heyas, i'm new and fat, but very much looking forward to changing!

here's a bit about my situation: i had my second baby in december, and he's starting 'real' foods (nursing only very little now), so i'm ready to really get my weight under control.

finances are tight, so i won't be joining a gym, or seeing a dietician or having surgery or any of that stuff... i can barely even afford normal healthy stuff, let alone some pre-packaged scam. and heck with the awful heat waves, i'm lucky to get out of the house, it turns me into a withered up husk of a couch potato! yet, i'm still determined... somehow.

i have no actual real-life support, (which is why i find myself here, i suppose)... in fact my husband is more of a saboteur - today he brought home a costco-sized key lime pie, and my favorite potato chips, when i've been telling him repeatedly that we could all do with eating a bit healthier. he actually starts arguments if i forego a snack that he thinks i 'need'. which... well i just don't understand. he's younger and fit and has even made comments about how he would never 'let' himself get fat... like i just woke up and decided one day that i wanted to be uncomfortable in my own skin. and i find myself falling into the typical pit of self esteem/insecurity issues of a woman who feels her husband could 'do better' - even though he doesn't rag on me directly about my weight.
anyway, my whole family is overweight, many of the women morbidly obese, in fact... so, even in the past when i've lost weight (i've always been the 'smallest') they give me a hard time about being skinny (though i've always been average or above)... and try to force food on me. any type of family gathering is seen as an excuse to get together and gorge, and if i opt not to go or don't eat when i'm there, i'm in the doghouse for awhile.
gosh, this is turning into a novel, sorry! well, i guess i feel like my struggle with weight is going to be exceptionally awful this time, but it's my hope that i can do it anyway. i'm optimistic, but sort of at a loss on how to begin under the circumstances... i know that there will be daily environmental frustrations (moreso than i've experienced with past weight loss), and i'm afraid that people around me will try to take away my free will when it comes to what i eat. but i'm still going to try. i have to.

No one can make you eat anything. Sure, people can try and make you feel bad, but this isn't about them, this is about you. Be prepared to do some very straight talking if needs be.

Fruit, veg and walking arn't expensive, luckily! As an adult woman who has misguided but loving family behind her, embrace your power (to say *I'm doing X, I'm not eating a lot of Y right now*, etc) and show it to the masses!

emily
xxx

Welcome to the forum! It's a big step to just decide to make some changes.

Check out some diet books from your local library. That's free, and you might get some ideas of things that will work for you.

If you want to just count calories, there are some websites out there that you can use for free. I've been using fitday.com and it's a good way for me to know if I'm going overboard or not.

Search around and find a place you fit in here! There's some great motivation and inspiration on these pages!

Kara

Hello and welcome! I noticed you are from Seattle area so that caught my eye... greetings from Bothell!

And I agree... it is up to US to not eat even in situations... and there are LOTS of them... where others try to "make" us do so. I have learned to smile and say hey I am happy with what I have, etc., rather than treating it like something "bad" that I am missing out on, even if at times I FEEL that way! Remember YOU are the one doing the right thing when you are eating healthfully. Our culture so much encourages the "pig out" mentality and then at the same time criticizes fat people. Well yah it would be NICE if we could eat whatever we want and stay skinny minnies but for many of us it doesn't work that way! Hang in there and hope you stick around here for support and encouragement!

Mdae, I just want you to know that I've been there, done that, got the freaking T-shirt! I'm WAY older than you are, but I have SO been where you are. I gained a lot of weight with MY second baby, and made up my mind that it was coming off no matter WHAT anybody else thought, said, or felt about it. My (then) husband was working nights and going to school days, and I was planning to go back because I had dropped out in my sophomore year of college when I was pregnant with my first baby. Money? Fahgeddaboutit! By the time I'd bought everything the babies needed, paid rent, utilities, etc., there wasn't a dime left for any of those things you mentioned - gyms, special diet foods, etc. SO, I created my own exercise routines - sit-ups, side-to-side stretches, leg lifts, etc. - and I did them for fifteen to rwenty minutes three times a day. I ate a LOT of salads w/ small amounts of meat - a small hamburger, a half chicken breast, tuna salad...and cut out breads, pastas, sweets entirely. Mdae, you can do it, and once you do, you won't have to feel inferior, insecure, or anything else, AND if it makes anyone else uncomfortable or feeling threatened, well, that's just too bad, isn't it? This is about YOU - and YOUR life - not them. If they choose to be heavy (and it IS a choice!) YOU certainly don't have to feel guilty about it!
I lost all I wanted to lose and more....it's only been over the last few years that I've allowed myself to gain weight; my kids are all grown up and I even have some grandkids! But you know what? I couldn't even tolerate the added weight at MY age! Some people seem to be able to handle being overweight, but some of us - certainly the people you see here on 3FC - can't, and so we do something about it. You CAN! Good luck, honey -

E!

thank you for all the encouragement and the suggestions! i really need all the support i can get.

exercise will be tough for a while still because the baby doesn't like being left out of anything, but i'm going to walk around the school track across the street with the stroller, or maybe rollerblade (again with the stroller) if i think i can do it without breaking my neck. i know that neither are a perfect 'workout' but for the immediate future, isn't the most important thing getting off my butt? i have some dvds (belly dance and yoga/pilates) but i feel ridiculous doing them - guess i gotta get over that! i suppose i should include a few random things too, like crunches - but what else? i'm clueless about real exercise routines.

Hey Mdae!
I really felt what you're going through. Money is tight for me too, and with two kids, luxuries like gym memberships have to go on the backburner. BUT, you can indeed do it! Smaller portions, lots of water, and just plain saying NOTHANKYOU to people's requests that you eat will make a huge difference. And girl, you've got a track across the street? You've got it made! I wish I did, and walking can make a huge impact. So, let's do this! With all the support and great suggestions you'll get here, and your added self-esteem once you get into the swing of things, you'll be just fine.
Good luck to you!
Toki

ps - Until recently, I felt the same way about my husband. But as time passes, and the weight comes off, HE"LL be jealous at all the attention you'll get. Trust me!