is it such a struggle to stay on a plan? Seriously, every day I start out great and by lunch it's gone to pot.

I know I "need" to lose 40 lbs, but I'd be happy w/ 10 at this point. To some, I'm sure that doesn't sound like a lot, but I just can't do it.

For example, tonight I had wonderful Talpia and broccoli for dinner. Then I finished it off w/half a piece of my kids pizza and a piece of fudge. My food tasted better, but I was out of it, so I turned to the junk.

I "know" what I need to do. I could probably write my own diet book. I know more about proper eating than I ever cared to... yet I can't find a why to stick to it.

Why am I weak? Why do I falter so easily? Ah, so many whys....

So many people can relate to you - I know I can! Between work and kids and life - eating well is the main battle. You might be like me, a stress eater - that is how I end up eating my boys' foods so often. I am just writing to let you know that you are not alone - let me know if you figure out the defining factor that makes a person stick to a new way of eating for life. I certainly haven't even discovered how to stick to a new eating plan for a week without a slip up!

We have all been there. I was there for 20 years in fact. Every day I would start out all gung ho and with the best intentions and by the time dinner rolled around, often much earlier, it was all out the window.

I guess for me it was finally getting tired ENOUGH of all the extra weight. As much as I loved the food and as hard as it was to do without it - it just didn't matter anymore. THat's how badly I wanted to be thin. The pain of being overweight has to outweigh the pleasure of the food.

It's tough. It's definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to do and continue to do. It's also been one of the most rewarding.

Okay - just an idea. Fish and broccoli is tasty but not super duper filling. A carb serving (baked sweet potato, quinoa, brown rice, whole wheat couscous) to accompany your meal might satisfy you a little more so your body isn't still restlessly searching for something to satisfy it.

Plan a healthy treat for after dinner, so you aren't tempted by pizza/fudge. You said you ran out of food - why? For me, planning is EVERYTHING, I have healthy food on hand, all the time.

And to be the hardass I am - why are you giving your kids pizza, why is there fudge in the house? Completely "dejunking" the house is key and pizza is an okay treat, but I don't think it should be standard meal fare for anyone, no matter the age (but like I said, I'm a hardass who doesn't have kids).

Why is your diet blown by lunch? Is your planned lunch so boring you can't stand the thought of eating it? Are you so hungry that you make bad food decisions because you start off with a skimpy breakfast and don't eat a snack? Do your friends/coworkers go out to tasty places and they want you to go along? Are you bored, do you nibble?

It might be useful for you to keep a food diary for a week or so to understand not only WHAT you eat, but WHY you eat.

For example, Ate fudge because I was still hungry and it was there.

That seems easy enough to fix - plan a snack so you aren't still hungry and don't have any fudge around.

I never stuck to anything I didn't like because I got bored and felt deprived and felt like I "deserved" to eat tastier food. My body was unable to stick to foods that didn't satisfy all the nutrition it craved. It is literally AMAZING how much easier it is to eat whole foods - it's like my body is finally HAPPY and has stopped the endless, restless foraging that was my life for so many years. Opening refrigerators, cupboards, restlessly eating. I don't do that anymore and it's a miracle.

I chalk it up to the body wants what it wants. When I didn't give it 5+ servings of vegetables, lean protein, fruits, healthy fats, complex carbohydrates - it wanted that nutrition, leading me to eat restlessly and helplessly. Now that I give it what it wants (and cut out nearly all processed sugars) I am at peace.

Losing weight is simple (eat whole foods, count calories, watch portions) yet difficult (can't eat healthy by accident, have to go to the grocery store a billion time a week, have to cook, other people think you are a weirdo, have to pack lunches, have to turn down invites to certain restaurants, have to turn down cupcakes, have to avoid fast food, have to avoid most of the eating conveniences that most people take for granted).

You can do it and you will when you are ready.

ah yes, sounds very familiar. i just think before i do anything rash "if i eat this, then tomorrow and after i eat it, i will regret it" and so i resist and then i am glad that i have done this at a later stage... it gets much easier tho...the less you eat the things you want and that are bad for you, the less you want them really...all for the greater good

Glory, you are right. I need a hardass to set me straight. I should have made some whole grain rice to complete my meal, and I'm not sure why I didn't. It would have solved my issue, no doubt.

