Hello all!

I am a new girl here looking for support. At my highest weight I was 375 pounds. The fact that I was pushing 400 pounds scared the **** out of me, so I decided to try AGAIN to lose weight. The good news.....I lost 25 pounds! The bad news....that's all I lost. I am stuck at 350, and it doesn't seem to matter how many or how little calories I take in per day. Well, I guess I can't really say that, because if I go on a binge I will definitely start packing the pounds back on. But, I have tried everything from as little as 1000 calories per day, and as much as about 2000 calories per day (thinking that maybe I wasn't eating enough), and nothing happens on the scale. So, I started exercising again. I am planning on starting all over with the calorie counting on Monday, starting at 2000 calories to see how it goes. From what I have read in the forum, I should start at a higher number, and subtract as needed if I still don't lose weight. My biggest problem is the weekends. I just seem to fall off the wagon every Saturday morning, and I don't recover until Monday morning. Ofcourse, by then, the damage is done. The depression of having had one of my little boys die last year is also getting in the way on a regular basis. I quit smoking years ago, and I don't drink or do drugs. So, the only thing left was food. And when I get sad thinking about my son, I tend to eat...... a lot. So, here I am, at the beginning, for the millionth time, trying not to quit before I even get started.

Shirley

Shirley - take it one day at a time and plan the heck out the day, especially the weekends. Move a little more and eat a little less. Schedule your exercise, walking is fine, like you would schedule a meeting with a friend and it can become your friend. It is a great stress reliever. The weeks I do the best are those that I have an exercise plan and an eating plan and the groceries to back it up.

Liza

Welcome! You've come to the right place for support & inspiration. You can do it. The fact that you have lost 25lbs proves that. You quit smoking, that proves that you're strong too. I know lots and lots of people who have tried and failed to quit smoking tons of times. Weekends are hard for lots of people. Take it one day at a time or one hour at a time. Plan to get through the next hour of your life without falling off the wagon. When you do that give yourself a big high-five because you deserve it. Then plan to get through the next hour.

I can't look at the big picture. I can only do it a min at a time otherwise I become overwhelmed and want to give up. I think lots of people are like that. You can do this. Sometimes you have to take baby steps to begin with, but each baby step puts you that much closer to your goal.

Shirley--

Welcome!

So sorry about your loss. I hope you have good support in your family and friends--that's so important.

You say you're not losing no matter what level of calories you do. How long have you been plateaued? I know for myself I tend to get impatient pretty quickly, but sometimes temporary plateaus pop up for all of us, so we have to hang in there.

Welcome Cheyenne,

The exercise should help. Every little bit adds up. Also, if you know you are going to eat more on the weekends, maybe reduce your calorie intake during the week to 1800 and set a limit of 2200-2500 on the weekends. I go out a lot and there are some days I would like to be able to eat more, so I plan something similar.

It's all about finding a way to live that helps you stay on track for the long term.

You know as sucky as it might be your weekend issue could very well undo all the work you've done throughout the week. Can you figure out something to do that will take you out of your normal weekend pattern? Maybe a fun class? Art class? Or something more active... You said you want to include exercise... 'tis a great idea. Anything that breaks you out of normal patterns might help.

First of all, welcome to the boards! This is a great place for motivation and support. I attribute every pound I've lost thus far to this place. This was my re-do (for the millionth time), and so far I haven't fallen off the wagon. Slipped a couple times, but jumped right back on. Since everyone has different requirements and situations with dieting, you may want to try talking to a doctor and seeing if you can meet with a nutrition specialist or something of that nature. Even though 2000 may seem like a high caloric intake, it may still be a tough low for you. My husband was at 325 and the doc suggested he start at 2400 calories. It all depends on your body and your physical activity. So check with that. If counting calories works for you, it's a great way to start making lifestyle changes. At least that is what I have found. I have also found it's important to exercise every day. I know it is not necessary per se, but I know that if I slack a day or two, it will be so much harder to get back into it. If I set aside time for it every single day, I have no excuse. Some days I take it slow, others I bump it up, but every day I make myself do it. But that's just works for me, what I work best on. What works best for you, what has worked in the past? How did you lose the 25 lbs?

Shirley – Welcome! I can’t imagine the wrenching heartache that you must feel at losing a child. Are you seeing a therapist? Are you being treated for depression? It sounds like in order to lose weight you are going to need to find a different way to channel your grief.

Congratulations on already losing 25 pounds. I am calorie counter too and I lost well on 2000 for quite some time. Also, if you are feeling you are doing everything right and not losing it might be time to visit the doctor.

