're unable to clean up the rest of your eating habits right now (figuring out why you binge and working towards taking that behavior out, for instance), you're still making enormous progress to lose *something* each month.

Last year I was in an LDR with my now-DH, and I was bored and upset and emotional and lonely for the entire year. I would binge pretty much every 3 days, and restrict what I ate on the days in between. Needless to say, I was thankful I fit into my damn wedding dress at the end of it all. While losing weight was on my mind (what future bride doesn't think of it?), I knew it was too much to expect of myself -- not until I could control my binging. When I ended each month the same weight as I started, I was happy. So if you're still seeing a loss, that is still excellent progress!

Hmm.. not sure where I'm going with all this...

You say on your off days you go back to eating whatever you want... Maybe try eating whatever you want on your "on" days? I mean, if you really want to go get fast food, go get fast food, but make it work into your daily cals and maybe get some exercise on those days. Really there shouldn't have to be much of a difference between what you eat when you're "on" and "off", just portion sizes. Perhaps some compromise is in order to help you feel like you're not dieting, per se?

Anyway, Make sure you stick around 3FC, even if you fall off the wagon. We're always here for you!!

Hey Chris. I think pretty much everything's been said that needed to be said, other than that I MISS YOU, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?
I think the biggest problem here is that when you go off plan, you disappear. (Is that why you haven't been around lately?) If this place is good for one thing, it's motivation when you're feeling low and frustrated and like you can't do this anymore.
If I were you, I wouldn't expect you to stop drinking with friends, btw. I went out last night and had 5 pints of guinness and am still not too horrifically over. Thing is, I knew I was going out, so I compensated a bit by keeping myself full on low-calorie foods, went out and drank what I wanted.
Even if you don't compensate before-hand, compensate afterwards, even if you do it in bits and pieces... take one day down by 300 calories, the next by 100, the next by 250 until all those alcohol calories are accounted for.

ANYHOW. Either way, we MISS YOU, get yer butt on here more often!! *hug*