Hi all,

Merry Christams to you all and a big SIGH I survived it...lol I can laugh now but I can say that in some ways the hustle and bustle of the holiday season stressed me out a bit - I had a panic attack at the checkout at the supermarket - it only lasted a few seconds but it seemed longer than that and it reminded me of just how ugly these damn attacks are! ugggghhh!!!!!

I must say though that I hadn't slept well the night before that attack and I had been pretty stressed out then - the urgency to get things done before Christmas - the mad rush and the stress that everyone felt didn't help.

In fact I've not been sleeping well at all - it takes me ages to get to sleep especially if it is the night before a major event I can't seem to relax - usually I have no trouble sleeping at all.

I have also gone backwards in some other areas that I had managed to conquer - eg: I can't drive over bridges or on freeways especially where there is nowehere I can pull over in case of a panic attack - sounds crazy I know but this has started happening again, so I am restricted in what I want to do...but I still push myself to do new things everyday - I don't want the anxiety to take over my life!

I find though that exercising has helped a lot - it gets rid of all the excess adrenaline produced by the anxiety.

Thankyou all for your good wishes - I really appreciate your support.

welcome cassie99

Take care,
MyGirl

Good morning all,

MyGirl, I am sorry to hear about your anxiety coming back. You will conquer it again. I have also had a few less than good days. I guess I just let myself get too worked up over the holidays and everything that goes with them. I also am thinking about going to school so I can get a job rather than retail. Not sure about that, I am undecided about going to be a manicurist or else more medical training for billing. I do enjoy the nail thing (I have had acrylics for 12 years) ! But would I like working on other people? On the other hand there is more stability in the medical office but more pressure. I just feel now that my kids are older and don't need my constant attention I have too much time on my hands. I have been having a lot of anxiety over this indecision. I have such a hard time making a decision, do you have that also? One minute I am totally decided to do one thing then an hour later I am sure I don't want to do that at all. The big problem is I HATE change. Wonder why I am so stressed?? It must be a side effect of the anxiety. Thanks for the new thread, I can't believe we are on #5, wow!

Jennifa, thanks for the info on mental health. These things have a way of getting passed without our knowledge and then we are left with the results. Mental health is so important, I can't believe they would even consider doing that.

Well, one more holiday and we should get back to normal. My eating has been less than perfect, but I know from past experiences if I don't indulge a little I get the poor me thing going on then I really blow it. I have only been walking 4-5 days a week because of the snow we now have. We don't have sidewalks and when the roads get icy it is too dangerous to dodge the cars!

Have a peaceful and calm day.
Daytona

Hi MyGirl and Daytona,

Just have a moment, but I wanted to clarify on the parity issue:

Insurance companies were required to cover treatments until October 2001. The Act expired on the first. The parity they are trying to pass is FULL parity which means that treatment for mental health would be covered same as any illness. But the House killed the bill ( I think it's HR3061) but they did approve another extension for the Act's benefits for one year.

The whole thing REALLY gets me ticked - instead of helping people like we PAY them to do, the insurance companies want to exclude treatments for valid illnesses so they can save MONEY. Um.. excuse me, but the customer is paying for this... it's not like it's free.... and sadly, many people will die because of this. Die? Yes, die. Many mental health problems result in suicide if they go untreated. And if the insurance companies won't cover it, people won't go for treatment. Not to mention how all of this is adding to the stigma of these illnesses...

Ok I have to stop now or I will REALLY get on a rant. But hopefully this news will inspire anybody reading to make a new year's resolution to be an advocate for mental health and help us all get this coverage that is so desperately needed and unfairly denied.

Good health and peace to you all in 2002.

Hi all. My Girl and Daytona, sorry to hear you are battling the anxiety again. Praying that things will get better for the both of you.

Jennifa, Thanks for the news on the insurance. I have my sister checking into it too. She owns a TPA and has a lot of information on this. TPA is Third Party Administrator of health insurance. As she also suffers from panic disorder, she will find this interesting. Once I'm of better mind, I'll contact my congressman. He is normally very good. I'd like to see where he stands on this.
I know that my company recognizes only part of it. We are allowed to be off a total of 24 months (not all at one time) over the course of our career with the company. Anything more than that and you get terminated. That sounds like a lot of time but really it's not when you think of how long someone is employed.
I just missed 7 months this year.....

