Okay.. I'm going to admit something. It's been weighing heavily on my mind ever since I started gaining weight and especially now since I've been working harder than ever to lose. Is there anybody else that is scared to death they'll lose all their weight and then gain it all back? Because I sure am. I grew up watching quite a few of my family members lose the same 50 to 100 or MORE pounds all my life. It was mostly my dad's side of the family and my dad himself he would lose the same 30-50 pounds every couple years. My dad's struggle was VERY mild compared to the rest of his family members. I've talked to my husband about this and he can understand some of my concerns since his mom was obese and died from a leak due to faulty gastric bypass surgery and he heard her talk about these same things about how you don't feel good, your back hurts and etc. My mom is really pushing for me to find a doctor and get a consultation done for the lap-band and get it due to the fact that my dad's side of the family they are all obese and the medical history just on that side of my family is pretty bad and scary and they struggle and gain all their weight back all the time. She's stressing me out too about it and scaring me to death and then I get depressed. But needless to say I really wanna try to lose it by myself without surgery of any kind. I do not think that having weight loss surgery is the "easy" way out. It really irritates me when someone raves about how somebody lost it all by "themselves" without any kind of surgery since I've seen how some of my family members struggle in the quality of life they have. So I have been wondering what are some of the things everybody has done to remind themselves not to ever let themselves go back to the way they were? I've thought of taking pictures of myself only in a sports bra and underwear. I've even already put a skinny picture of me that I absolutely adore and my hubby's in it too up on my fridge and it has helped. I've heard of people keeping one pair of pants in the closet to remind themselves. Sorry this was long but I just had to vent as well. Suggestions? And anybody have any advice on how to handle my mom's tendency to be neurotic?

Heck, no, I am not afraid. Once I get back down to where I want to be, I will make damn sure I follow my aunt's advice (like I did before my last pregnancy)- weigh yourself EVERY day, and as soon as you hit 5 pounds over your goal weight, cut down the calories a bit until you get it all off (not starving now, just shave a few off).

No way I am putting all this time, work, and effort for me to fail. I've had enough of being heavy, and once I am down to where I need to be, I plan on staying there for life.

Forget about your fears, and enjoy your journey.

Steelslady.. Thanks for the no nonsense advice! :-) I was thinking about the idea of going over my goal weight only by 5 pounds and then that would be a signal to get back on track. Good to know that my thinking is similar to somebody else's.

I've been at goal for more than five years and I'm still afraid of gaining the weight back. What're more, I never want to lose that fear -- I always want to be afraid. In my case, I think that the fear of becoming one of the 95% who gain weight back keeps me on the straight and narrow.

The strategy of drawing a line five pounds above goal that you won't cross is an excellent one! You might want to check out the discussions of Anne Fletcher's Thin For Life in the Maintenance Library. It's broken down into ten Keys to Success for keeping weight off long-term. Having a weight range is discussed and there are lots of other good ideas that you might find useful. I'm so glad you're both thinking about maintenance now!

Ahhh. I say "Be afraid - be very, very afraid."

I'm terrified of gaining it all back. Simply terrified. Which I am going to use to my advantage. I'm hoping that fear will always keep me within 5 lbs of my goal weight. Although I don't like the feeling of that fear, I never, ever want to be without it.

I took a couple of "before" pictures when I first started my journey. It's very hard for me to look at them now. I see this sad woman who wasn't enjoying life - at all. All the misery that I was experiencing is so evident to me in them. I always want to remember that woman. So that picture will stay around with me.

I've gotten rid of all of my former wardrobe except for a couple of pieces. I put them on every now and then to see how far I have come. It brings me to tears. They are scary big on me. But it's an incredible reminder of just how heavy I was. I will always save them. They remind me of where I came from - and where I never want to go again.

When I started my journey I began a very simple journal. I wrote in there all the reasons why I wanted to lose the weight. It really helped me to stay on track, especially in the early days when I was just getting used to the new lifestlye. It kept me from eating when I wanted to eat, just .... because. I still turn to it every now and then. I've added to it since the beginning. I even put in there some of the very motivational compliments I've recieved. I also keep in there my weekly weigh-ins. I will hold on to this precious book forever and always refer to it.

Prior to my weightloss journey I didn't weigh myself for close to 15 years. Yes, I knew I was morbidly obese, but nevertheless had I just been in the habit of weighing myself every single day, it might not have gotten SO out of hand. So yes, I will weigh myself every single day for the rest of my life. It's a reminder of what's going on with my body. It's a reality check every morning. It helps to keep me intune to what's going on.

I also plan to count or at least "estimate" my calories forever and ever. It's my way of portion control and it's worth the effort.

I have found food that I truly, truly love to eat. Tasty, low cal and nutritious. Though sometimes it is a struggle to stay on plan, my plan is pretty darn good and really not all THAT difficult to stick with.

I've put some very good habits in place. Lifetime habits. Planning out my food ahead of time, keeping the house stocked with healthy foods, the weighing and exercise just to mention a few.

History - we learn about it and relearn about it so as to not repeat the past horrors. I need to always remember my past history. The absolute horrors that I experienced as a morbidly obese woman.

These are some of the things I plan to use to keep me within that 5 lb range for the rest of my born days.

I am not anywhere near my goal and I am afraid! Not so afraid that I am not going to keep going tho! I agree with the weighing daily and not letting it go above 5 lbs your goal weight.

OK...I have to ask. Why does your Mom want you to look into Lapband surgery? Yes, you have weight to lose, but I thought that type of surgery you needed to be 100+ lbs overweight. Surgery in general frightens me, because even with the simplest procedure there are risks involved. Know what I mean?

You are losing on your own. See where it takes you and enjoy your life along the way. Good Luck!

