Hello!!! I've been trying to loose weight since August 2007, but I can't!!!

I have tried a billion diets, I always start the day perfectly, but I end up eating alot and of course, gaining weight.. I try everything, exercise, diets, I buy cute clothes that should look great when I achieve my goal, etc..

I've seen people in here that have los 150 lbs or so.. and I just want to loose 40! I really don't know how they do it!!! I feel so bad =(

is someone else going through this issue?

Porcelain - Stop. Breathe. You CAN do this!

First - how tall are you? Is your goal realistic? If it isn't, your body is gonna fight you.

Second - have you picked a plan you can really live with? Something that, taken as a whole, you don't really have a problem following day in and day out, forever? Find that plan. For me, it's calorie counting...nothing off limits, nothing I can't make work if I really move my calories around. Most times, I try to eat good healthy food, but it is nice to know that I can eat something unhealthy and count the calories, and still be "on plan".

Third - have you allowed yourself to slip up sometimes? Not one of us is perfect. Those of us who have lost weight and kept it off, though, acknowledge that we aren't perfect, and when we go off-plan or make some bad choices, we forgive ourselves, hop right back on plan, and move on. Period. No feeling guilty, no beating yourself up...maybe a little learning from what happened and how you can prevent it, and then getting back on plan. If I quit the first time I went off plan, I would have quit, oh, 2 weeks in. Get back on plan and move on.

What specifically are you struggling with?

I totally agree. If I had quit the first time I didn't do things perfectly I would have quit before I even started on day one. I am into my second week and have not had one single perfect day. But I have done my best. And that makes a big difference when what you are looking for is progress and not perfection.

Amanda is totally right Porcelain; you know I read a saying somewhere (don't recall where sorry!) and it was talking about dieting and going off plan, cheating in other words. It said "if you have a flat tire on your car, you don't go around to the other three and slash all your tires. You replace the bad tire with a good tire, you start the car again and you keep going" (99% verbatim) Good point. And getting off plan is the same exact way. Just because you lose it one time doesn't mean you should just throw in the towel. Fix what went wrong, and keep on trucking.

We're all in this together. And we're all going to fall, at some point or another. I know I have, many times. But here I am, "trucking right along". it's going to be different for every one of us, because we all are unique and what works for one may not work for the other. So figuring out what you are struggling with is uber important; that way, you can make a plan to counter that struggle, and make it bearable, and hey - you might even overcome it!

I could write a lot more to you but don't want to write a novel, so in closing I also read somewhere that weight loss is 90% mental, and I thought "that is so true". It's in our mindset, the way we think, the choices we make, our attitude, our planning out the battle of the bulge, everything. That was my weakness actually...what did me in the last go around; I didn't plan, and I didn't make good choices or prepare for times I'd be tempted to slip. I also have a better attitude towards exercise and found a solution, something I can do and be consistent with. Your plan needs to be livable, sustainable, and not leave you feeling deprived. I've pretty much decided I am always going to eat this way, because long gone are the days I will be able to "diet" then go back to eating bad foods all the time. Maybe doing something similar will help you. It all will add up in the end, believe me. Stick with it girl and you will see results.

Lastly these ladies on the board are so supportive, bar none on what is out there now or even maybe will ever be. No matter what, we are in this with you. You can do it - I believe in you!!!

Diets don't work. What we need to do is add sustainable lifetime changes to our daily lives. Things that we can STICK with forever. If you're restricting too much during the day, then surely you're going to blow it at night.

We need to find foods that are delicious, healthy and low cal. Also planning is ESSENTIAL. Eating healthy does not happen by chance, it must be throroughly thought out and planned in ADVANCE. If you have good food to eat throughout the day, several mini meals and snacks all prepared - well then, there's no reason to go off plan.

And of course all with all the planning in the world, there are bound to be slip ups. Know it, accept and don't let it derail you. It's perfectly normal and OKAY, from time to time. Right back to the good eating at the very next food opportunity.

