Where to begin...I suppose I could start with today. I just finished a journal entry lamenting once again about my weight, and how alone I feel in dealing with it. I decided to google weight loss support and see what came up. I so want to find something supportive, encouraging instead of condemning, without the cattiness and cliqueyness I've found on other boards. It's been about a year since I've been on any forum, or really tried to do anything about my weight. Anyway, when I saw 3 Fat Chicks, it made me laugh. I haven't read extensively here yet, but just looking around, this looks like it might be the place for me.

As of this morning, I weighed 337. My previous heaviest weight was 329, which I weighed when I went in to deliver my second child. I am 5'5". At some point, I'll share my history and the story of how I got to be so big. At this point, what matters is trying to lose it. If I ever get below 200, I'll be happy. I don't care if I weigh 199.9 for the rest of my life, if I ever get out of the 2's I will not complain again.

I have PCOS, and was diagnosed (and I use that term loosely because they still aren't 100% sure what's going on with me) with a lupus-like autoimmune disorder three years ago. Since then, exercising has been sporadic and painful. I am too humiliated to put on a bathing suit and do water exercises, though if I had access to a private pool, I would swim all the time. My dream is to have one of those "Eternal Pools", those small indoor pools for exercising.

I have tried Weight Watchers repeatedly, Atkins (could never stick to it long), Slim Fast repeatedly, just trying to eat healthier repeatedly, something that my sisters and I jokingly referred to as my amazing liquid diet plan (based on the post-WLS diets I read online)...yeah, that lasted about a week.

I've considered WLS, but my insurance will not cover it, and I've read lots of good reasons it's contraindicated in people with autoimmune diseases. I have a friend who's lost 79 pounds since gastric banding last year and I'm envious. She looks great!

I am a SAHM/Homeschooler and a freelance writer. My published pieces are grammatically correct...my board posts probably won't be! I have two lovely boys, aged 9 and 5, and a husband who has stood by me as I've gained 120 pounds since our marriage. He's never known me much below 200...I think I was about 190 when we met. My kids have always had an obese mom. I was 290 when my first son was born, and my little one has never seen me below that weight, either (though I did get down to 260 before conceiving my second child).

I constantly battle self-loathing because of my weight. I am frustrated with everything I've tried at, and failed. I look forward to learning more about what the rest of you are doing, and just plain getting help and support in trying to get healthier. Lately I feel like I don't know what to do or where to go, so I do nothing...but keep doing what I've been doing and I just keep gaining weight ever easier as the years go by. I just want to put the brakes on now, and never see 340 staring back at me on the scales. If this group can help me do that, I thank you sincerely in advance.

You made the first step by coming. I know it is hard.. trust me been there done that, As so many that are here have done. I know that myself and many others are here anytime you need to talk, we know what it feels like. we will not you. My kids always tell me how beautiful I am (though I agrue some of the time). they do not remember seeing me any smaller than I am now. that or maybe they remember me at 230 and that is their image of me.. I do not know.

Basically being accountable is first step. Whether it be for dieting or exercising .. I do not diet.. I am trying to learn to eat more than once or twice a day.. and making sure I make healthy decisions when I do eat . We all have our issues.. some worse than others.. some a cake walk.. We can all do it together and show the rest of the world what beautiful woman we are!

mamamuse -- WELCOME!!!

I hope you do find this to be as supportive a place as I have! Great for ideas and inspiration. If you join us on the numbered threads (where all the action is) you will get a nice sense of community -- but the board does move FAST!

I think we ALL understand how you feel. We've all been there.

For me, getting started involved committing myself to change (even though I didn't really believe in myself). I work, and started bringing lunches and snacks to work and watching portions. After a month or so I moved to calorie counting and now pay a lot more attention to nutrition.

But it was NOT something I could do all at once (others can and do it all at once, so it's a personal thing).

I know what you mean about getting below 200. I am not technically at a healthy weight, but I'm fine hanging out in the 170s for now!!

Welcome again!

I, too, have just recently joined 3fc. I saw your post under "new posts". Do spend some time reading posts throughout the forums. I think you'll find them amazingly encouraging, as I did. I was blown away by the success stories. At this point, I am impressed by anyone who can lose even 10 lbs. since I haven't been able to.

I think you have come to the right place to find others who will truly understand the pain you are feeling. I hope this is the turning point you have been waiting for. Remember to focus on all of the positive things about yourself, e.g. it sounds like you are a wonderful mom.

Mary

to 3FC! I find this to be an incredibly supportive place. I'm not necessarily looking to be really thin either - I just want to live a life of normalcy and not have to restrict what I can do because of my size.

For me the thing that has really worked is calorie counting. I started at about 2000 a day at my highest. I didn't lose super fast, but it gave me enough wiggle room to not feel deprived and then lash out, which had always happened before.

I love Atlanta! I lived there for about 7 years, both in the metro area – VaHighlands and Cabbagetown and to the North – Lawrenceville and Duluth. It’s such a nice place to live.

mamamuse!!! I am so glad you found us. This is a VERY supportive group of people. I've been posting here for a couple of years and have never seen any cattiness or cliqueyness. People come and go from the group, some go away for awhile and return, but whatever happens, it seems we welcome everyone back (or for the first time) with open arms.

I think we all can relate to your struggle of trying different diets without longterm success. I haven't found long-term success yet, but I believe this is the time. Progress has been slow-going for me because I am not perfect. And, for the first time, I feel like I am on this journey with an expectation that I won't be perfect. I WILL mess up, I WILL go off plan, I WILL have plateaus and even gains. In the past I would start a diet and, invariably, I would "mess up". I would be discouraged, give up, binge, gain weight, and start it all over again. This time I am going into it with the expection of straying because I am human and I am flawed, especially in the area of eating. It may seem crazy to start this process expecting to "mess up" but I find if I mentally give myself the freedom to do so, I do it less often, and when I do, I am much kinder to myself. In other words, I don't punish myself with bingeing and more weight gain all because I went off track a little bit. Sure, I could lose faster if I were 100% perfect 100% of the time, but it's just not feasible.