I seemed to make it through Christmas okay. Am still battling the panic. Not too mention the depression. That seems to be worse. Just trying to take one day at a time. It just seems so hard right now. At least I'm on vacation this week. Will give me time to work on it. Finding it hard to even get up in the morning. Then again, finding it hard to sleep too. At least I can quit pretending now that Christmas is over and my family obligations are done. I have a terrific support staff (family and friends) but right now, I just want to be alone. Maybe I can work through some of this.

Ladies, just try to remember that we got through this before, we will again.

Hi everyone,
just a note to say thankyou so much for your words of encouragement - they mean so much to me.

Cassie99 - I hope you are doing ok, how was your Christmas? I know that sometimes even talking about the anxiety and panic attacks makes me feel queazy, weak and positively sick....ugghh!
The good news though is that anxiety is treatable and I know that at times I question this myself - it's important to just take one day at a time - yes I know it sounds cliched but how true it is!
All the best for a happy and healthy New Year to you in 2002

Janney - how true it is your kind words "we got thru this before and we will again" this helped me stay at the mall the other day longer than I had planned - I was ready to run out of there but I fought it and stayed eventhough it felt awfully uncomfortable.
I can relate to just wanting to be alone at times - we all need time out whether we have anxiety or not.

Daytona - well looks like the holiday stress got the better of both us, don't you just hate when it creeps on you out of the blue? I am glad that Christmas is over and we can get back to normal (whatever that is...lol) it's too much pressure dealing with holidays AND the anxiety. I think that going back to school is a great idea - anything to take the attention away from the anxiety is great, better still, you will be doing something for yourself and that has to be rewarding - let us know what you decide. I
I like acrylics but alas, I only had mine for 6 months - I kept breaking them - clumsy me. Why don't you try the manicurist training - let us know what you decide - personally I have had some of the best conversations while at the manicurist better than therapy - lol. No problem about the new thread - I can't believe we are on #5 either! it's been a big help to me throughout the year - whether I just need to vent, give or take heed of advice.

Jennifa - thankyou so much for the Insurance information. Good health to you too in 2002 - I will certainly do my bit to be an advocate for mental health it's amazing how many people I have met who suffer from anxiety yet keep it quiet for fear of being stigmatized as having a mental "disorder" - let's help the public keep an open mind about mental health afterall it affects just about everyone at some stage of their life. Good health to you too in 2002!

Let's have a peaceful. healthy and progressive 2002, in my view I think we are all on the way to better health - recognizing a problem and then actaully doing something about it be it talking about it or therapy is half the battle won already!

I am thankful to all of you ladies.

MyGirl

Hope you all have great health and happiness this year!

MyGirl, Daytona, Janney - how are you doing now that the holidays are done? Please don't beat yourselves up very much - we all slipped over the holidays. We had a bit more to cope with, and as long as we are still here, I consider that a victory.

Cassie 99, where are you? Hope you are doing well. Happy New Year to you, too.

I'm hanging in there, it's a good thing I have an iron resolve to exercise or I'd be huge by now. Right now I have those pre-TOM annoying cravings going on. Grr. So tonight I will have a big salad for dinner.

The good news is I know my plan is actually working. I did the math and found I have been losing at a rate of about 3.4 pounds per week. I am very happy about that. I know that it will get less as I get closer to goal, and I am allowing for that in my short term goals.

So let's try to do this for ourselves, and when things are really bad, we know that we have our plans to make life that much better.

Happy New Year everyone,

MyGirl, thanks for the encouragement on going back to school. I still havn't made up my mind. I have tried the pro's and con's list and a million other things to try and decide. Part of the problem is I don't have to work (thank God) but I have spendn't the past 28 years rasing a family (my youngest is almost 18) and now I have so much extra time I just feel I need to do something. Maybe it's guilt for not having to work? When I went to counseling she told me I had far to much guilt for no good reasons. Doesn't change how you feel though.

Jennifa, what type of plan are you following? You are doing fantastic losing that much weight in a week!! Tell us your secret. I am very glad the holidays are over so we can get back into a normal routine. It will be much easier without all the extra food sitting around along with the crazy relatives LOL. I am taking your advice and trying not to beat myself up to much.

