Hello all,

I browse the forums a fair amount, garnering information here and there, but I don't post a whole lot. I have this dilemma, though, and I'm hoping maybe someone can help put it in perspective.

You see, I'm a pretty big girl, 5'3, 225. But I used to a BIGGER girl at 275. In 2007, I lost about 50 pounds, and I took a few months off to see if I could maintain it, which I did, more or less. My ultimate goal is to hit 185, but I've gotten a few looks from people, like 'Why? Why not be skinny, you'll still be fat that way.'

I always point to the fact that we're all made up different, and one persons 185 could be different from anothers. I would like to remain plus-size, at a 12 or 14, and didn't think that 225 would get me to 16 (which it has), so I'm just wondering some other peoples takes on this.

In the end, I'll be the brat, and do what makes me happy, but I would like to know what some other people have to say, who are in the same, or similar weight boat.

-You- decide your goal weight. Most people try to aim themselves into a category defined as "healthy" by BMI. For some, though, that number just isn't reasonable!

Ultimately, it is your call. Maybe you'll get there and decide you'd like to go lower, and maybe you won't (I thought I was gonna be happy at a 12...in fact, I thought I'd be emaciated at a 12...but I had no way of knowing and decided to change my goal once I reached that size). Just keep going and don't listen to those who would determine your goal for you. You'll know when you've reached where you want to be.

My goal weight is actually the very tiptop of the normal range. I've had people tell me that I should lose more, but I'm happy where I am. Ultimately, the decision is yours.

- so happy you came out of lurk mode!

Its up to you. Or down to you. I'm glad you are doing what makes YOU happy. Its all relative. One persons goal weight can be another's start weight, but its all the same struggle feeling wise, and provided they both reach a peaceful internal conclusion, who gives a darn? funny thing is, we tend to be harder on ourselves than other people too. ALthough you seem to have a good attitude.

I WANT IT!!

lol
x

these ladies are absolutely right. and, if i could make a suggestion, it's not really anyone's business what the number on the scale is. maybe putting it in terms of dress size might help you avoid some of these conversations!

Or just tell everyone to worry about their own darn bodies and leave yours alone! I wouldn't mention my goals or my current weight to anyone. None of their business.

You get to decide how much you want to weigh. What might be comfortable for you might be too high or too low for someone else. In the end, it is YOUR body and you're the one who has to maintain it. Ignore them and do what you need to do to be fit, healthy and happy.

I started at 295 and have settled in at around 175 for now. It wasn't something I actively decided on, but, for now, mentally and physically I'm here. I am techically still overweight if you look at my BMI, but I am so much healthier and happier than before. Maybe someday I'll go lower. Maybe someday I will be "normal" but it seems that's not a real priority for me, and I'm just fine with that.

Everyone is right. You decide where you want to be.

Do what feels best for you and find a weight you can easily maintain.

My healthy weight range is between 173-190. Any less and I would look and be ill. Of course according to BMI I am 'obese' to 'overweight' depending on where I am in the range. Charts can be a guide ,but what is healthy varies individually.

I'm built wide and typically wear a 14-16 in pants and I would still be in the same size if my trouble areas (saddlebags ugh!) disappeared tomorrow. So you aren't the only person that will be plus-sized at goal.

When did a 12 or 14 get to be plus sized? That's not exactly Lane Bryant territory.

Be what ever size you want. It's nobody's business.

I think we're in the same boat sugarchan. I dont really see myself going lower than a 14/16 in pants (I'm a 20 now) and I think I will be totally happy with that. who knows -- and maybe it's just me not wanting to think about how much work I've got left to do.. but I'm not looking to become a size 4 or something. I think I could be pretty happy and healthy at that size.

You guys are completely awesome, and I thank you for all of your support. Perhaps I will lurk less, and speak more.

I hope so!

Oh, and I forgot to mention, I'm a size 12 or 14 (depending) and loving it!

To reiterate what has already been said, your goal is your goal! I could personally probably lose another 20 lb and be fine, but I set my goal weight at a weight I'm comfortable with and will have no problems maintaining. Everyone should do the same, so it's good that you're doing so! Besides, 12/14 isn't "fat" by my definition...

People (such as the ones you're talking to) get too hung up on numbers, anyway. It's all about what makes us happy and healthy.

I totally agree with you. There are those that say everyone needs to fit into a little box defined by your height, weight, nationality, whatever the newest criteria is. The thing is that what makes someone attractive is that inner glow. I have seen women who are size ones and then I see women who are 12/14's and believe it's whats inside that makes you beautiful. So whatever size that is that makes you shine from the inside out, that should be your goal, not what the media says.

Just because some people are thin that doesn't automatically make them healthy. I am 50 lbs heavier than my size 2 friend and I know I am in much better shape and have better diet habits than she does.

Whatever your size is you can be healthy. Don't let friends, doctors or the media tell you that you have to fit into a certain size to be considered healthy. You do what is right for your body.

Thanks for bringing this up Sugarchan. My goal weight is close to yours and I haven't specified the number to anyone (outside of 3FC) out of dread that it would be met with a response similar to...


When I talk about my goals with family and friends I always try to put it into terms that are aside from the number on the scale. I might talk about how far and fast I want to be able to run, what size I want to wear or what BFP I'm aiming for.

I'm a very sensitive person and I think I would be horrified if someone told me, as overtly as they did to Mandalin ",you should lose more weight" in regards to my goal. That would be really rough for me to hear - even coming from a doctor or personal trainer.