So here I am.

I found this website googling "weight loss support groups." I decided it's finally time to stop making desperate promises in the middle of the night that I have no qualms disregarding the next day. This is my story.

I was always a little on the chunky side, I weighed 150 in 8th grade and am accustomed to seeing 160 on the scale. I did crew in high school for a few years and loved it, toned up but never was really skinny, and since moving into my own apartment in my third year of college have seen my weight go up 20 pounds over only two months.

My problem is binge eating. I don't believe in serving sizes when it comes to things like Doritos or peanut butter cups- I could eat a whole bag of each in one sitting. I've never had what could be considered "normal" eating habits-- I almost never eat a real dinner, it's always some kind of junk food, too much wine, ice cream, cereal, whatever.

I've made a few halfhearted attempts recently to try to lose it. I've gone for runs, which were never good even when I was doing crew, but are BEYOND difficult now, and I can't seem to find the courage to go to the gym at my new school. I've bought Lean Cuisines, which I like, but never seem to get out of the freezer. I don't even know what I've been eating from my kitchen, it feels like lately I'm always running to Walmart for another bag of Cheddar Chex Mix.

The horror story, for me, was a couple weeks ago when I went to a screening for a birth control pill study. When I did the weigh in, I was told that my BMI-31- was too high for me to participate in the study.

I'm terrified that I won't be able to lose the weight. My whole family is Fat, and even though I've always been chunky, I was still the slimmest of the lot. I just turned 20, I don't want to be that weight when I'm middle aged, and definitely not now.

I know it should be easy-- you make a decision, you stick by it. But somehow it never is. I thought maybe if I had some support, some tough love, someone who knew what I was doing, wouldn't judge me, and would put the foot down on me when I want to slip, would help. That was a lot of wishes, but that's why I'm here.

It's time. I want to get this right, I'm ready to step into the shoes of the person I want to be. I want to look in the mirror and see the girl I imagine in my fantasies of my future.

Hiya!

Well done for coming here. If you have control issues, why not come join us over at 'chicks in control' - we're a friendly bunch, who all have/have had issues with binging/starving/purging/any combination of the above...I personally am very good at keeping people accountable . In fact I can border on the side of blunt. Don't mean to be rude, it's just I calls em as I sees em. I'm also in my final year of uni, so know all about how hard it can be to eat healthy in that situation.

If you'd like some tips to get going -
First - chuck all the junk out of your room! You can't eat it if it isn't there. Recently I've started only buying what I need in smaller quantities - more costly, but I'm gonna be in major debt when I finish anyway, so meh.
Second - join your uni's gym! I too was terribly embarrassed to do this, even tho I am at maintenance weight now. Yes, there are some tall, skinny, pink-lycra wearing girls who were cool and probably also captain of the everything team in high school and have a pony but hey! We know life's not that easy in the real world, right?
Third - keep coming here! Vent, post, ask questions, do whatever you need to do.

Hope to see you around the boards.

Your struggle sounds really familiar. I'm 26 now, but when I started college, my weight started its upward crawl, aided much by the bingeing habits I developed. Long story short, I started getting pretty depressed, too. I'm wondering if part of your problem has to do with tendencies toward depression (yes, I am a grad student in a mental health counseling program. you know the saying, "when you're a hammer, everything you see is a nail?")
anyway, i can really understand your issues, and i hope these boards help to keep you accountable. FYI -- I hardly binge like I used to. Not sure how that happened, exactly, but it did! There is hope!!
Sonja

I don't really know if I'm depressed. Let me rephrase, I don't think I am, or at least no more than most people. I went to an early college for two years, and about half the people there transfer after two years, so I've had a lot of empathy from my close friends about transferring. I don't think that's it, I try my best to stay motivated about work and whatnot, but when I really think about it I spend most of my time in a sort of no man's land.

I don't really think being sad is an excuse for over eating, at least not for me personally. You know how sometimes you read stories about those people who are depressed and lose weight? Man, who are those people? Can they please trade with me?

I think my problem is just lack of control, and no one watching me for the first time in my life. My roommate works full time and has a boyfriend who lives nearby, so she is always at his house. No one knows if I run to the grocery store for a bag of chips and eat them all. Ice cream. Five Guys. Whatever.

It is not easy, it is hard. Losing weight is the hardest thing I've done in my life (and that includes getting two BAs and finishing a year and a half of law school). It is hard. There is no other way to put it.

I would say once you make the change you need to start taking little measures, maybe rather then buying regular chips buy baked, diet pop instead of regular pop, ect. And really work on portion control. That is what has helped me. I read food lables (even before I buy things, if I don't like the nutritional info then I put it back). When I buy things that I think I am likely to over eat with I immedialty when opening weight them into single servings and put them in individual bags. Sounds a little werid but it works. Also I track everything I eat, I use the website fitday (a lot of people around hear use it) to track and stay within my calorie range. Lastly may I suggest getting involved in the weekly chat and the weekly meal accountability thread because they help me (and a lot of others) stay accountable.

