I just had a situation which I handled badly, and I need some good input.

I rarely meet new people here. Everyone knows that I am losing weight, and has seen the results. However, I am still fat. I am currently maintaining yet again, because I am stressed out because of the wedding, I don't have as much control over what I eat, and because I am incredibly busy. So far so good. Today I stepped on the scale and I am back to my ticker weight.

Today I also met up with the stylist who is going to do my hair and make-up on my wedding day. It was awful! She told me that I was far too fat from eating fats and not taking care of myself, and started to recommend some seed extract which is "scientifically proven" to help with weight loss.

This went on for about 5 minutes until I cut her off, rather rudely, and said that I had already lost over 40 pounds and that I think I know what I'm doing. She kept going about the importance of exercise. I cut her off again, and said that I run at least 4 times a week. Back to the seed extract. I cut her off yet again, and told her that if she wasn't willing to listen to me then she would not make a good stylist for me. I then walked out of her shop.

#1 - How do you deal with people who don't know that you have already lost weight and begin to tell you that you're too fat and start giving advice?

#2 - How do I mend this? I mean, she is by far the best person in town for make-up. She's the only one that uses a brand that I've heard of (Maybeline, yeah, the drugstore kind), she's the only one that has agreed to use some of my stuff (Clinique, especially for the foundation), the only one whose pallet didn't include neon green or 50 shades of blue, the only one that has fashion magazines that aren't from 3 years ago or *gasp* 20!

Eep, I really feel like a b***h now!

How rude. Find someone else to do your hair/makeup

I think you handled it appropriately. You were assertive, not rude. She made errors in judgement and good manners. Are you certain that she is irreplaceable? If you really want her back, if I were you, I would explain to her that her "rudeness" angered you, but you would like to have her as your stylist IF she can keep her unwelcome opinions to herself.

WOW that was extremely rude of her. It's not her place to tell you that. Maybe go in and say I'm sorry I stormed off but what you said was very disrespectful I have worked very hard to get where I am and plan to continue with it. Althought I want you to do my make up I would appreciate it if we kept this on a professional level and you keep your comments to yourself. If she can't deal than go somewhere else. Sometimes you have to put people in their place or they don't realize what an a-hole they're being.

I dont think you handled it badly at all.

Personally, if she wasn't listening when you were asserting your boundaries about your body then how can she possibly be the right person to do your make up/hair on one of the most important days of your life? If you can find someone else it's probalby for the best. Something tells me this one is just chock full of "helpful" advice. Hello, tangerine lipstick!

Seriously, depending on when the wedding is, you probably could learn how to do make up yourself. You don't really need a "done" look anyway; it always dates the pictures. The best wedding pictures I've ever seen involved the bride looking refreshed and not overly made up or with hair sprayed into submission.

i agree, she sounds like a *****. you clearly gave her signs that you didnt or were not happy taking advice from her.
i cant say anyone has ever been like that to me, and i dont think u should feel bad, maybe she should feel bad for being insensitive and rude!
look about for a new one, if u cant find one then maybe just tell her how u feel, its your wedding, and if she is going to be your stylist then she has to show a bit more respct....(if she will take that?)
good luck

Archy~I think you handled it perfectly.

I agree that you don't want to overdo the makeup. My SIL (who NEVER wears makeup) had hers professionally done for the wedding. Yes, she looked great, but she doesn't look like herself in any of the photos.

Since this is the "best" person in the area for you (and I'm sure you're not exaggerating) you could try giving her another shot. Wait a week or so, go back and explain that you're willing to give it another go if she refrains from discussing weigh loss cures.

I agree with the others - you handled that perfectly!

If you do still want to use her for your makeup, I would go back in and explain to her that you would like to give her your business, but that it comes with the condition that your body and lifestyle are NOT open for discussion. If she can agree to that, she gets your business. If she can't, that's her loss!

If she doesn't work out, perhaps a friend or family member could help you?

I would think you could do like FabulousPhyllis suggested, HOWEVER, I'd be more concerned after this episode as to whether she'd sabotage my hair and makeup and I'd still find someone else. They may not be "the best", but if they're not as rude, they'll be much better for your mental state.

Omg! what a *#?#* !! She doesn't deserve your time, or your money. I say get rid!

Archy, you handled it well. I agree with Colleen and Phyllis, except I don't think you need to apologize. Personally, I'd be too stubborn to go back, and I'd learn to do my own makeup rather than deal with her again.

The only experience I've had that even comes close to this was an interaction with a mentally ill man a few years back. I had a plate full of Thanksgiving food, and he said to me, "A little obese, are we?" It took all my might to not break down in tears, and needless to say I didn't enjoy (or finish) the plate of food.

What a RUDE lady! The thing is, if she does a really good job, I suggest that you keep going to her anyway, but the next time you see her, just let her know that while you are sorry for bing her out, your feelings were legitimately hurt and that you hope to never have any future discussions about your weight with her again.

While saying that, I don't think you handled it badly. I probably would have done the same. Hearing something like that would make me extremely sensitive, but at the same time, if she really does such an amazing job, I wouldn't want to lose her. Just my 2 cents

Sounds to me like she sells that stuff and was trying to prime you for a customer! I would find someone else or do it yourself.

Kathy

YOU DID NOT HANDLE IT BADLY!! You did the right thing. It's your money, it's your hair, and it's your time.

Ya know, some people are just frigging mean, there is no other way to say it. I am glad you stood up for yourself and walked out of there! I hope other in the shop saw it and she was embarrassed. Dont let anyone talk to you like that, ever!