My thoughts on willpower...

I used to be a terrible dieter. Terrible, as in couldn’t make it past lunch on a diet. But when I was 20 I was overweight and unhappy with it and I realized that I either needed to figure out how not to be overweight or I needed to get happy with myself, fat and all. I decided to learn how to fix it. So, slowly, so slowly, I learned what foods were healthy and how to exercise. Much more slowly, I started changing my diet to incorporate more healthy foods. The foods you like to eat are mostly a product of habit, and I developed a habit of eating mostly healthy foods. Now, I love tons of things I would not have eaten at all 15 years ago. Spinach, yay! Oatmeal, hurrah! Broccoli, huzzah! Skim milk, delish! Yay for healthy foods! Also, very slowly over the years, I’ve also cultivated a love of exercise. Now, exercise is one of my favorite things. I anticipate it, enjoy it thoroughly, and never miss it if I can help it. This is a big change, because I hated, hated, HATED exercise 15 years ago. HATED. With a passion. Turns out, I only hated it because I was BAD at it. Now that I’m fitter, I enjoy it. A bigger challenge than those for me has been learning portion control and to control snacking. To find a reduced calorie level and STICK to it. It was easy to ADD good things (healthy foods, exercise); it’s a lot harder for me to resist temptation.

In the beginning, when I was a terrible dieter who would make a resolution one night and be off my new diet by noon the next day, I blamed it on willpower. I just didn’t have the willpower to stick to a diet!! I figured I’d never lose much weight – no willpower!

Now, after much, much practice I am not perfect, but I am a MUCH better dieter. I stay on plan MOST of the time! I still struggle with a tendency to graze and snack, but it’s much less of a problem.

What changed?

Somewhere along the line, I decided that willpower was not important for dieting. I hadn’t developed more willpower over time – I still WANTED to overeat and would if given the chance – I just made sure I wasn’t exposed to temptation. Willpower is a temporary emotion that doesn’t last very long – in my case only till noon! – and when it goes away, it leaves you high and dry. Instead, you have to set yourself up for success. For me, that means that my temptation foods are just not in the house. That means that I plan my meals. That means that I enforce accountability by writing down what I eat. It means that if someone gives me a box of chocolates that I feel I can’t refuse, I give them away or throw them away at the first opportunity. I just do my best not to expose myself to temptation! I used to think that was all you needed!

But recently, I’ve come to appreciate the role willpower does play in dieting. Let’s face it, we can’t ALWAYS keep temptation away! And that short-term OOMPH that willpower gives us can get us through those situations. Sometimes 10 minutes of willpower is all you need to get you past those free donuts!

I recently got a promotion (yay!) which means I have to be in the office much more (boo!). And that’s a problem because there is ALWAYS tons of free fatty, sugar-laden foods available at the office. ALWAYS!! And free food is a weakness of mine. Somehow it feels like I’m getting away with a special treat when I get a big old slice of cheesecake for free! And I can’t really remove myself from the situation – this free food is in the kitchen at work, it’s in meetings, it’s EVERYWHERE! The only way past it is pure willpower!!

As I said, I started off with the least amount of willpower of anyone I’ve ever known! I would give in at the slightest opportunity! If there was a brownie laying around, I HAD to have some!! It’s something I still struggle with, every single day. Yesterday, for example, there was a going away party for a team mate. And there was tons of food EVERYWHERE! Good food, too! But something I’ve noticed is that although I still struggle with this a lot, I am soooo much better at passing on the free fatty, sugary food than I used to be. It’s amazing! Me! Passing up chocolate cake! Sometimes I still fall into the trap of having a bite or two … which turns into six or seven … pieces. But not that often, relatively speaking!

It seems to me that willpower is like a muscle. The more you try to flex it, the stronger it gets. So, yes, I had practically no willpower 15 years ago! But after 15 years of trying to exercise my willpower, I’ve built up a little muscle!