Welcome Saltshaka,

There is lots of good advice and motivation from people here.

Good luck - you can do it!

Welcome!! and remember that EVERYTHING you want, you can get! How are you planning to lose the weight?

hey,
i don't mean to push mental health diagnoses! you know yourself best. if you're looking for education on nutrition, then this is the place for you. there is TONS of info. And references to even more info. And yes, it IS hard!! But what is it that dear Oprah said? Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels?
good luck with your efforts! we're here for you!!
sonja

Haha. That's awesome. I've never heard that before.


Welcome saltshaka.

I agree with what everyone here has said so far. It's important to just start small really. Buying the "healthier" junk food. And slowly lowering your portion sizes. Even just starting with measuring out the portions you eat now - to see how much you are eating, so you can see how much to lower it by - is a good place to start.

There's lots of support here for everyone! Join the chat, and lurk through the boards until you find a place for you.

SaltShaka,
I know exactly what you mean. I'm 20 and a college junior. I live with 3 other girls, each who eat next to nothing. I know they're unhealthy too, so it's hard to gauge what's correct, etc. I avoid the university gym like the plague. I hate it. It's small, and too judgmental. Good luck, this place is a blessing.

My main plan to lose the weight is to cut out all the really unhealthy things I eat in ridiculous portion sizes. For the first month or so I want to really cut the calories to get rid of the extra-extra weight, so I'm trying to keep it under 1500 calories a day, with some good healthy activity. Ultimately however, I want to be able to eat flavorful and healthy food without feeling like I'm missing out. I don't wanna just lose the weight and then revert to unhealthy eating, I want to find a new lifestyle. This, I have found, has been hardest, because my favorite thing to do IN THE WORLD is curl up in a comfy chair with a good book and a bag of chips. It feels really weird not eating something while reading. I think I'm going to remedy this with those 100 calorie packs of Chex Mix

I gotta say, just joining this group has made me feel a lot better about my decision. It's made me feel accountable, and a lot easier to resist the temptation to binge. I'd never been able to really do it before. I know its only been two days, but I can't help but feel it'll get even easier as the days go on.

Your story is very similar to mine. I recently moved into my own apartment to go to grad school, and I definitely have similar eating habits. I love those cheesy snacks. I always tell myself not to buy the junk food and lots of times do manage to avoid it when I am actually doing my general food shopping, but then I have such a craving for it, that I end up going out and buying Sun Chips or Doritos or whatever and eating way too many of them. Buying the portion controlled bags does work at times, but I am trying to completely cut out that food right now.

And I am exactly the same way with not eating real dinner. I live by myself and since I don't really have anyone to cook for or anyone to cook for me, I usually don't bother with a real dinner. I am usually hungry by the time I get home, so I don't feel like taking the time to cook and end up eating whatever junk I have around the house. And I am not even sure what to make/what I'd really want. When I was home living with the parents, I'd eat dinner, but I didn't love the food that much, so at times its not really even worth it to me. oh and, I too, have Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones in my freezer that I havent touched for months, I like them, but I am just bored with them. I actually lost a few pounds when I first moved here and felt like I was in better shape, but recently I've gained several pounds and even after modifying my diet and cutting out some of the junk I am still gaining, which is really frustrating.

And the gym thing is an issue for me to. I do Taebo workouts here at home, but have a tough time getting myself to fit in time at the gym. I wish my campus was closer so that I could workout in the morning, take a shower and then go to work/class. But the gym opens up at 7 and in general it takes me about 20-30 mins to get to campus, and my schedule starts at 10. So it doesn't really leave any time for me to drive to campus, workout, shower and then drive back to campus. And usually at the end of the day, I just want to go home and cant get myself to stay late to workout.

I completely identify with what your going through, I have been suffering from a pretty severe binge eating disorder for the past three ˝ years and can’t seem to stop no matter how hard I try. For me, the hardest part is going home, seeing my old friends who are still taken back by my forty pound weight gain and my inability to shed the weight. Anyway, you should definitely check out the “Chicks In Control” forum, it’s about all this stuff with binge eating and compulsive over-eating, it might be good for you to check it out!

Sounds like you're off to a wonderful start! I can def. relate to some of what you said.
And, for ME, "this" really does get easier as times goes on. The first week (ok, maybe the first 3?) were very hard for me.. always was when I tried to lose weight. Providing I can GET past those harder weeks, it's usually smooth sailing for me. I'm now at week 8 (9? memory loss here haha) and it's a LOT easier for me.. I still have as much motivation TODAY as I did the first day, and there's no looking back. I WILL lose the weight AND maintain.
It really helps as you go along... to see the numbers drop. I weigh in on Mondays and it's just the best feeling in the WORLD to see yourself get smaller, and healthier.
Anyway, you got some great advice here already.. so I wont blabber.

But, welcome and good luck!

Im new here too!! I am 27 and I gained about 50ty-60ty pounds within the past year and it is so depressing to me.
I want to be able to control my binge eating and get back to where I was.

Im there with you!