and it was suggested by one of the members here. Thank you for hleping me finally admit that i have a problem.

I get so discourages, frustrated, angry, sad...becuase i gained weight..that to battle it i tell myself - SCREW IT! ill just eat what i want and massive amounts of it bc no matter what i do i wont loose the weight.
its depressing.
its effecting my sex life with my fiance.
i feel so bad about myself and the wasy my body looks.
its such a viscous cycle. I cant fit into any of my old clothes, i wear sweatpants all the time and just bought 500 dollars worth of new clothes for work so i dont look like a stuffed sausage in my older clothes. its embarassing.

I read here that geneen roth wrote a book...which i plan to read for help and support.
I need some suggestions that work for others who suffer from this too.
i feel so trapped...like i will never escape this...and part of me is still hoping for a quick fix.

all i want is to feel good about myself again.

HONEY, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I think most of us are emotional eaters. A friend and I were just discussing this topic: I noticed that every time I gained weight in my life, there was some kind of UNbalance somewhere. That UNbalance expresses itself thru my emotions, which I then tried to soothe with food, which was a terrible mistake.

YOU mentioned several emotions in your post: feelings of discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, depression, defeat, insecurity, and trapped. We ARE emotional beings; and LIFE HAPPENS, and we react to it with our emotions. I am trying to learn to respond in new ways instead of turning to food.

AT LEAST, now you are aware of what you are doing. Take a really honest look at your life right now; what is going on in your life that is upsetting you? I think that excess weight is really just a 'symptom' of something else that is isn't right or balanced.

I noticed that whenever I get hurt, or disappointed, or insulted, or sick, or angry, or sad, or lost a job, or lost a loved one, etc that my eating would get out of control for me. Negative situations or circumstances also led me to overeat; when I should have look for ways to solve the problems instead of blaming myself and internalizing the issues at hand. It had a snowball effect ...

Everyone would like a quick fix to every problem; but, there isn't one, dear. It's like you have to get out of it, the same way you got into it, in the first place. You have to make some small changes to eat healthy; so why not start now? I know it's hard; but as you see from the many successes here, IT CAN BE DONE!

We have learned some unhealthy habits; now it will take some time to RE-LEARN new HEALTHY habits to replace them. Change one small thing each day or week, as you prefer. Start with a goal of ten pounds, then another, and so on.

Mostly, you must remember that YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE SUM OF YOUR WEIGHT; find all those qualities, focus on them; and practice new healthy eating each day, forgiving yourself when you slip; and just keep on going. I hope something here is helpful to you ~ ROSEBUD ...

THanks so much for your support. I am about to head out to work and i am going to have a good day today.
i think i really have to look at the past year and see whats triggered me to "eat away the pain".



ill keep everyone updated.
xo
A

also,

should i attaned an OA meeting? do you think that will help?

OA...caution. It should be a *positive OA* group as they vary hugely...pop over to the OA board and ask people who've done it.

Emotional overeating is possibly one of the worst problems I've faced in my 19 years, which sounds melodramatic, but its been dire, I know where you're coming from.

The good news is that its fixable. The BAD news is that a) its not easy and b) generally requires tackling areas of your life outside your eating, because usually (for me, at least) more emotional overeating takes place because life isnt going very well, and you have low self esteem for one reason or another.

Emily
xxxxx

testing sig.

and thanks!! i went to an OA meeting tonight and met some really cool people. i think its good for me so ill stick with it

Heavy Metal - I am so proud of you for your post! You inspired me more than you know!

THANK YOU for being a source of inspiration. I am going to check out the post from "iamfire". I've only been on 3fc for 2 days and am already hooked. talk about instant motivation!

BEST OF LUCK - know that you're not alone... we're all in this!

Oh, and the geneen roth books are great. I have "when food is love" and another one that I can't seem to remember just now... i have also tried hypnosis, with mixed results.

The net/net of it is that you have to find out what it is that is unbalanced in you that causes you to fill it with food. for me, it's a spiral of losing my father so I constantly want the attention of men... how do you get that best, with a good body (or so i thought as a teen when my overeating began). However, when I would lose weight and have men attracted to me, I would freak out because the only men in my life left me (my father died - but to a young girl, it felt like leaving). So, I'd eat to protect myself from having to go through that loss.

Awareness is only half the battle for me... I know WHAT is literally eating me, but the habits are so engrained it's hard to manage. I tried yoga, that seemed to help, until it turned into another stress in the day (I have to get a million things done plus yoga).

I have tried to think of eating healthy as a gift for my amazing body. The right nutrients so it functions are truly the best gift you can give your body.

I struggle every night... some nights I conquer, some I don't. But each day I try to look myself in the mirror and say "you are beautiful, just the way you are" and "food does not control you, you control the food you put in your body to nourish it".

Best of luck!

That is certainly the truth there.

I gained the most weight I ever carried being with my ex. Besides going through a pregnancy, childbirth and new motherhood, he was a very neglectful, yet very subtly controlling person. He basically wanted his wife and kid, almost like they were simply collectible items, but wanted his buddies and social life more. Our house was always crowded with his friends, who would come over to play RPGs and video games all the time. His parents even took our son every single weekend after he was born so that we could spend more time together and connect after the huge change of having a newborn in the house - but all he did was invite friends over. However, when *I* wanted to go out and do anything, see friends, have fun, he'd make me feel guilty about it, like my leaving for a few hours was going to make him miss me SO much and blah blah blah.

It wasn't long after my son's birth that I think I hit some MAJOR post-partum depression that was exacerbated a thousand-fold by my ex-husband's behaviour. He wasn't treating me like I was his wife, like I was important, but like I was his roommate, live-in babysitter and housekeeper. Sex was about the only aspect of a real relationship he had any interest in, and complained when he didn't get it (but why should I feel like doing anything? What was in it for me?)

So, to salve over the loneliness and sadness and turmoil of being a new mother with barely any emotional support, I ate. I ate and ate and ate, because food was my friend. I didn't have to beg it to remove its friends for awhile so we could spend time together. I didn't have to fend off its attempts at sex even though it had barely really talked to me all week. Food was tasty, it was comfortable, and if I was going to feel and be alone, then I'd at least do so with something that lifted my spirits. (And yes, I had my baby, but they depend completely on you at that age - you can't depend on them for company and support).

It wasn't until I stood up and realised that the way my ex was treating me was not acceptable anymore that I finally did something about my weight, and really WANTED to. I started my lifestyle change earlier this month, a little over six months after I moved out and got my own apartment. Those first six months were time for me to set up, get my life in order, and build my foundations back. I had to start really loving myself again, because being physically alone is perfectly fine - it's feeling alone when you're with someone that takes an emotional toll. Once that happened, and I realised I was only hurting myself, damaging my health and appearance, hiding the great person I was inside - putting down all those foods I didn't need was easy. It WILL get hard as time goes on, of course, as does any journey.

But I think my situation is a good example of how, sometimes, you need to fix things in your life completely unrelated to eating. You can't erase all hardship, but having a constant source of it isn't something anyone needs.

i am with you girl! read a few books, see the literature on the subject, go nice and easy. it took a long time to learn en-normal eating habits so it will take a while to relearn.

karen koenig's the rules of normal eating is also great. and try linda moran's support group on yahoo on normal eating.

some days are very easy and i barely think about food but some days you feel AWFUL and the only answer is a cookie. or 10. i also am in therapy, keep a food journal, and sometimes drag myself outside to be in public and stay in the present moment....