I can't believe I did that.

  • My depression tends to have me shying away from the world in general and staying at home a lot. I can't count the number of times I've seen some event scheduled and said "I'd like to do that!" only to, when it's time to actually leave the house and GO somewhere, get scared and freak out and stay home.

    On Sunday, I found and joined a weight-loss group on Meetup.com, that meets in my area. The first meeting on the calendar was last night, and it was their weekly progress meeting. I RSVP'ed "yes", told my boyfriend I was going out, made my plans accordingly.

    Come 6:00, when I knew I had to leave or I'd be late...mind you, this was further freaking me out because I just moved here, I have no idea where anything is, I get lost easily when driving especially at night, and I was driving to a totally new area in the dark...I was kind of dragging my heels a bit, about ready to do my usual "Changed my mind" sort of thing.

    But then I didn't! I actually got out of the house, and I drove all the way there, and wow. That was an experience. I'm also very reserved, I've been told I come across as shy, I just don't usually react well to loud or exuberant people, and this group is definitely the loud, upbeat, energetic type. I had a bit of a headache by the time I left, but I'm still so proud that I did it! The group is just starting a Biggest Loser-type competition, and I even committed to participating in that, too!

    I'm just...amazed at myself, that I actually went and handled it pretty well and everything. I guess I could have posted this elsewhere as just a NSV, but I figured...you guys would probably really understand what a step this is.
  • Great job taking that first step to getting out.I understand how you feel I have canceled a million times,I find that the more you get out there the easier it becomes.The pay off is how great you felt for doing itKeep up the good work.
  • Hello Nikaia and welcome. It took a lot it sounds for you to get out last night.
    Believe it, you did it. And where that came from comes lots more. YOU can do anything you want to. You proved that last night. Congrats!
    Sandy
  • Congratulations Nikaia!!!!!
    That is huge and good for you!
    I remember being terrified to leave the house so I understand what a huge first step this is.
    Take care and keep "baby steppin'"
    K
  • Thanks, you guys. I'm actually kind of excited about participating in the group stuff...they do Monday meetings, and walks ranging from 1-6 miles on Saturday morning, and sometimes other stuff too, like this Thursday they're doing a belly-dance class (I'm going to miss it as I'm out of town Thurs-Sun this week, which is depressing).

    But I'm actually wanting to participate in things, which is wildly divergent from my usual patterns. Weird. Hope it keeps up!
  • That's completely cool Nikaia. Baby steps are still steps forward. Although I believe you took a giant step!
  • That is so great to hear, I am so happy for you! You should make it more of a habit to get out. There is so much out there to do and see, even if the people scare you. =)
  • Thanks everyone. Another step tomorrow...there's another club meeting I want to go to, different group (this one's a spiritual/witches group) but again, the driving somewhere I've never been, in the dark, to meet people I've never met. Here's hoping last night's success helps remind me that it's obviously possible to survive such meetings!

    Again, thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate it.