I really really hate it, and not because it is right now at least 20 pounds heavier than I would like it to be.

I hate its basic shape.

I have thick thighs, no waist and a square build. I always have.

Even when I'm thin I look fat.

When I weighed less than 100 pounds I looked like a chunky 12 year old. When I was 12 and weighed 103 my pediatrician called me "plump"

My weight obsession started then.

I know my starting weight (140) is the same as a lot of folks' ending weights. Well, if I looked like some of you ( Meg and RockinRobin come to mind) I'd be perfectly happy to stay right where I am.

Marlu, that's very sweet of you.

But, you know, I'm built just like you, with thick thighs, no waist, and a square build. Really, I'm built like a tree stump.

My point is -- we're all way harder on ourselves than we are to others. We look at photos of other people and see the GOOD ... then we look at ourselves and pick out our BAD features. I'm certain that if I saw a photo of you, I'd look and see all your wonderful and special features, which all together add up to a beautiful woman, I'm sure.

Please don't hate your body! It's the only one you're ever going to have, so love it and take care of it with healthy food and exercise. Make up your mind to be the best who YOU can be and try not to compare yourself to anyone else. Please love yourself.

Hi Meg, thanks for the response.

I do take care of my body. I try to eat healthy and I get a lot of exercise.

You look a lot better than I do, believe me. And you're a lot smaller (size 2-4 if I recall correctly). I'm an 8 ( really a 12 by the old sizing charts, good god!)

I so badly want to be smaller than I am.

Two neighborhood girls came over to pet the hound ( Sweetie, our beloved retired 82 pound greyhound. He is essentially our child and we call him our furkid.)

They weigh less than he does. (I know because they asked his weight and when I told them they told me theirs.)

Right now I think I would sell my soul to weigh 85 pounds. I think I would look good ( and proportional) at that weight.

Starting weight is the same as a lot of folks' ending weights...I hear you. But again, like you, I think *Other Folks* look good.

I guess what I mean is..I'd kill to think I look as good as I think other people do. For some reason, THEY look fine at 140lbs, but on ME, well I have to be much lower to look decent.

I'm built the same way, marlu. No waist, big ribcage, wide shoulders and only 5'2 1/2". At 120, I think I'm fat but that's just the "fat brain". I'm actually quite small and also wear a 2 or 4 on the bottom. The only solution that I've found is get the fat off, and build muscle to reshape your body. You can't grow more vertebrae, but sculpting your shoulders, chest and back through heaving weight training will make your waist appear smaller. For most women, good heavy lower body workouts will make you smaller rather than larger, as long as you are eating clean and losing fat. Intense or long cardio will burn extra fat. The number on the scale is really very misleading- the way you look depends on what your body composition, not the scale weight. If I stopped lifting, I'd be three sizes larger at the same weight.

You have to make the most of what you have, rather than hating it.

Mel

Hi marlu. Thanks for the compliment. That was very, very sweet of you.

It really is all about perspective. Quite frankly I am thrilled with my body. Most people would despise it if it were theirs, but when you're coming from where I was (287 lbs), yeah, I'll take this new one. Funny enough, in the pics you saw of me, I don't look much like that anymore. I've since lost another 20 something pounds and I officially look like - a boy. I've totally lost my hourglass shape. Lost my butt, my boobs and my hips. For the first time ever, I am pretty straight. Again, I'll take it. But I DO miss my old curvy self. I will never be perfect. I've got some loose skin. Thick calves. And I'm only 5 feet tall. But I'm ME. And I'd rather be an imperfect ME, then a perfect somebody else.

Please try and accept YOUR body. It's the only one you've got. Flaws, imperfections and whatnot. We are our own worst critics and believe me, no one, absolutely no one thinks as strongly and negatively about your body as you do. They just don't. And you shouldn't either. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Focus on all the good - not the - not so good.

And by the way, Mel is right. The exercise has been phenomenal for me. I am waaaay smaller now at 135 lbs then I was as a young woman of the same weight. Way, way, WAY smaller and narrower. I've done what I can to improve myself and get healthier, fitter and smaller. And what ever I'm left with - so be it.

Having the perfect body is something that is not obtainable and you really shouldn't strive to get there, because you never will. Love the body that you HAVE.