How are you doing Janney and Cassie99? Let us know how things are going for you. How about you Gobbie? Well, thanks for letting me vent on the decision making thing and I wish us all a very calm New Year.

Daytona

Hi Daytona,

It helps me a lot to have a lot of things going at once - I feel more grounded with myself if I'm in hurricane mode! I am using Deepak Chopra's book Perfect Weight (there is a thread under Diet Plans if you are interested) to lose weight. Basically I drink a lot of hot water, don't eat processed foods, and eat my main meal in the middle of the day. I only eat when I am hungry and I can skip breakfast or have a light snack instead of dinner if I just don't feel like eating very much. It is a different way of approaching, and I use WW a bit in it too, but WW MAKES you eat your points every day; Chopra gives you the guidelines and says your body should be the indicator of when and how much you eat, not the points. I am also working out about 2 hours per day. I am sure that helps a lot, and it also helps the anxiety and depression.

MyGirl, Janney, Cassie 99, how are you doing? Hope you are not here because you are off on a fabulous beach with several massueurs, just melting the stress away...

I am really struggling right now and I want to say that I appreciate you ladies so much.

Hello and Happy New Year to all. Let's pray for a more peaceful year this year.

Daytona, Do what you think is best for you. School can be a very good thing. This is something you have to do for you. Not out of guilt; but out of shelf achievement. I know I get it from my therapist allot for feeling guilty about everything in my life. Hence, allot of the panic and depression.....You are right, it doesn't matter what you're told and logically you know it's true but it's still the way you feel.. I guess that's when prayer (if you believe) comes in handy. I'll pray for you to do what's best for you and makes you happy and at peace!!!!

Jennifa, Great on the weight loss. Mostly the exercising. That is wonderful. I'll have to check out that Deepak diet. I'm on insulin so I'm not sure. Sorry to hear that you are battling the panic again though I'll pray for your peace again. I know what you mean about keeping busy. I have found success with that too at times.

Mygirl, Cassie99, where are you? Hope all is well.

I haven't been posting as much because of the depression. The panic is back too but not as bad as the depression It's like this vail of darkness. You know like in the movies when that dark shadow comes in before something awful happens. Just trying to work through it. I put in allot of hours at work and I don't think that's helping. But don't really have a choice. Keeping up the pretense of everything being okay gets tougher and tougher. Thank God for you. Don't know what I'd do. Feel at least I have a way to talk some of this out, without scaring the **** out of my family and friends. Not that you aren't my family and friends, God knows that that isn't the case but you know what I mean. Better go now before this gets too bad.


Love ya all. Find your peace and calm. Be happy. I'll keep praying for all of us. You are a bunch of

Jan

Hi everyone,

Things are finally calming down around here. It gets so crazy when everyone is on different schedules due to the holidays. I been doing a lot better with my eating. Now I just have to get my exercise in place LOL. I put things off longer than anyone I know.

Janney, good to hear from you, I wish you good feelings and better moods. It is so hard when you just can't get past depressive feelings. I have also suffered from depression and it seems to take over your whole life. Working probably helps in the respect it forces you to look past the moods. Maybe you could cut back on the hours a little so the stress isn't so bad? Try and read other peoples success stories you know how they tell how they were depressed then got over it. That helped me a lot. You always have us and you know we all understand how bad it gets! You will feel better, look forward to spring and nicer weather. Have you gone back to the Dr yet? I am still mulling over the school thing, I just can't make a decision about anything. In a way I think if I really wanted to do the school thing I would feel more sure of it, but that could just be my anxiety getting the better of me. I don't want to leave my comfort zone LOL. If I don't leave it soon I may never do anything at all there comes a time when you just have to push yourself into new things!

Jennifa, I am going to check out that book tonight. When my husband gets home we are going to Barnes and Nobel so it will be the perfect time to look it over. You are doing so good, keep it up. Where do you find time to exercise for 2 hours in a day? Do you get up real early?

I got an email today that gave me a chuckle, I will pass it on to all of you:

INNER PEACE
I think I have found inner peace, I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things you started
today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine and a small box of chocolate candy.
I feel better already!
Pass this along to those who need Inner Peace.

