Hi guys.

As I said in my introductory post, I gained 20 pounds in about 2 months. I believe this is due to two reasons. First, I quit smoking. Twenty pounds is a small price to pay for quitting smoking. I'd much rather have a bit more weight than still be paying so much money to decrease my health and smell like a chimney.

Second, I finished grad school, got married, moved, and started a new job all within the month of April this year. So it's been very stressful. I lived within 15 minutes of my parents when I was in grad school and enjoyed seeing them often. Now I am about 4 hours away and although I'm a grown woman of 31, I still have had some trouble adjusting to it.

Anyway. At 5'6" and 140 pounds, I'm not even technically overweight. I am open to staying at this weight, and just improving my overall health. Nevertheless, I feel bigger, and because it happened so suddenly, it's been a bit difficult to deal with. One real problem is that it's affecting intimacy with my husband. We're newlyweds and we should be unable to take our hands off each other. Instead, I don't want him to touch me.

My husband is NOT the problem. He doesn't care how much I weigh and says he still finds me beautiful. But when we are in the bedroom, all I can think about is how uncomfortable I feel in my unfamiliar body, and I have a very hard time enjoying it.

Has anyone else had this sort of experience? If so, how did you manage it? I am starting counseling to deal with this and all of the other general issues of adjustment, so I am sure that will be a good first step.

Jeepers! I'm surprised you only gained 20 lbs with all of the stress and the quitting smoking too.

The counseling is a great first step, as is posting in here. You might well want to stay at your present weight but, if you want encouragment, support and lots of tips and recipes to lose some weight (and a little butt-kicking as well if you request it) this is a good place.

I was stuck at 145 for 2 years until I started posting here. Putting my weight "out there" for the group to see and "chatting" with all of the featherweights was the motivation I needed to get the lbs. off.

Good Luck in your journey, whatever you choose.

Dagmar (can you tell I needed a break from work?)

Sounds very similar to me. However, I am probably a good deal older than you (39 - I didn't marry until I was 36), but gaining was still difficult to accept. I probably weighed around 127 when I married, and many people used to tell me I was a little on the thin side at that weight. I looked and felt good, but honestly, I used to work out a LOT at that time. It wasn't so much for weight control but more for hobby. I was an extrememly active cyclist and did l-o-n-g rides, both mountain and road (like centuries), and I know I ate a fair amount more. I would probably have been 130 or low 130s without so much exercise.

Also about a year before I married I had some serious health problems and could NOT exercise vigorously, in fact, for several months I could not do much of anything. During this time I gained some weight, and it was very dismaying to me. First of all, it just felt weird to be in the low to mid 130s (not much but it felt like a lot of new stuff on my body), and second of all, none of my clothes fit. It was not a good feeling. I began to recover my health about 6 months before the wedding, so I resumed exercising but not as intensely. I also totally watched my eating (no plan or anything, but I just ate very healthfully) because I wanted to lose for my wedding... and just because.

I never have returned to the intensity of exercise that I had before marriage, and I think the reason is twofold. One, it's my body telling me to push it, but it does not want to be pushed to extremes anymore. I must be kinder and gentler with my body now (due to the prior health issues and I must admit my AGE). Two, I simply do not have the time I formerly had to devote to biking. My ex-boyfriend of 8 years and I biked together. It was what we did. My DH will bike with me if coerced, but an hour ride is the max we do together. So, like I said, intensity is very different.

I gotta get the phone, but I'll finish this later...

I know what you mean about feeling uncomfortable with gains.

Most of my weight came from a very stressful few months, and it was horrible how everything stopped fiiting all of a sudden I didn't feel comfortable.

I think you've come to the right place though. Welcome.

That must have been one crazy busy month for you. Wow. It's no wonder you gained some weight. Counseling sounds like an excellent first step actually. You'll be able to look at the stressors, get some help... Plus you're tackling those emotional issues first, which is something most people don't like to deal with at all.

You seem to have a very level head about you, you'll probably do great. Good luck.

Hmmm. Moving 4 hours away from family after having just gotten married. I can top that! Try moving 10 hours away AND being pregnant for the first time! You'll get used to it--but it will take time.

You seem to have a great attitude about yourself. Yes, we're all self-conscious from time to time, but you recognize that regardless of the fact that you've gained weight, you are still at a healthy weight (and more healthy because you quit smoking).

If I were you, I'd take the time to adjust to the newness of everything. Get used to being married, working a stressful job and not smoking. If anything, simply eat a more healthy diet. I'm willing to bet that that alone will allow you to drop some weight