I am amazed at how differently I am handling loss because of what I've learned in OA.

My sponsor is still isolating in grief. She is communicating with me through email a bit. Hearing from her is a huge relief for me. She sounds like she is in a very dark place that is very far away from everything that she has taught me.

There isn't much that I can say to her other than the fact that I love her. So, I'll just keep letting her know that.

Thanks so much Marny for sharing your difficult sponsor issue with such courage. You're an inspiration. I know from AA they keep telling me that it's about principles not personalities, and you are a real example of working the programme based on the principles.

But it's not easy. I'm well able to pay lip service to the fact that another person cannot keep me free from disease, but I really felt it in the gut when my ex AA sponsor let me go after 7 years wonderful support.

Today, thank God, this woman remains a dear and precious friend. I'm eternally grateful for all her wisdom and love. But you know, our 'working' relationship had become stagnant and her letting me 'go to grow' was really about the fact that she was able to pull the plug whereas I was terrified to let go, even though it had stopped working for me too.

Funny enough, my biggest source of support continues to be another close friend who was also let go by my sponsor around the same time. That all happened almost 2 years ago and I have not looked back, nor have I relapsed in alcohol, thank God, one day at a time.

I remember crying and being very upset and disorientated, because like you, I would have been in almost daily contact with this woman.

Great to hear that you're a little bit in touch with your sponsor, great too that you have such compassion. You've been such a source of help to me in these early OA days Marny; and I believe your inner strength will carry you through this.