Yes, I didn't mean it to sound so rude-like!

1. But how in the heck did we get here?
2. How did it seem to happen so slowly, but it happened really fast?
3. How did we LET these lbs creep on?
4. Why did we ignore it?
5. Who were we kidding?
6. Where did we go wrong?
7. What were we thinking?

My motivation in asking this is to keep us motivated, for us to recognize why we gained weight so we (I) don't do it again, and simply because I am nosy (as you should know by now) and am interested in learning.

I will answer in 30 minutes after I work out (living room style baby).

How did we get so fat? Most of us ate too much and moved too little.

We overate and under exercised . What were we thinking? I was thinking where's my next Ben and Jerry's fix? Where did we go wrong? I took a wrong turn in the grocery store and ended up in the ice cream aisle.

Seriously, though, interesting questions. I wasn't kidding anyone, including myself. Actually, I worried about my weight quite a bit even as I was gaining. This last time I regained in record time. It was scary. I think how it happened is that I never learned anything from previous diets, except how to loose weight quickly. I didn't realize that this was going to have to be a life-style change, including a permanent change in eating habits. As much as I like to study whatever I am obsessed with at the moment, I never read one thing that was even remotely helpful about maintenance.

I think that I now have the information I need. I can't promise that I have "got it" for life, but at least I have a chance.

Actually, in a sense, I have maintained for longer this time than I ever did before, because I have been on this journey longer.

I was going to say "good luck", but actually we need to be pro-active, not depending on luck.

Duh- overeating and not exercising--but WHAT caused that?
I was more meaning, were you always overweight? did a change in your life happen (emotionally or physically with health, relationship, job, family, school, enviromnet, how long did it take you to gain etc...)

gail- awesome job on the 39 lbs lost and maintained!!!

1. But how in the heck did we get here?
almost 3 years of kidding myself, went from a fitness job to an office job, started eating meat again-- a lot of fatty meats-- and a lot of it, going out to restaurants w/ my new boyfriend and eating EVERY little bit of food they served me, PLUS desserts!
2. How did it seem to happen so slowly, but it happened really fast?
at first it just seemed like a lb or two a month, i guess i was saving becoming fit for later!
3. How did we LET these lbs creep on?
i kept buying a size or too larger clothing every few months, so it sort of crept on over the last 2.5 years
4. Why did we ignore it?
i ignored it because i was depressed, and there were plenty of people that were more overweight than me (in my life) so i sort of used that as my excuse
5. Who were we kidding?
only myself!
6. Where did we go wrong?
giving up on fitness
7. What were we thinking?
I'LL START TOMORROW

Monet- very happy that you found a great doctor, that can make so much of a difference in our health!

I think overeating and underexercising are the most legitimate answers, and the rest often only complicate the issue. There are thousands of "whys" for each and every one of us. I'm not sure listing, or even identifying them all is very productive. Besides, they sound too much like excuses to outsiders, and even often amongst ourselves, and they certainly can become so.

I think that the first thing to stress and acknowledge is that it is NOT because we were crazy, lazy, bad, or stupid - at least not entirely - or at least not any more than any other human being on the planet who has something about themselves or their behavior that they are not completely happy with (which is virtually every self-aware person on the planet).

I think the question is often asked differently than for other disfunctional habits and behaviors such as in smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling, sexual addiction, huge debt, habitual job loss, criminal activity, getting involved in abusive relationships.....

I think while some of the answers may be the same, there are also a thousand variations for every person and situation. I also think that many of us will never know all of the reasons for our unwanted behavior and difficulty in changing. The bigger, better, and most important question is how and where we've found success in making the changes we want.

^^ +1

Wow, how come my answers always get shot down?!?! LOL! I guess I just like to analyze things and understand things. I just don't know how people can solve a problem that they can't identify. Anyway, was just interested in hearing people's stories, maybe this isn't the right forum for it.

vixjean -- I don't know if people were shooting you down so much as providing their perspective. I think it's a great question to ask.