So my biggest word of advice for you would be "patience". Be patient with yourself to make changes slowly, be patient with yourself during the times you fall off the wagon, and be patient with your body as the weight starts to come off.

Welcome aboard and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Welcome! I've never posted on this board before, though I do enjoy reading the inspirational posts. However, mamamuse, we have so many similarities that I wanted to share some thoughts.

I work from home, too, also as a writer. Though it can be tempting to be at home with all of that food and no one to watch you eat it, it's also wonderful to be able to control the environment. I find that if I plan in advance and stock my kitchen with healthy foods, it is fairly easy to stay on plan. You and I don't have to worry about people offering us birthday cake, etc.!

I also love to swim. And I was also mortified at the thought of people seeing me in a swimming suit. Finally, I was brave enough to buy one and start swimming - and I LOVE IT! And guess what? I am only one of many, many obese women and men who use the pool for exercise. My swimming suit covers up most of my body from right above my knees to my neck. I am in complete admiration of the really heavy men who don't have the luxury of so much coverage. I would encourage you to go to your local pool and just watch for a session or two. I guarantee you will see others of similar or heavier weight in swimming suits, and their determination will likely be an inspiration for you. Of course, my swimming suit is now getting too large for me. It's quite bittersweet, as I love the fact that I am shrinking, but hate the thought of giving up an item that has helped me so much in beginning to reach my goals.

So, welcome to 3FC! I'm counting on watching you progress so that when I experience a setback, I will know that someone in a similar situation to me is accomplishing this weight loss along with me!

Hi and welcome! I have been with this forum for about a month, give or take, and I have already lost my first 20 lbs (woo-hoo for me) and I owe it largely to reading the inspirational and supportive posts here. I just, love, love love this group Everyone here is generous and supporting of each other and I check in every day, if only for a minute and even if I don't post. We all understand the difficult relationship with food and I, as I am sure most of the others here, are your staunchest supporters.

Again,

For your brave decision Because I KNOW you're going to do great! and

Hiya mamamuse,

Welcome, I am a newbies as well.. I have found this site so encouraging and inspiring.. I know you will too!

My name is Rochelle and I'm 31 live in Connecticut.. a stay at home wifey

I hope to see youa round the site.. nice meeting you!

Rochelle

Welcome, welcome, welcome. You're a writer--does that mean you're a reader too?

When I don't get exercise any other way, I take a book and sit on my exer-cycle and bike slowly at low resistance while I read. It's not high-intensity cardio, but it's a little exercise I wouldn't get otherwise, and if I have a book in front of me I don't mind doing it at all.

Stick around! Come back even if things seem to go south--it helps, really it does.

I can agree with you I would love to just get under 200lbs. I havent been there since I was 13 years old!

I struggle a lot with staying on a good eating plan and working out. I have lost a little bit of the weight I need too but plan to keep my eye on the prize.

I am new here too, but I have found that no one here is rude. People here are so supportive and kind.

I know you can lose the lbs!

Hi, Welcome! This is a great site, a great board. I don't think I have every encountered any cattiness or the like here at all.

What really changed this time for me, was exercise. I know you said you cannot do much in that way, but do anything you can.

How I started was watching tv late at night lifting free weights--I think they were about a pound each. Then I started doubling them up. Wow, after about three weeks, I noticed how strong my arms felt and I could FLEX. OMG--I have always been a weakling. That excited me to no end. Even now, I sometimes secretely feel my arms ROFL. It's like magic!

I have a cheap stationary bike at home, I think it was just over a hundred dollars--and it only has wind resistance.

When I first started out on it I could only last just over 10 mins. So, that's what I did. For three days, I did ten mins. For three more days, I did 12 minutes, three days afer that, 14, then 15 and so on. Now, I can stay on there easily for 45 mins to an hour and I have a new bike (a professional one that was given to me with tons of resistance). Now, I can not only get up hills without dying while my skinny friends pass out behind me but I can run up stairs. 4 months ago, I got tired putting on my shoes.

I still have a long way to go fitness wise, but as you take it tiny step by tiny step, you realize that's how it's done.

And so the same with counting calories .... yeah, you may go off of your sensible eating plan for a few days here, a few days there ... but guess what? It's cumulative .... after a whole year, if you had a majority of days with less calories then you needed .. you will have lost something.

Hmmmm I thought I had responded in this thread before but guess not! But do want to say to all the newbies here and to encourage you to explore the forum and especially to join us in the numbered threads here in this section. There is a lot of support and encouragement to be found!

I understand exactly how you feel-- I love to write myself (for fun) and am quite a ways from reaching under 200 pounds.

I've done yo-yo dieting/exercise and the fit for life diet plan when I was a teenager. Now in my 20s, I think I figured out my own way to eat and not feel deprived-- my main problem was eating too many processed carbs (i.e. meaning bread products, snack bars, etc).

My trick was simply limiting those kinds of carbs to one or two meals a day; that sure freed up my calorie intake to snack on multiple fruit bars and veggies like you wouldn't believe!

It actually got to the point, where I'd have to buy those special 100 calorie snacks and have them on standby to include in any one given meal so I wouldn't go under 1200 calories per day (that was beginning to be a pain in the neck-- eating more than I expected to in low-calorie fruits and veggies aside from meat & bread meals).

So far, I haven't felt deprived at all (food wise)! T'care and I hope you can find a exercise/food method that works for you!