It's been 9 days on phase 1 (fell off on day 7 and starting over) and the newness of the diet is wearing off and the stresses of life are hitting me and I don't know how to cope. I used to cope by eating!!! I associate places with food and I associate a good time with good food. My job is very stressful and all day I wanted the garlic bread in my cupboard. I imagine putting butter on it and toasting it. I was almost willing to trade a lifetime of fatness for good food.

But I know coping with life with food is weak and uneffective. What did you guys do? When I was in college, there was a lot of do all the time so it was a lot easier to stay active so I weighed less then. When I was single, I ate out a lot so that didn't help cuz it's hard to go to a restaurant and want to eat healthy. Now that I'm married with a kid, I still haven't made the transition of enjoying my home life. I mean I enjoy my family but sometimes I'm so bored at home that I just eat and watch TV (I used to not watch TV almost at all). And I'm able to work from home sometimes (like today) and I just eat to cope with stress. Help me!

I can go play volleyball tonight (my favorite sport!) but then I'll be reminded of how much weight I have and how crummy I play so I don't even want to go. I haven't really played in about a year. Anyway, need help.

When I started on South Beach I thought it was all about the food.

*IF you follow the meal plan, something magical will happen and the pounds just disappear and you're floating happily on this cloud of perfectness...*

Not so. I found I had to face my inner demons. I had to figure out WHY I had gotten to a place where I needed to lose weight. I had to deal with the emotions of eating and the mentality of overeating and binging before it would be "easy". I still don't know if it'll ever be easy, but I've learned a lot of things about myself.

My biggest discovery is that this is not a chore. I am doing this for myself (not for anyone else or any external motivator) because I DESERVE to be healthy. I spend my life focused on other people and doing things for my family and friends and I always put myself last. This is for me. It might not be "fun" but it is worth it because it will create a better me.

I also have munchie issues. For that problem, I've used sugar-free gum pretty effectively. Gives my jaw something to do and I'm not ingesting calories I don't need.

Someone on here suggested jigsaw puzzles for those times you *want* to eat but aren't hungry. I imagine crosswords, Sudoku, etc. would do the same thing. Getting out of the house is always a good idea - take a short walk or run to the store to do some errands.

I don't know if that helps you at all, and after all, what does a 5'4" 133lb. chick know, right?

Kara

Nights are my big "no-no" time too. I'm rushing and busy all day long, but when I stop working (I work from home during the summer) I get bored out of my mind and head for food. Even when watching TV, I've got to be doing something else or I get "antsy"..so it used to be eating. Now what I've been doing at night when watching TV is I do something else for me...like whitening my teeth (hard to eat with a mouthful of trays). Or I give myself a facial or I do my nails or fold clothes or something else that keeps me occupied. If I just HAVE to have something, I grab a SF popsicle or something from my "goody box". I keep a covered container in the fridge with something "legal" in it that I can grab fast and have a little bowl of. Right now my goody box has marinated grape tomatoes/minced onions/thin cucumber and thin sliced raw squash in it..(I have it marinating in olive oil/balsamic vinegar/lemon juice/dijon mustard/italian seasoning) I can scoop up a custard size bowl of it and it really fills me up when I get to where I have to have something at night. I try to keep it filled with stuff like that.

I love to garden and work in my garden as much as I can, but after dark is no good.

Well, when you play volleyball, instead of focusing on the negative, why not focus on all the calories you're burning and how much fun you're having! Any other exercise in the evening after a bad day will not only help you blow off steam, but make you feel good about yourself after too.

I enjoy reading after a long day, and especially recipe-hunting online. I love my forums of course, and any other recipes I can find. I have subscriptions to 4 different health-related magazines (excessive, I know, but my best friend's niece sells them for school,) and when we have the money, I indulge in a new book once a month or so. I enjoy self-help and suspenseful thriller types.

Thanks everyone! I really really needed that. I'm a consultant and I'm all about solving problems for people all days long, but it can really wear on me and I feel like I need a "reward" in the form of food. I have to get used to the idea that food that will lead to weight gain is not a "reward"! I will keep going.

Kara, I will try SF gum and maybe errands, even though it used to not be easy for me to leave the house without my family feeling insecure because when I first got married, I didn't like staying at home at all because I didn't grow up in a home where I felt safe. Anyway, long story, so I tried to stay home more so my family will know that I really enjoy being with them (they are more home bodies than me). Now that my daughter is a more social life, it's a lot easier to get out of the house but sometimes I feel guilty. Sometimes, it's not good for me to be out of the house too long either because I struggle with gambling and sometimes being away for long stretches of time without my family knowing where I'm at is not good.

femmecreole, thanks for the "goody box" idea, I like that I'll start having my own.

weezle, yes, I will get back to playing some volleyball and I think subscribing to fitness magazines is a great idea!!