I am also very reflective and analytical, but I know I didn't come to any great understanding of my own "whys" before I started... or even today. I am slowly figuring some things out about my "whys" but I may never really know why I thought it was okay to let myself weigh 300 pounds. But I do think that, for me, continuing to reflect about it is an important tool in my maintenance arsenal.

I think the problem with the questions for me, is that on any given day, the answers would be different. I was a slender four year old, and an obese five year old. I don't have a clue what happened in that year to make such a big difference.

I used to say it was because it was when my mom first started letting my brother and I cross the street to walk the block to grandma and grandpa's house after dinner. They'd have a second dinner waiting for us, and even as a very small child I don't think I had an "off" switch when it came to food. I ate until I got sick or was forbidden to eat more (and within a few years, that didn't help any at all, as I'd just wait until everyone went to bed). But that doesn't really make sense, as no one forced me to eat a second dinner, and my brother ate that second dinner and hos food intale was ridiculous yet he never gained an ounce (of course in hindsight, he was also much more athletic, and had undiagnosed ADHD - he was always moving so he had the metabolism and activity level of a hummingbird).

I strongly suspect a genetic component. I was adopted and don't know enough about biological family to know for sure, but my weight and relationship with food is unlike any in my family.

I also think that "dieting" is responsible for much of my weight gain. Being put on a rather strict diet in kindergarten, and being given amphetemine diet pills at 13 or 14 did more harm than good I think. Especially since the traditional concept of dieting was (and to a certain degree still is) that it was for a temporary time period. That once you lost all of the weight, you would eventually get to eat whatever you wanted. I had more reinforcement than discouragement for crazy diet thinking, because that is what books, magazines, telivision and other dieters modeled - crazy beliefs and crazy expectations. I think that's still true today, although there is at least more exposure to "common sense" approaches. Still every women's magazine at the checkout still has a chocolate cake recipe and a crash diet advertised on the cover, and crash diets are as popular as ever.

All in all, there are thousands of choices and experiences and cultural circumstances in the environment that reinforced and sustained skewed behavior (not only when it comes to weight loss). I think I chose to study psychology in part to try and figure myself out. No such luck, exactly. Or rather, understanding all of the reasons (genetics, biochemical, physical, emotional, psychological, habitual, cultural...) didn't help me change. Only change can bring about change, and it's rarely easy no matter what change you're trying to make.

I think it was most clear when I was a probation officer. I had so many people on my caseload that truly wanted to change, but criminal behavior was so natural and ingrained to them, that they really had a very tough time creating a "normal" life for themselves, because criminal behavior was normal to them. Much of what came out of their mouths were identical to things I had thought or said at some point about my weight, and I realized they were the same problem. Change is hard and it sucks. The human body and mind fights change, and disfunctional behavior tends to spiral into more disfunctional behavior. The only thing that works is one step at a time, digging yourself out of the whole you have made for yourself.

But the thing is "gradual change" is not a popular concept. We expect perfection, not progress, and we consider a "partial-success" as a failure. Experiencing only failure, we give up and go back to old habits.

I think our culture and the dieting/weight loss subculture makes the process more difficult. Crash diets are more popular than common sense, and there are unwritten "dieting rules" that most of us initially follow until we find our own way. I think most of these are complete hogwash, but many of us follow them anyway, because we think we're "supposed to," or because it's the only model we've seen. Very few people are impressed by a one pound loss, and yet most people who will try to lose weight this year will not be able to lose even one pound and keep it off all year, yet alone a consistent one pound per week or even per month.

It isn't that I think understanding our "reasons" is completely pointless, but I think that for most of us the reasons aren't simple, and if we had to understand them before doing something about them, we'd spend our entire life studying ourselves, but never getting around to the changing part. Every question could be answered in a book, not just a sentence.

For me I think I got as fat as I did (on several occasions) due to a lack of control. I am generally a very controlled person but with a responsible job, a home, a husband and two kids and a need to constantly watch what I'm eating needing my attention there been times in my life when the latter seemed to be the least important. During these times I've eaten what is quick and convenient and my health has suffered as a consequence.

