.

Honey....I am not even going to give you advice on this. You have to do what you have to do. The only thing I can tell you is....you are going to hear alot of flack about this from the lovely ladies of this board. I love this board, couldn't live without it...but they do tend to get very upset if they think that in order for you to win some guys heart is by losing weight...well...they don't like that. A post I made about a bet with my boyfriend about him continueing to pay for my gym membership, they totally misunderstood and almost cruicified my poor boyfriend. lol. So, just understand that it's not personal, they only want the best for each of us. But I know that you have to do what makes you happy and I am certainly not going to cruicify the guy you like or you.

Good luck in whatever decision you make!!!

Once upon a time, my best friend was intimate with my brother, and kept it secret. I was initially offended that they didn't tell me, but I also understand their reasons for keeping it secret. In the end, they dated for a year, broke up, and both went on their merry ways. I still talk to my brother, and I'm still best friends with the best friend. The brother and best friend are NOT on bad terms with each other now, either. It might be unpleasant at first, but it shouldn't be a dealbreaker for friendship.

And yes, I have to comment about someone who will love you only if you're a little thinner. Perhaps it's his age - I don't know how old he is - but you don't want a long-term love to be contingent upon weight.

What the heck does his sister have to do with it.? If he likes you and you like him ,it shouldn't matter what his sister thinks.

Hes 24!! Last night he told me I look different and pretty. The last time he saw me was when I was 215. I know that you shouldnt have to lose weight to find someone. But its just showing me that some people are shallow and its eaier to find someone when your not overweight.

How old are you?

Ill be 20 in sep.

Wow. You might want to put off dating, (that's a lot like "messes" but with more clothing), until the maturity fairy pays a visit to your house.

Im sorry, I dont understand what you just sayed..

Just my 2 cents here...

Sounds to me like you're doing a lot of things to be distracted from your weight loss program...

Maybe that should be your main priority right now.

The whole situation sounds a little questionable to me. I'm skeptical about this guy and his motives.

Jay

my lil 2 cents for what its worth.
**** men and women can have a shallow streak and it doesn't suprise me that a 24 year old male said something of that nature. i think sometimes on 3fc we get a lil blinded about physical attraction and get a lil to righteous about love some one only for who they are on the inside. if that was all true half of us wouldn't be here trying to lose weight, sorry just being honest. if u want to be with this man, then be with him. u may be young but tomorrow is not promised to anyone. i believe in living for a moment and if u are lucky that wonderful moment may become a life time. not telling u to be careless, but if u aren't hurting anyone and u felt like a princess in that mans arms, no one can tell u not to enjoy it. life is about experiences, without them, good or bad, you are not living, only exsisting.
hope it works out for u.

Thank you so much. Just reading that made me tear up.
Ive never have had a serious relationship, but Ive had a couple of guys hear and there, but none of them have ever made me feel like how I felt laying in his arms. I had no cares in the world.

Perhaps you are different and prettier to him now because you've GAINED confidence as a result of your weightloss. I believe confidence makes a lot of difference. But I don't know him, and you would be the best one to make that judgement call. If you like him go for it, if the aggervation isn't going to be worth the results, why bother.

I'm so glad it helped and i know how u feel. the first time i felt safe and secure and precious in a mans arms was one of the happiest times in my life. enjoy it baby girl and if it doesn't last forever at least u will know just what u want the next time around.
take care

If it were so much easier to find someone when you're not overweight, then why do a lot of overweight people have someone and a lot of non-overweight people don't? It's no harder or easier. It is what it is. But its up to you what kind of someone you want to find. One that cares for YOU, or one that cares for arm candy. If someone doesn't want someone overweight, what will they do with you when you're old and wrinkled?

I'm not saying that's what this guy is looking for. You should know the answer to that one yourself. But I will GUARANTEE you that if you try to lose weight for anyone other than yourself, its been shown over and over that you will likely fail. You need to want to lose for you, not for some guy.