I think the lesson here is that if you fail to exert your willpower, don’t think “Oh, I’m just someone without willpower and I will never have any!” Instead, realize that you tried to tackle something that your poor, under-exercised willpower couldn’t handle … but that if you keep trying, your willpower will grow STRONGER! And soon, you’ll be able to handle some of the biggest temptations! It takes time, though, so be patient and be persistent. This is a lifetime endeavor, though, so you’ll get there eventually!

So is this true for everyone else? How does willpower factor into YOUR diet efforts?

Willpower..

Well, I...this is a huge issue with me, I guess. I don't focus so much on willpower, I focus more on, if I do overeat, WHY I overeat. I firmly believe that poor eating isnt a LACK of willpower, its an ADDITION of an unwanted extra, like

-poor self esteem
-depression
-bad habits

You could argue that you need willpower to overcome the bad habits, so in fact willpower is important, but to me at least it isn't an issue. I figured this because if I'm relatively happy or distracted and not plagued by the above, I don't binge, eat badly, etc. Add a stressor or other such factor and I can want to eat for 6 hours straight.

I don't really think about "willpower" that much.

For me it is all about changing habits. This summer I am working on changing my "habit" of eating too much in one sitting. (I choose to eat pre-portioned foods like Lean Cuisine. This way I'm forced to not take seconds and thirds) Lo and behold, my body is changing and I'm now used to eating less. (it takes 29 days to change a habit) I am automatically wanting to eat less now because it's formed into a habit.

In the past, it was just a natural thing for me to go down to Taco Bell and get all that I desired. I've forced myself (it was soooo hard at first!) to not go and eat my pre-portioned foods instead. Now it just wouldn't feel right to go. I've gotten used to eating at home and I don't want to go to Taco Bell as much. It's like a miracle to me! I was the Taco Bell Queen!

So my increase in willpower, I realized, is actually me gradually getting used to doing things differently over time. I still want to eat junk occasionally, but it's gotten a whole lost easier to say no.

Heidi

I like your willpower/muscle analogy. That's something I'll think about when I'm faced with temptation.

I definitely agree with not keeping tempting foods around the house. It is so much easier to not eat something if I would have to go to the store and buy it.

But when there is something that's tempting me, avoiding it is more about reminding myself that I don't need to eat to enjoy myself, that there will be other opportunities to eat decadent foods, and reminding myself that eating whatever is tempting me will delay me getting to my goal. It's okay if I eat it, but I want to have made a conscious decision that it is worth the delay it is going to cause in my progress (and sometimes it is worth it, sometimes it isnt).

I was a business conference where they had all the usual breakfast pastries, ten different kinds of cake and cookies (really how many kinds of cake do you need?) with lunch, and then Haagen Daaz ice cream bars for the afternoon snack (with the cake from lunch still out as well). It was some sort of sugar orgy. My first instinct in that situation is that I have to have a piece of cake. I just HAVE TO HAVE IT; I will not survive without it. But I then I took a moment to step back and ask myself "Why? Why do I have to have a piece of cake?" I don't need the cake to enjoy myself here today. This is not the last chance I will ever have to eat a piece of cake. In fact, I can go to the bakery and buy myself a cake any day that I want (and it would probably be better than the cake here). And I reminded myself that I was planning to go out for dinner with friends in just a few days; that meal would surely be off plan, did I really want to have two off-plan days in less than a week? After I went though that thought process, the cake just wasn't as tempting. It still looked good and I did drink a lot of decaf coffee (another great strategy in a situation like that) as a substitute for the cake, but it wasn't really as hard to resist the cake as I thought it would be. I had thought about it and I could have had a piece if I wanted one but I decided I didn't want one.

But this to me isn't really willpower. It is taking a moment to be conscious about what I'm doing, to understand the emotions impacting my decision, and to weigh all the trade-offs involved in the decision. To me, willpower is saying no to something that you really want, and I have to admit that I really am not any good at that. But, in this situation, after I thought about it, I realized I didn't want the cake and then it didn't take much willpower at all to walk away from it.

I wish I could say that I do this every time I'm faced with tempting foods but it's definitely something I'm still working on. There are plenty of times when I still give in to the immediate "I have to have it" response. But I feel really good that I managed it at this conference. I swear....ten frickin cakes, cookies, and Haagen Daaz ice cream bars! What on earth were they thinking?

