
See, I have NO idea what's happening to me right now. I once again weighed this morning (though official WI is on Saturday) and i'm UP 1.5 from yesterday. Yesterday I was down .5, the day before I was up 1. So we're looking at an overall upward trend, and I SWEAR I am eating totally on-plan, getting in veggies and healthy oils and all that. I'm .5 away from my starting weight of 3 weeks ago.
start weight: 213.5
week 1 WI: 209.5
week 2 WI: 210
and it looks like week 3 WI will be... 213
Man, WW was so easy last time I did it. My body responded so well. Now it can't seem to figure out what to do with itself. And I'm even exercising this time, which I didn't do last time....... please don't let me rationalize stopping exercise!
Also, please don't let me rationalize giving up, which I would sorely like to do, since this is just another source of aggravation that is avoidable. (This is where that really good quote comes in: Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintenance is hard. Pick your hard.)
I plan 90% of my meals. I've been out to eat two or three times since restarting WW, and each time I've gone online and found nutritional info for where ever I'm going, and chose BEFORE I went what I was going to eat to make sure it fit into my plan. I've had one off-plan day... that was very off-plan.... but I still counted points and picked myself up the next day and kept going. Now it seems even if I eat OP I'm gonna keep gaining weight.
I do not understand the mechanics of my own body. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I can feel a change in my thigh muscles due to the exercise... My pants aren't cutting into me as much (due to the 1.5" I somehow lost off my midsection amidst all this)... I feel more awake during the day... I'm not craving sugar as much... I'm starting to feel like I *enjoy* exercise and actually look forward to it... But then I see my weight and get all discouraged, and all these good things go flying out the window.
THIS is why I want to take a hammer to my scale. Because it throws me off-track. Because no matter what I do, I can't make friends with it. Because, while I don't expect to lose 4lbs every week, I DO expect to see a little downward trend, or at least to see maintenance every now and again. Not gains. Not when I'm working so hard.
I'm trying to vary my points intake from day to day (like calorie cycling), but that seems to make the lbs come back faster. I'm kind of at the end of my rope. I'm not about to go bury myself in a bucket of ice cream, but I'm probably going to use my no-weigh pass on Saturday at my meeting. If they didn't require you to WI once a month, I don't think I'd ever get on the stupid scale ever again.
/End rant.
Gah.