Ohhhhh gosh yes.

I was 160lbs+ when I was 12 years old, and although I havn't been overweight now since I was 14, I'm very scared that one day I'll be the chunky one again, especially since I've had experience of being 112lbs or whatever and enjoyed being dubbed "the thin one".

emily
xxx

Gosh, I've lost and regained a few times in my life. Seems like in the past few years it was the same 15 pounds over and over.

The reason I regained, I now know, is that when I was "finished" losing the weight, I thought it was OK to go back to the way I had been eating before the "diet."

It didn't occur to me that the way I was eating was responsible for the weight gain.

This seems so obvious, I wonder how I missed it!

So, I'd say the best way to approach weight loss is to realize you're making a life change. You can't go back to the bad eating habits you had before--whether it was junk food, sugar, large portions of "healthy" food, whatever!

You can maintain your weight once you get there. You don't HAVE to gain it back!

Jay

I'm scared of gaining it all back too. Terrified! But, like the others, plan to use that fear to my advantage!

You may want to check out the maintainer's forum. It's not just for people who are currently maintaining, but for those who want to BE maintainers in the future. Lots of good info and insights there.

Yes, I am terrified, especially since one of the main reasons I'm losing weight/getting in shape is so that I can get pregnant and have an easier pregnancy. Well, we all know that with pregnancy comes weight gain, so yes, I'm terrified. I'll admit, a part of me wonders "why even bother?", though I know that pregnancy will be so much easier if I'm in shape rather than where I'm at right now. I worry that with kids and stuff, I'll forget about myself and not care about whatever I put in my mouth.

One thing that I realized last night is that I STILL view dieting as this "no-no" period, where you give up all the things you love until you reach your goal. I honestly find myself thinking "when I get to goal weight, I'll be able to eat ice cream and pizza again and not worry about it." Um, no. I was not blessed with a high metabolism like my husband and I just can't eat whatever I want just because I weigh less.

It's not a change for a period of time, but rather a change for the rest of your life. So yes, I worry that I won't have it in me to change for the rest of my life.

It took me multiple attempts to quit smoking, so why shouldn't it take me a few times to "get it" about weight maintenance? That thought makes me feel better.

There is a great discussion of Thin for Life in the maintenance forum. Ultimately, I bought both books and have been reading from them frequently. I take great hope from the stories of the masters. I highly recommend these books.

Starting, or at least thinking about, maintenance from the very beginning is important. The idea that I will be able to eat like normal people after I have lost the appropriate ammount has to be smashed. One way to do this is to learn, as I loose, that healthy eating is not awful - it involves lots of good things to eat and does not mean a life of deprivation.

Even now, restricting my intake, I am not deprived. I am a bit hungry sometimes, but not ravenous unless I wait too long to eat. There is no real reason I could not go on eating this way forever.

I think my biggest hurdle is going to be sustaining my interest. Dieting takes a lot of time, for me, anyway. I spend a good ammount of time every day preparing food so that it will taste good, look good (this looking good is very important to me ), and be healthy and contribute to wieght loss. I am afraid that I will suddenly loose interest in all this, and go back to my old, easier ways.

From age 15 to age 35, I was a heavy person who had no problems losing weight. I lost 20 lbs, 30 lbs, 50 lbs. Over and over again. I was GREAT at losing weight, TERRIBLE at maintaining any weight loss.

I can't believe it took 20 years to figure out that a short term diet was not the solution to my long term goal. I wanted to diet for a little while and then eat "normally." I can't believe it took me 20 years to figure out that my eating "normally" was what made me a heavy person. I had to change my normal.

In July 2004, I completely changed the way I eat forever. I used to eat a ton of junk and fast food, never paid attention to portion sizes, never measured cooking oil or salad dressing, ate nuts by the handful, never looked up a calorie count, never got on the scale, never made a conscious decision about anything I ate.

I have completely reversed that. I eat a healthy, whole foods diet with an emphasis on a plant-based diet. I always pay attention to portion sizes, still measure most of my food, get on the scale faithfully once a week, look up all calorie counts, food journal and keep a daily calorie estimate in my head. There are occasional treats, but they are normally planned and accounted for. This is forever.

When I ate badly, I was heavy. Now that I eat well, I am thin. I have maintained my weight loss for nearly 2 and a half years, I am no longer as afraid of regaining my weight. I have built all these healthy habits that keep me slim and I love the way I eat now. I don't want to go back to my fat, tired, depressed, lazy self. Never.

If you're afraid of gaining weight back, change your goal from "I want to lose weight" to "I want to lose weight and keep it off." Be thinking about maintenance from DAY ONE. Come join us in the maintainer's forum. Choose a plan that you can stick with for the rest of your life. Think very very very long term about every weight loss decision. Changed my life.

Wow, thanks all.. You just really confirmed what I was thinking and what to do to maintain. I didn't realize the maintenance forum was so open and welcoming to everybody. I will be checking that out.

Torister- My mom is just overly concerned I guess and she wants something that is a permanent weight loss solution for me because she thinks that I will gain it back. I've told her I don't qualify but she thinks I should just get a consult anyways and possibly they would do it as a "preventative measure". But I don't want to waste my time or that doctor's time especially when the lap-band I see it as a last resort. And it will be my last resort. I understand your points about the risks of surgery and I completely agree.

Thanks all again for the support and sharing!

I lost it all before (80 pounds back them), and gained all but 10 back. I'm not afraid of it now, because there's no way in **** I'm going to let that happen again!

Hey blonde, don't you have to be more than 100 pounds overweight before that surgery is even recommended? Or am I thinking of something else...

Give it a good, hard try. Don't let your mom's negative comments and fearful expectations drive you to the surgeon.

Cheers!
Jay