I hope to eventually get to the point where I don't have to have that whole conversation in my head. Where my initial gut reaction already incorporates that entire decision process and, I know going into an event like this, that I won't eat any of that stuff. It's still a long ways off, but I get closer to it with every event. For example, the breakfast pastries don't really tempt me anymore. I know I'm not going to eat them, whereas there was definitely a time where I had to have this conversation at breakfast too. Hopefully, one day I'll respond the same way to the desserts and afternoon snacks.

Willpower is definitely important for me. It's half the battle. I could see what I was doing to myself but I either didn't care enough to turn it around or I didn't care enough to put in the effort required. It was things clicking on in my mind finally where I said to myself okay, this is not how you want to continue so resolve to do something about it and stick to it. So the McDonald's stopped. The Pringles stopped. Eating potato chips and a Snapple at work stopped. Exercise started. Turning down goodie offerings at work started (which is actually what got one woman to ask me if I was on a diet at 10 pounds lost because I hadn't said anything to anybody). Modifying what I eat through essentially calorie counting and substituting started. The willpower and the eating are sort of working for each other because the willpower keeps me on track for the most part with my eating and being able to eat a variety of things I like, just less of it, fuels my willpower. I'm not only doing it, I want to do it, I like doing it.

2 ladies at my work tried Weight Watchers. I knew immediately who would succeed at it and who would fail. The woman who succeeded is the type who carefully watched and measured what she ate and really stayed on the program. She has that type of personality of doing something, focusing on it, and being thorough and relentless. The other woman had the best of intentions and hopes, went to the meetings for a couple of months. But then the deli sandwiches were back, the chocolate cakes were back, the take-out was back. I don't even think she's trying anything anymore. She has a lot of stress in her life and she likes to eat what she likes to eat. She felt it was too much of an effort than she was able or willing to put in.

Um, I don’t think I have much in the way of willpower. I might be able to pass up something like a piece of candy or pastry or something I don’t really care for. But if a friend calls me up and asks me to go bowling you can bet I will end up drinking some beer. Every time. Because I really like it and it’s a habit.

I am a creature of instant gratification when if comes to those things I think I really want, and of course habit. I have to admit I almost never make a concerted effort to deny myself something I really want because all I will do is obsess over it until I indulge even more. What I have done however is change my day-to-day habits. I eat much differently now than I used to when I was in college. Where a night out was a gigantic burrito or pizza slices or nachos and god only knows how much beer, now that I’m on a healthier track I can go out and have less food and fewer beers and it feels just as satisfying. It’s relative I suppose. But will power, not so much. I think I used up my lifetime supply when I quit smoking.

Good topic!

Thoughts on willpower... I think of willpower as being more than just "what I want." If that is all it is, then it's led me astray many times. So... how about this: Willpower is using one's mind and heart to stay with the right path.

I'd say that everyone here is interested in losing weight and staying a normal weight once we get there. And most of us follow at least some kind of strategy, if not a formal plan, to go in that direction. Enthusiasm is being all excited at the beginning and upon seeing those first pounds drop away. But enthusiasm may not last... especially when the going get tough after weeks of effort.

Motivation has to do with action--it's related to the word "move." So motivation is what gets one moving, keeps one going. Motivation can help on days when enthusiasm has faded. It's desire plus action, and it is more mental, I think, than enthusiasm. Sometimes motivation can fade as well.

Then there's commitment. This is what keeps you going when all else has gotten kind of weak, and here is where willpower helps. If I've made a commitment to lose weight, I have entrusted myself to a path. When those temptations arise to abandon efforts, or I just feel tired or bored or whatever, my willpower coupled with a reminder of my commitment may be able to pull me through.

A goal can help with commitment because it makes things concrete.

Still, I also believe that beyond willpower there is a "higher power" or "higher self" upon which I can call, and that this force, for lack of a better term, can assist me.

And those are some of my thoughts!

Jay