So, it's currently 2:30am and I have now been up for more than an hour stressing over and freaking out about 4 Quaker chewy granola bars... chocolate covered peanut butter to be exact.
I went to bed around 11:30pm and woke up at 1:20am for no reason that I can recall... but I went to the kitchen, opened a new box of chewy granola bars and ate 4 in the space of approximately 5 minutes and got back in the bed. We're talking 600 calories worth of chewy granola bars! I had not been back in the bed for more than 5 minutes when I started having this terrible feeling of dread which progressed into a full blown anxiety attack with hysterical crying... all of this over CHEWY GRANOLA BARS!!!! Sure it's 600 calories I now have to account for - so I'll have a light breakfast and lunch and maybe skip one of my snacks, I've already added the granola bars to my fitday.
I think the really terrifying part of this for me was seeing how quickly I could lose control. This is really the first "unexpected incident" that I have had since starting this journey and I really needed an hour to review how far I've come and to convince myself that yes, I can do this but I have to forgive myself and move forward.
As for the remaining chocolate covered peanut butter granola bars, well they have all been removed from their nice individual wrappers and thrown in the trash. And for good measure, I emptied the bathroom waste baskets on top and then threw in all the tissues from my crying spell - no more crying over granola bars!!
Anyway, thanks for letting me get this out there... now maybe I can get a few hours of sleep before I have to get ready for work.