This is what I was gonna say!!!!

Your posts suggest that your hate for your body may not ONLY about your weight, but some other issues. Unless you can figure out those issues, you aren't going to like it no matter what weight you are.

I think you could use a chance to figure out why you don't like your body -- maybe talking to a therapist could help? Someone who deals with body issues?

If you can't do that, maybe spend some time journalling and reflecting about it (you started that in your post). It might help you get some clarity.

I hope you can learn to see how beautiful you are!

Wow does this post hit home today. I had been feeling so good about my weight, but then i took a picture in my new size 9/10 jr's tank top and size 11 jr skirt i bought last weekend. Wow....did i think i looked fat. I told my mom today i was feeling very low about my body. That yes, i have come a long way, but looking at the fat rolls i still saw on the sides of my waist just had me really feeling down. And i fear that i'm going to have to have a tummy tuck (which i'll never be able to afford) and always have thick, flabby thighs. All i can think about these days is getting in as much excersize as i possibly can. Oh how i wish the gym was open today so i could go work out, but i'm sitting here at work, about to go change into my excersize clothes and go hit the pavement and get a mile or two in. Then before i leave, i may do it again. I just want to tone up all the flab as quickly as i can.

Ohhh, I hate my body too, marlu.

I'm also big-boned, have no waist, and I feel like I either look stocky or junkie thin; it's one extreme or the other. If I'm over 135, I look stocky, but if I'm under 125, I can see ALL my bones and look like I need to eat something. So, I'm doing quite a bit of weight training in hopes that I can develop the illusion of a waist with a strong upper body and eventually develop abs.

lumifan: I feel like I have rolls on my sides no matter what, too... they just never go away. If they don't vanish by the time I hit GW, I'm going to be beyond frustrated. I wear an 11 in jr's and I don't think it's TOO large, and you probably look GREAT!

I know what you mean. I wonder if the 4th of July holiday has left everybody feeling down? I'm only 5'2, so I'm also built like a "stump" lol. No waist, thick thighs, and cankles. I'm like a piece of play-doh that somebody squished down

I've been feeling ok lately, since I have lost 8 lbs and haven't put any back on for months, but yesterday I went to a beach party which put my self-esteem right back in the toilet. I have a couple of friends who are my same height and age, and somehow they are much better proportioned than me.

But like Meg said, this body is the only one I'm ever going to have, so I'll have to make do.

that was wonderfully said, as well as the advice from the other girls!


i totally understand how you feel. i've always been naturally slender and skinny, but when college hit, that's when all my bad habits kicked in, thus the weight gain. i'm around your height, i'm 5'2 and a half, right now, weigh 119 (i was about 125 lbs), and getting down to 110 lbs.

i have a pear shaped body, and i'm definitely more bottom heavy. i used to hate my booty and curvy hips with my teeny and petite upper body, but i'm starting to love my body a lot more, and accepted that i can't look like my 14 year-old and 90 lbs self. i'm turning into a woman! i'm sure you're a beautiful and wonderful girl, but you need to learn to love yourself first. that's the most important thing. i think it'd be beneficial if you talk to therapist about these feelings. i have, and it has helped me so much.

we're all here for you!

every woman i know, regardless of their weight, has issues with their body. it's sorta sad, actually, but that's life. i dislike my arms and legs - i always say i have the arms and legs of an infant who has not yet grown into their body, lol. but honestly, there are so many things that i do like about my body - my waist, my (fairly) flat stomach, my chest, my shoulders. focusing on that, plus working out and trying to tighten up the things i dont like, well, thats all i can do. otherwise, i'd just go off plan and end up looking even worse.

Oh:

Can you find one thing that you like to help you to love yourself? Do you have beautiful eyes, nice hair, lovely hands, etc? When I have body issues, I try to find one thing that I like and stay positive! You are important and you do only have one body...

Your outside doesn't define who you are. If you try and stay positive, the beautiful inside will compliment the outside really soon!

I know exactly what you mean about hating your body. But honestly, everyone is someone's goal weight! Your mine! I would kill to be a size 8 or even 12. Like everyone has said, you are your own worst critic, and that's the case with everyone. You really cant compare yourself to others, it's not healthy and its really not realistic. Love yourself.
~ Lisa