my binges drive me to horrible antisocial behavior. i feel so miserable after binging that i don't want anyone to see me and i can't even count the number of times i've backed out of plans in the past year or so because of this. it's more than hiding what i eat or how much i eat... i just feel so hideous that i don't want anyone to see me at all.

i need to stop this binging... i HATE what it does to me in every aspect.

Yup, I can relate. I've made so many excuses to back out of plans when I'm in binge mode. I also have avoided seeing people for long periods of time because I had gained a lot of weight after bingeing for weeks/months.

I'm fairly certain that I've lost some good friendships over this. People just got sick of my excuses. I can't say that I blame them.

I'm trying to work on this and work on being more honest with the people who are close to me.

Yeah completely hear you. I haven't seen any friends for weeks. Not because I'm bingeing, in fact I'm losing, but because I'm losing *it* (my mind) as well, but its based in eating disordered rubbish.

I don't consider myself good enough to be with most people I think

emily
xxx

it's an odd comfort to know that other people feel and act like this too.

somewhere inside i know no one cares if i've lost or gained weight, if i'm feeling bloated or just *****y... but i do feel completely unworthy of people's company when i get like this.

i have plans with a friend tomorrow night, i'm seriously going to keep them.

Hi Iris,

Thank you for your post, reminding me of my own deep-seated tendency to isolate in COE mode.

And lately I find I want to isolate even without binge-eating. Scares me. I think it’s rooted in the fear I have currently because there is so much coming up for me that was buried beneath my food. I’ve been feeling negative, and isolating on that. If I keep that up, I’ll definitely overeat. I’m hiding in my work, and that’s not good either.

Other little tell tale signs of maybe setting myself up. Not drinking enough water – that’s a big one for me. And since I had the flu last week, I have not gone back to my exercise regime.

My overeating and binge-eating was all about isolation. I know I let people down and missed out on life-opportunities as a result.

Because of your post, I’m going to take a bit of action today – I’m going to show up at my AA meeting. I don’t want to, not sure I’ll keep my commitment, but I’ll try. I’ll take inspiration from your courage in meeting your friends tomorrow. Best wishes,

Wow,
I should have posted my intro. thread here because I'm feeling the same way.
Sometimes I come home after work and spend the rest of the evening in bed reading and sleeping and snacking. Uggh! I want to avoid the demands of my family when I'm doing this, or just looking for some time to myself after a hectic day at work or wanting to shut out the world.
I think that's why I eat mindlessly sometimes, as a distraction from my stress.

I've definitely been there. Not only have I avoided seeing people but I've turned down plans just so I could stay home and binge (pretty sick, huh?). Its so hard to break the habit but I'm trying to just take it one day at a time.

i seriously don't know what i'd do without this website... i really don't. I've not had internet for a week and it's been hard enough living without 3fc for that amount of time. I feel like everyone here thinks in exactly the same way i do... it makes me feel less of a freak really. Knowing other people actually feel the same way. I would never have thought anyone else felt like me, like they had to isolate themselves when they over-eat because they feel so ashamed and like they've let everyone down including themselves. I'm so glad i have everyone here to help me through this. I don't know what i'd do if not...

agreed... knowing there's other people out there and getting to talk to them makes me feel like less of a freak and more of a person who just has a problem.

I've done this too. Then when I realize what I've done (stayed home to eat), I just eat more. The support here is very helpful - I'm so glad I found this site.

Hi, I saw this topic and it hit home for me. I don't post alot, when I do it's usually on the Depression board. Isolation was a HUGE issue for me, as was my ED. I still struggle with it. The weird thing was I was with people all day and everyone thought I was soooo well adjusted and outgoing. They didn't know what it's like to feel all alone in a room full of people or having the overwhelming need to be by yourself. My ED sprung from that. I ate because I was depressed, ate because I was alone, ate because I needed to do something, ate for every reason but physical hunger. It's a horrible, vicious cycle. I'd gain weight and then be embarrassed to see anyone. The thing is over the years I've yo-yoed and not one of my friends ever dumped me or said anything about it. It had no bearing on my relationships but I made it HUGE in my head.

I was a physical wreck because I was an emotional wreck. I'm learning it's okay to be by yourself to relax and collect yourself, but spending that time eating a large pizza is just a way to block out the thoughts in your head that you may need to deal with other issues. I still lose the battle sometimes, but it's becoming increasingly less frequent and I have hope now that one day it'll be a thing of my past and the woman that everyone sees, WILL be the real me.

I have the social graces of a drunken skunk. It has just been recently that I cringe at how much food I consume when I am out to eat.

I used to meet up with another driver when we were both in Laredo, Texas. We would go to this little chinese place and have lunch. I would easily eat five or seven two story plates. She owld have oen small dainty plate. I thought this is was terribly funny because she tipped the scales at 450 pounds. The last few weeks on the road I found myself not eating as much because I didn't want people to see how much I could eat. I had turned into my friend!

Okay so I doubt this has much to do with the thread but at least you know there is a drunk skunk posting around here if you start smelling something.

actually, in the past, i would do binge-eating and afterwards feel sort of the same way as you do.. Not to mention the haunting GUILT!

I think how i'm conquering it now is that I diet using - zigzag calories, 6 days out of the week...... and I give myself 1 day Per week of having a "PIG OUT DAY" in that case, i feel like i'm still sticking to my diet. And it works! I think it helps my metabolism Not to slow down... hehe. It doesn't make me feel guilty either.


I hope that kind of helps. if not, i'm terribly sorry. I guess everyone works differently.

I know that isolating myself is something I do. I can certainly relate to this. I still do it and I fear that when I move into my first apartment by myself this weekend that I will continue. I guess it is an ongoing struggle but I have to conciously make and keep plans and not stay home to binge. I have definitely been known to stay home and have a plan to eat junk food.

It's an uphill battle but one that a lot of people struggle with. I find I have never once regretted keeping a plan when I have caught myself considering staying home instead to eat. I have always been very happy with the choice to visit a friend or go out or go on a walk or to the gym, whatever. At least I didnt consume a mountain of calories instead! But I have certainly regretted deciding to stay home to eat. I always do. I have to remind myself of that when I consider doing it again!

For me, a lot of rules do not work. I know it works for a lot of people. But i have realized over the years that rules and restrictions just cause a binge later. I try to just eat when I'm hungry and if I'm not hungry but want a treat, I do it conciously and enjoy it. There is nothing worse than wolfing down a treat and not even remembering how great it tasted. I konw for myself I enjoy treats and I dont want to live my life on a diet. I have come to the conclusion that in the end this is better for me but it doesnt work for everyone.

Wow.
I isolate as well to the point of telling my husband to go to functions without me and then I eat alone...usually everything in sight. I've even made myself sick.
I appreciate all the openess here. Hearing your similar experience is so helpful. Also I've lost friends and people I care about over my issues too.