I think of it like juggling, I can manage to control 4 balls but add a 5th and I can't keep them all in the air at once. I bet all those curious people out there would like to know which 'ball I've dropped' in order to get my eating back in control? Well earlier last year I failed to gain a promotion I was expected to achieve. Was it the end of the world? No, but it sure made me look at what was important in life. I decided I wasn't going to bust a gut as I had been and do work beyond what I was getting paid to do - I now do what I need to but no more.

I guess I will need to 'shuffle the balls' again in the future if I am to maintain the weightloss and progress in my career but with my children getting older perhaps this may be possible. Who knows?

Kitty

Hey!

I'll give you some short answers... Well, kinda short...

1. But how in the heck did we get here?
One mouthful at a time! While sitting in a chair all day. Enjoying the bounty that we are allowed in this extravagant culture.

2. How did it seem to happen so slowly, but it happened really fast?
For me it didn't happen fast. It happened over decades.

3. How did we LET these lbs creep on?
In my case it was gradual over years. I didn't see it happening in a day-to-day way. Oh, I would gain, and then one day decide to lose some--and do so! And then stop watching, and gain it back plus a little more... and then decide to lose some. And so on.

4. Why did we ignore it?
Because it seemed so gradual, and therefore it seemed like dealing with it could wait. I had more important things to do!

5. Who were we kidding?
Oh, you know who!

6. Where did we go wrong?
I don't think in that way. I think human beings are naturally drawn to tasty, calorie-laden foods because in prehistoric times, these foods were scarce and hard to come by. Now they can be had on any street corner for very little money. So, easy to gain--not so easy to lose. One requires no thinking at all, the other requires discipline, motivation, awareness...

7. What were we thinking?
We weren't, or not clearly. I don't think anyone sets out to become obese! I told myself I had more important things to do than worry about my weight, and therefore I didn't have time to figure out calories and meal plans, and certainly not enough time to exercise! Of course, none of that was true.

Jay

Vixjean, for me it was depression. I was active and fit and able to eat anything I wanted without gaining. But I've used food as a comfort since the onset of my depression at the age of 12, and it's a habit that's hard to break. Particularly as I'm rarely "well" for more than a few months at a time.
I know that eating healthy foods and exercising helps me to feel better to an extent, but when I'm in the middle of a major episode, food is my "kindest" friend.

I was heavy because I ate too much of the wrong kinds of foods. I was heavy because I had no problems eating when I wasn't hungry. I was heavy because I was deliberately blind to the calorie count of foods - I really didn't want to know my favorite "all the way nachos" at Qdoba had 1300+ calories. I was heavy because I ate whatever was convenient. I never said no to a free cookie, piece of cake, leftover bagel in the breakroom. I was heavy because I quit getting on the scale and refused to LOOK at myself (not down at myself in the shower, not in a full length mirror, not in photos). I was heavy because I worked a lot of long hours and ate a ton of pizza and fast food. I was heavy because a "serving" of ice cream at home was a heaping full cereal bowl, topped with chocolate syrup. I was heavy because I ate enormous plates of pasta with 5-6 pieces of sourdough bread. I was heavy because I thought losing weight was too hard and I would have to give up the foods I loved.

Now, after 3 years, I am a slim person because:

* I am very aware of the estimated calorie count in all foods.
* I plan for meals, I do a ton of recipe searching, grocery shopping, lunch packing, by Sunday, I know what I'm going to eat for every meal/snack for the entire week
* I carefully measure portion sizes (rice, pasta, nuts, dried fruit, cereal, salad dressing - especially)
* I get on the scale once a week
* I keep a mental calorie count every day of what I eat
* I gave up some foods forever (this is a personal thing, I don't MISS fast food, sugary soda, packaged baked goods)
* I found healthy foods I loved (low fat greek yogurt, Kashi frozen waffles, natural peanut butter, pomegranates, roasted butternut squash, roasted cherry tomatoes, wilted kale with garlic and lemon)
* I am willing to do the hard work it takes to stay thin.