Boy can I relate! Hi MyGirl we miss you, must be busy exercising?
Have a calm and peaceful day.
Daytona

Hey all,

Daytona, you made me laugh out loud! That is too perfect!

Janney, thank you for your kind words. Please keep posting here. A friend of mine once told me to stop worrying so much, it's all chemicals in your brain anyway. Which really put things in perspective for me. In a way, that could be said for everything. Anyway, we are here for you! {{{{hugs}}}}}

MyGirl, I admire you for exercising so much and not posting. Good for you. But do check in when you catch your breath!

Where do I find time to exercise? I think it's the time I spent beating myself up and agonizing over how fat I look in the mirror! Really, I do get up earlier and do weights and ball exercises, then I ride the bike after dinner and do a bit of weights then too. I just got a new fitness magazine and I'm going to start doing some of the exercises in there, plus I walked a long walk yesterday and I'm going to yoga today. Oops, gotta run!

AND STAY ON PROGRAM!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!! You'll love yourself for it!

Hi everyone,
these days I am doing a lot better especially now that Christmas and New Year's is over - back to some kind of normal existence (whatever that is)

I saw my Doc last week and explained how uneasy I felt during the festive season and in the lead up to it...and even since then I have had a considerable amount of discomfort which is not so good, he said that it was important to keep getting out everyday even if I feel a degree of discomfort otherwise I let the anxiety get the better of me and I let it start to take over.

I am also having problems sleeping at night despite feeling so tired I can't get to sleep - and that is so unlike me!

I have not been exercising this past week have been a bit lazy in that department - I need to get that happening again asap! It's a great de-stressor uses up all excess adrenaline...I got the theory right now just need to get the practise happening...

Hello all,

Well, here we are, ready to start another week. How are you all doing? I hope you have salvaged your WOE and are getting back in the swing of things. I had a lapse in exercise due to severe attitude problems but I am getting back into it today and feeling good about it. I think we lost a few posts during the 3FC outage last week, but please post in again and let us know how you are doing.

Take care,

Jennifa
216/200.5/170

Hi everyone,

I guess we did lose a few posts. Of course I can't remember what I wrote so on to new things! I finally joined a gym called Curves for women, it is a 30 minute workout. There is a series of resistance machines and inbetween each machine is a platform (recovery board) you jog in place on. You work on the machine for 30 seconds then go to a recovery board for 30 seconds and continue the cycle till you do the circuit 3 times. It seems to be pretty intense. Funny how you think walking keeps you in shape but you sure find out different once you try strength workouts! I hope doing this tones and firms me up. They recomend 3 times a week.

Jennifa, I did check out that book and I don't think it is the diet plan for me. The hot water and the no fast food would do me in LOL. I pretty much follow w/w but not to a tee. Glad to hear your attitude is back on track. There are days that I can't stand myself let alone do anything good for me.

MyGirl, how ya doing? Still exercising a lot? I can't believe it is the middle of Jan already. Soon we will be thinking about warm weather.

Janney, I been thinking about you, keep us posted on how you are doing. My 20 year old daughter has just been diagnoised (SP) with ocd, they put her on something that starts with a cel, I think. Please forgive my spelling, it is sure not my best suit. I would love a spell check on here!

Have a good day,

Daytona

Hi all,

Wow, you must be living anxiety free to not be posting, so I don't feel so bad!!!

Daytona, sorry to hear about your daughter's diagnosis. Do you think this thread might help her? She's probably on Celexa, an SSRI. They can help a lot with anxiety disorders. Sounds like your new gym is pretty cool! And kicking your butt. I'm glad you like it. THat's key to any exercise program, you have to enjoy it. Mine... well, I am struggling, I miss my evening bike rides so much and the indoor workouts just don't do it for me. But I do have the motivation, so that's keeping me in check. The Chopra plan is really geared toward people who are ready to give up fast food and processed foods - a lot of it is about how much energy is in the foods, and the more it's been processed, the less energy is in it. So I can see how it isn't the plan for everyone. I struggle with it sometimes, but overall I think it fits with my philosophy of dieting.

Now that I've written a book I think it's time for others to post....