Really, the key is to find something that you CAN and WILL stick to.

Hi Porcelain,

I've been going throught he same thing for years, trying every diet and failing. It can bum you out. Part of the problem for me was that I had to follow somebody else's diet and I felt like I had no control over what I wanted to eat. So now this time I decided to calorie count and eat healthy. I feel like this has given me the ability to choose what I want to eat and I plan it like a war strategy and since I feel like I have control over it, I'm sticking to it better than ofther diets. Could this be it for you also? Do you feel like you don't have control and just have to follow what the diet dictates?

Give yourself a pass and think about yourself and think about what diet/healthy eating lifestyle would work best with your personality. Think about what you would say to someone who wrote your post and say the same to yourself. Sometimes we are nicer and kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

I would also try to post here more during the day. I just discovered this place myself but I haven't quite seen anything like it - the amount of support is incredible.

We are all here for you!
HelenMay

A billion 'diets' won't work. Fads and shortcuts will always fail. Getting off track by the end of the day is a good sign that whatever you're trying is overly restrictive and not meeting your daily needs. You can't buy weight loss - it's a long term commitment that comes from YOU!

Focus on eating healthier food, getting whatever kind of exercise feels good, and then you can looking into cutting calories if you need to.

Not to beat a dead horse, as you've gotten excellent advice so far, and mine only rehashes it in a different way, but

Imagine yourself sitting down at the piano, expecting to play your favorite song (you don't read music and you've never played before). Are you expecting too much of yourself? How long would you try before giving up? How would you go about learning to succeed? How much practice would you expect to put in? How many "almost rights" would you celebrate (not grieve over).

The need for perfection is the most common and most dangerous weight loss myth out there. Rather than trying to "do the impossible," decide what is possible, even "easy" and do that. And if you fail at that - look at it. Do you just need to pick yourself up and try again, or do you need to break it into easier bits and try that.

Using others for inspiration is great, but don't compare yourself to them. It will take as long as it takes, and if it takes you less time or more, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with your progress. Celebrate success (even tiny ones, maybe especially the tiny ones), don't punish failure and don't give up.

It's a lot harder and easier than it sounds. It's hard to give up the idea that weight loss means dieting, and dieting means deprivation AND perfection, and any imperfection will zap all the weight back on, almost by evil magic. It does get easier - with practice - just like playing the piano.

I came to this thread to offer support--and ended up with some great advice for myself to put in my journal so that when those hard times come on my own journey I will have a tool to help me. I love seeing how many responded so quickly.

Porcelin, we have all gone through this at one time and will perhaps go through it again. Sometimes these feelings last a long time and others just for a brief time. I feel that every day I have to renew my motivation, I have to put my effort into it and I can't just expect it to happen.

Just another little tidbit to use as self-talk to yourself--and drown out those voices that are telling you that you can't do it. Someone once told me to not give up what I want the most for what I want now.

You CAN do this. Jump on board...just like you did and write out those feelings, seek support and offer it. Looking forward to seeing you post those losses.

I know how you feel...I've been trying to lose weight since May 2007. I've lost and then gained some back, lost and gained some back, but I am not giving up and you shouldn't, either! You are doing good by coming here and asking for support. That is something that really helps me. Good luck and don't give up!

Ditto to everything.

As for failing by the end of the day, figure out why you're failing. Are you overeating later in the day because you're stressed, tired? Go to bed earlier. Are you eating stuff off plan later because you see it? Get it out of the house! Are you eating because you're bored? Run around the block awhile. You have to keep motivating yourself, all day, every day for awhile. And really, for life. It's much easier for me now than it was when I started my weightloss, to find motivation and to bypass things I found hard to bypass before. And yet, I still have my moments, days, times when I just want to eat eat eat, and eat junk. I either cave and realize I just ruined ONE day, not years of hard work, or I find motivation again to keep me from it.