As for why my kids are eating pizza... well, my husband brought home leftovers, and they wanted it. I'm the only person in the house overweight. My daughter and husband are average, and my son is so thin he needs the fat!

Thanks to all for your responses.

Ladies ~ thanks for posting this question and giving your very honest answers. As many others do, I have struggles with these same questions. I just discovered that I was suffering from a huge vitamin & mineral deficiency; my hair had fallen out and some stayed out for 24 years until just recently upped my vitamins and all my thick hair grew back in.

GLORY ~ you are sooooooooooo right; she grabbed for the pizza becuz the meal wasn't balanced; her body was craving a carb; and the pizza was handy. The kiddies should have been having the fish and broccoli too with a nice serving of rice or other family favorite. Make what your family likes, but in moderation ie how about nice, new potatoes with the skins on?

As for the FUDGE; it isn't allowed in my house every again; there are so many desserts that you can make that are yummy without being PURE SUGAR! For instance, skim milk pudding, apple crisp, jello (with light topping), angel food cake with lemon sauce or topping, no-crust pumpkin pie, or one-crust pie like lemon, etc. We have this on Sunday nights; and I make small ones whenever I bake, esp for birthdays.

My plan is called THE SIMPLE PLAN ~ a healthy breakfast; a sensible lunch; and a light dinner. Add a nice light dessert 1-2 times a week; and some very healthy snacks to keep hunger at bay and you might find it easier.

I DON'T THINK OUR BODIES WANT TO BE FAT; THEY WANT TO BE FED! If you starve yourself, your body will fight back with cravings; and you will give in, cuz the unhealthy stuff is there. This is one of the hardest lessons to learn for healthy eating ~ to go shopping in the store and by-pass all the junk foods which permeates our grocery stores today.

When I was younger, I worked in a large grocery store; there were not all these rows of junk foods, baked goodies, and pop. They were the smallest sections, if even there at all; in ethnic grocery stores (ie Italian), you could barely find junk foods except for maybe a little candy for the kiddies.

Now I walk around the outside perimeters of the store to get more exercise and to avoid the junk food rows. Stick to veggies & fruits section, the meats & fish, dairy, good fats (like olive oil), and some frozen stuff (like fruit & veggies in off seasons).

Don't be sooo hard on yourself; many of us have done the same thing. I think we are eating from stress, emotions, boredom, and hunger; yes, hunger; not getting the nutrients our bodies really need; I sooo agree with GLORY on that point.

Even the US government is taking a second look right now, at the nutrient values of food again; cuz there is a suspicion of vitamin and mineral depletion, becuz of mass production.

I really think that thousands of us have dieted ourselves into obesity; we now need to relearn how to eat healthy & balanced amounts of good, whole foods; plus get some exercise on a regular basis (just walking will do).

You are fortunate that you only have 40 lbs to work on ~ look at me; so, start with ten. That's my new strategy a friend suggested recently; ten lbs isn't so daunting. And be honest with yourself; eat what foods you really like to eat; not the ones you think others think that you should be eating; that was huge for me!

Hope this is helpful to you in some way; I know this post is very helpful to me, so thanx again! ROSEBUD

I have kids too. When I began my journey I completely emptied my house of any and all junk. My kids, 3 teenagers are all a healthy, normal weight. But I realized that the junk wasn't doing any one, any good. I was doing them no favors by serving fried foods, white rice and pasta constantly. My kids have come to love all the fresh fruits and veggies I serve. They love snacking on blueberries and grapes. They simply adore roasted green beans, acorn squash, sauteed spinach and all the other veggies I make. They love the grilled chicken. The salmon. I only wish I would have done this years and years earlier. I think they would have benefited greatly by it. Please don't feel guilty by elminating the junk from your home and ADDING in healthy foods. It's the best thing you can do for them.