Please feel free to join us on the numbered threads and also on the exercise thread where we track how many minutes we exercise as a group. It is a great motivation to get moving. I love being able to post my minutes.

Shirley - I am so sorry about your loss. I can't imagine how hard that must be.

Welcome, Shirley, and congratulations on your success so far!

This story coming may seem off the topic, but just trust me:

STORY:
The garden has a lot of things ripe now: zucchini, yellow squash, sugar snap peas, beets, peppers, lettuce. For the past few days I've been eating like a fiend from the garden but struggling to reach 1200 calories.

I was eating uber healthy: tons of veggies, tons of fiber, tons of vitamins packed in those veggies.

How did I feel? Tired, "off," kind of crappy. Fidgety, lacking focus, but also lacking drive. I was full so my tummy was happy, but I swear my body was pissed that its caloric intake had been cut roughly in half.

Today I kept a lot of the veggies, but I made sure to get some calories from other areas—more fats, more grains. I'm up to 2k calories for today and I feel SO much better. Alert, satisfied.
END OF STORY

The moral is: don't be afraid to start high! When I began around 323, I set myself a range of 2000-2500, and mostly wound up in the middle of that range. Family Christmas? I remember that; it was around 2800. There've even been a few debauched days around 3400. On the other hand, there are a lot of days around 1800 too.

If you do decide to try beginning at a highish calorie amount, keep in mind that it's damn hard to get 2500 or even 2000 calories from an all-healthy, low-fat diet. Don't be afraid to add a little fat to fill you up and round out your calories. For example, a tablespoon of olive oil in your stir fry, instead of cooking spray, will add about 120 calories of totally healthy fats and keep you satisfied longer.

Whatever you choose to do, I know you will succeed!

Hello and Welcome Shirley.. Sorry to hear the loss of one of your son, I can imagine how hard to lose a child. Hoping your pain will heal and lead a better and healthy life. Once we grieve of a loved one, it takes time to heal. My prayers are with you on your healing process of your son..

2nd.. I want to congatualte you of not giving up and keeping fighting the battle. It shows your determination and a winner in my book for trying and not throwing in the towel. I am glad that you are back on the diet wagon.. I believe you can do this. Stick with your plan, and with many slip ups/ bumpy roads you may hit along your journey.. Each day is a new beginning! Stick with your plan and do any exercise for 30 minutes of your choices that will make a smile on you. Stay strong..

Much success to you and looking forward on hearing you get lighter and healthier new you!

Thanks for the support everyone! I just got on the scale and saw that I am up 3 or 4 pounds from what I was this morning. This tells me that I might actually gain a pound or two by tomorrow, despite the fact that I only ate about 1900 calories today, and I also did a ton of exercise. So, I think I am going to have to force myself to change my way of thinking about this process, at least for a while. I know that keeping my calories at 2000 per day as often as possible is good for me, and I also know that exercising regularly is also good for me. So, maybe I should be aiming for physical fitness instead of immediate weight loss. Will I eventually drop the pounds with this plan??? I honestly don't know. But I am absolutely certain that if I quit exercising and start over eating again that I will end up bed bound some day. Although I hate the idea of learning to be content in the body that I have right now, it is obvious to me now that I can't go through every day hating my reflection.

Shirley

I decided to not worry so much about the numbers and concentrate on feeling better. I think as the fitness goes up the weight will eventually go down. I feel so much better already, after only exercising for 2 weeks. The scale is easy to obsess over. I had to put the scale away and for the moment I plan to weigh myself only every 2 or 3 weeks. I got so frustrated watching the numbers bounce up and down every day. There are a lot of other ways to measure success.

Pick one small goal and work towards that. So many people here have been where you are and are where you (and I) want to be. When you feel like you can't do it, look at them and know that you can. It motivates the heck out of me.

Shirley - One golden rule about the scale is to always weigh at the same time, same circumstances (ie before eating, no clothes, after peeing etc.), otherwise you can see HUGE variations in your weight. Heck - even weighing in at the same time every day you can see big swings due to water retention. You will likely not see results immediately on the scale - rather it will take several days if not longer for your results to show.

Shirley -- Welcome!

I know someone else asked, but I wonder too if you're seeing someone for all the stress. Maybe you are depressed too? I can't imagine the pain of losing a child.

Nancy gave great advice on weighing. My advice is patience. What happened yesterday may not really be reflected right away. That's important to remember. And, we who have a lot to lose have to be the most patient of all. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so you need to have a long term focus.

Feel free to also join us on the numbered threads -- that's where a lot of the action is.

We also have a VERY active exercise board where we track the number of MINUTES of exercise we do -- we're on target for 200,000 minutes this year, which I think is pretty amazing.