My favorite non-food rewards are things like a new lip gloss (ask the girls, I'm addicted) or eyeshadow or something like that for small rewards, and mini shopping sprees ($100) for big rewards. Just some thoughts!

Are you able to walk at night? That could get you out of the house without being close enough to temptations to set you off in other areas (unless you live close to a casino!).

What I meant about getting out of the house is that if you're out of reach of the snacky things, you wouldn't be able to eat them. Like, I could eat a whole can of nuts in one sitting. I LOVE nuts! So if I'm going to have nuts for a snack, I've discovered that I can safely do it by packing a baggie of 15 nuts for a time I'll need a snack when I'm out. Today, for example, the kids and I were out of the house from 8:30 until 2, so I had to pack a morning snack and lunch, and I had nuts today. Another day when we're home all day I won't have nuts because I know I could get out of control with them.

It's draining dealing with other people's problems all day! I imagine your job is very stressful!

What about cross stitching or knitting while you're watching TV?

Kara

Yes, I live about 20 mins away from 4 casinos! And I just live in LA, there are so many around here though most people don't really notice them. Thanks for helping! I'm running errands at night, that helps me. I exchanged a video today and stopped by the grocery store to buy strawberries on sale for my family and SF fudgsicles for me. Maybe I'll start doing my laundry at night, since we do it at my in-laws/soon-to-be our home which is about a 7 minutes drive. A little back and forth gets me out of the house for short periods of time.

I can eat too many nuts too! It's hard to contain myself on the servings since there's no official rules or maybe I missed them since I skipped around the book and the forum. Going to bed now, feeling a little hungry, though I think it's a good sign when I feel slightly hungry before bed. That makes me think that I didn't overeat today, and that might mean that my weight might decrease the next day!

Ooooh! Here's hoping the scale's down for you!!!

Nuts servings (1 of the following per day):

15 walnuts
15 almonds
15 cashews
15 pecans
8 macadamia nuts
30 pistachios
2 tablespoons peanut butter (natural, no sugar added - I love the Adams brand but I forget whether that's the west coast or east coast name, maybe Smuckers Natural or something like that on the other coast - We've lived in too many time zones!!)

Walk your laundry back and forth! HA! I know, that's ridiculous. I'm sure you have as much laundry as me!!!

And what are you doing up, woman? It's 3:45 in the afternoon here in Korea, but it's got to be nighttime for you!

Kara

Kara she gets the night owl thing from me. We used to be roomates and I would keep her up all night long and now she can't sleep Hee heee

Dreamy...hee hee you know its weird for me to call you that I love the ideas everyone had but also I think its very important to reach out. There are a ton of folks that we know that are a phone call away that are on some kind of "diet/lifestyle change". Sometimes girls just need to chat and get the feelings out. I'm not saying you're not gonna want food but it will become less of an issue as your metabolism changes and as you inner spirit changes to realize you deserve to be healthy for you alone. And as I told you before sticking to Phase 1 has kept me on the plan. When I am tempted to cheat I think oh my goodness I will have to go back to Phase 1 and its just not worthy it

Nik, you're funny. A couple times I've reeled myself back in thinking about having to do Phase 1 over again if I let my cravings get the best of me! It wasn't that bad after the first five days for me, but I'd rather stick to Phase 2!!!

Kara

My dad lost a lot of weight and his trick was playing cards while he was at home at night! You can't eat and play solitaire at the same time--not easily, at least!

I crochet while I watch TV--mostly because I can't do one thing at a time.

Theres always the-brush-your-teeth thing. After dinner but way before bed in order to prevent eating/snacking. I also love the knitting suggestion b/c if you do get into it - yarn/needle shopping can be a nice little reward for yourself when you need one.

Kara, thanks for the nut info, oops, I didn't know I'm limited to 1 serving of nuts a day. I was eating like 2-3, well, now I know.

Thanks Nik! I'll call you but you were gone this weekend! Hee hee, not to blame my slip up on you or anything Calling is a good idea yes.

I've thought about computer games but just haven't found them interest enough to keep me away from the fridge.

I didn't used to have the patience to croquet or knit or scrap book, but maybe those are not bad ideas.