Just want to clarify something here. Yes, my kids had pizza "tonight." This is NOT the issue. The issue is ME. My kids eat fine. They have healthy and unhealthy meals. They are both under 5 years old, so to get them to eat at all is a struggle some days. I provide them w/fruits and veggies. I guess I just felt like I was being judged on how to feed my family, and that is NOT the issue.

Me, my eating habits are what need improvements. My kids had grapes and peaches today... me... I had a handful of grapes and fudge. So, no worries, my kids are getting what they need.

DEAR LUVVY ~

I think that you have misunderstood us! So, I have just one question for you ... Who is in charge of what foods are brought into your home and what foods are served at mealtimes?

I am in charge on what comes into my home, so to speak. I do the shopping.

I guess my original post didn't come off as it should have. When I said I ran out of food, I meant, I ate my fish and there was no more. I didn't mean I literally ran out of food in my house. Yes, there were healthier choices to be made. I could have grabbed an apple or banana, but I didn't. Instead I chose to finish off a piece of fudge I had just purchased while on vacation two days ago. Honestly, I just should of had a whole grain at dinner, but I didn't. If I had, I wouldn't have been hungry.

I am not going to purge my home of all unhealthy foods, because my family eats them in moderation, and they are all perfectly fine for their ages. There are plenty of healthy choices, I guess my problem is, I don't make those choices.

That's why I came here... asking "why" outloud. Why don't "I" make better choices? Why do "I" find it so hard to diet? I've done WW and JC before. I am well educated on weight loss, but for some reason, I struggle with it. I don't understand how I can be unhappy w/my weight, yet at the same time, do nothing to fix it.

I go out to lunch twice a week. Sometimes I have a nice salad and soup. Other times, I'm scarfing down a huge sandwich w/way too much crap on it. My will power is very low. I think my problem is I no longer "see" myself. I don't look in mirrors and I try my best to stay out of pictures. When I do look in the mirror, I tend to have "skinny eyes". I look for my better features, and tend to not "see" my muffin top.

Heh, I've always thought that dieting would be easier if I had to eat everything naked in front of a mirror

I hear you about the asking "why" even after all this time I sometimes eat things that make me think "just what was THAT all about." Best thing to do is think about why you did it (which you did), think about how you could do it differently/better in the future (which you did) and just keep trucking. Every chance to eat is another opportunity to make a better/healthier choice.

Hey there!

I agree, luvthelighthouse--your post was not about your kids' nutrition. Still, I know that it was very hard for me initially to pass on certain foods if they were in the house and I wanted to eat something. I think that would be a reason to keep them out of the house.

In my view, it's not a matter of testing one's "willpower," it's a matter of losing weight, by whatever means are possible and healthy. So, initially I had to get certain foods out of the house. Corn chips of any kind. Ice cream (which still isn't allowed back in). And other such things that I found irresistible. Now that I have been on my food program for some time, some of those foods can be in the house again, and I am not so obsessive/compulsive about them. My tastes and desires have changed.

It's not a matter of intelligence, either--I'm pretty intelligent, but I got fat anyway! I've had to "outsmart" myself to make it work. I'd say--if you can't pass up that big sandwich at lunch, don't go to that shop! Bring your own lunch, or go somewhere that you can make better choices. Over time this will get easier for you, I promise.

Jay

No need to worry. I promise you I wasn't judging you in the least. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I did find it easier in the beginning though to rid the house of ALL foods that I overeat and I felt no guilt about it. Number one, I felt that in the end they could live without it and number 2, Mom needs to be happy and healthy. Cause if Mom (that would be ME) is healthy and happy, then I am much better equipped to handle and care for my family.

Me, I can't have ice cream in the house. I would eat the whole thing. It's ME that has a problem with portion control. There's nothing wrong with having an occasional scoop of ice cream. The kids wouldn't eat the whole thing, so why not have it in the house? Ummm, because I live in the house. Same thing goes with many, MANY foods. THEY don't have portion control issues - I do. They DO eat pizza and yes french fries and hamburgers and cookies. In moderation of course. They're not overweight. I was.