Will I ever be able to stick with anything for more than a day? Sometimes I feel like the flakiest person in the world. I'll start a diet and a day later I'm off track. My god, will this ever stop. Dieting has become the only thing I think about all day long, yet I cannot stick to anything. It has become my lifes mission to lose weight. I have spent thousands of dollars on diets and exercise programs. I'm lucky that my husband hasn't left me yet. I feel like a gerbil on a wheel. Around and around I go. The problem is that I never make progress and lose weight. I cry almost everyday about my weight and try to formulate a plan that I can stick to. Is there anyone out there that has done this? How did you overcome it? I feel as if I never will. If someone offers me sugar or junk food I cannot turn it down even though I know it's sooo bad for me and then I end up overeating. Any inspirational stories are deperately needed Thank you all so much for listening.

JessP, I've been through periods like that in my life. I just could not get into eating right. Then, I tried a plan that was a bit different, and I lost 5 lbs. in one week. Although I'm no longer on that plan, losing that 5 lbs. gave me the motivation I need to continue. Now, I zigzag calories (have some high days, some low days, so that a week of calories equals 10,500), and I've been sticking to it with no big problems so far. It gives me the leeway to "pig out" (within reason) on some days. Knowing that I can let loose a few days a week has helped me stay on program.

Maybe something like that would work for you?

You can do this JessP!

I, like you, wanted to lose weight for a long time but I just kept eating the way I always ate and it didn't work . Finally I decided to just take baby steps. One healthy meal at a time. Suddenly it was two healthy meals a day and so on. Just say "No" to some of those treats it does get easier the more you do it. And the more you add in healthy foods and say "no" a few more times you start feeling stronger and proud of yourself and start thinking "Maybe I can do this"

Now I'm a really slow loser and I know I could probably lose a little faster if I worked a little harder but I do still add the occasional restaurant meal and I do have the occasional treat . But you know what? This is a life style change for me and I have to do what works for me. I eat a lot healthier now then I did before and I know what a portion size looks like. I also log my food in "Fitday" so I can kind of stay on plan (most of the time) I still haven't really added a lot of exercise yet which I know would help a lot, but as I said "Baby Steps" for me

So, it's not really so overwhelming if you just take it one day at a time and think of it as learning to eat a little better.

You can do this. I know you can

Stick around. There's lots of help and good advise around here

Hey JessP,

What a rough time you have had. I'm so sorry it's been like that!

I'm sure you'll have many other members posting in reply--but I just wanted to say that sometimes changing just one little thing at a time will work better than a larger plan. For example--suppose you drink regular sugary sodas. Well, a small change would be to replace them with the diet versions. Or, as an alternative, dilute the soda by half with sparkling water.

As another example, choose to begin by drinking more water during the day. Just that! And it doesn't have to be huge--just, say, three regular glasses of water during the day. Set times if you have to, to make sure you do it.

Another example would be to choose to eat a fruit or some fresh fruit salad instead of having a doughnut or pastry in the morning.

I don't know whether any of these apply to you or not--they are only examples of making one small change and carrying through with it. Keep going with your one small change, one day at a time for awhile. Don't even think in terms of "diet," because that seems to be a word that triggers a problem for you. Think of it as an experiment in changing.

Jay
P.S. abbyin, you and I were posting at the same time!

Hi Jess. It's very difficult. It's taken me over 20 years to get it together. I really don't have any words of wisdom, I wish that I did. Unfortunately it has to come from within.

You must dig down deep and try and realize that you don't have to live this way. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. You must realize once and for all that food is just not that important. That it's waaaay more important to be happy, fit and HEALTHY. You must realize that you deserve to have the opportunity for the best life possible. That there's no reason for settling for second best when first is well within your grasp. You must make the DECISION to put your weightloss efforts front and center.

The best thing I did was I started a simple journal and wrote in it all the reasons why I wanted to lose the weight. Health, activity level, being there for my kids, vanity, clothes shopping, all the things I was missing out on and on and on and on. I wrote in my hopes and dreams and goals and when I had the urge to eat I would read it and add to it. This really helped me in the beginning.

The first few weeks were indeed very difficult, but I made a commitment to myself to give it a 100% effort. That I would stick to it NO MATTER WHAT. After those few difficult weeks it really did get much, much, MUCH easier. I saw some results on the scale, my clothing fit me better, I felt better, the cravings slowed down greatly, I got more used to my new lifestyle. All these things proplled me to keep going. At that point it really snowballs. People start noticing which is very, very rewarding. You actually get excited and you want to stay on plan. You get closer to your hopes and dreams. They start becoming a reality. What once seemed impossible is actually HAPPENING.

Jess, good luck to you. Please know that you absolutely, positively CAN do this. Any sacrifices you think you are making are without a doubt worth it. The rewards are just so great.

I like the "baby steps" advice. I started keeping a food journal - not to log calories, but just to keep me honest about what was going in my mouth. That alone is helpful. Then I did the Bob Greene thing - I tackled the "when" part first, and limited my eating to 3 meals and a snack. No food restrictions other than stop when you feel satisfied (physically, that is). So if I wanted something "bad", that was really OK, as long as it was part of my allotted meal or snack. The hardest one was giving up eating after dinner. That was tough, but has gotten much, much easier over time. I guess the bottom line is that I tackled my "food behaviour" instead of getting hypervigilant about portions/points/calories/fat grams/carbs, etc. The weight loss is slower, but I'm feeling so much more in control than I was.

This has to be a permanent change, so only make changes that you can see yourself being able to live with for the long term. Telling yourself "no more sugar" may not be realistic (it is for some people, but I know I couldn't do it). So try to think of things you CAN do, and don't beat yourself up over changes that you just can't commit to yet.

And look in the "Goal" forum - there is more motivation there than you can shake a stick at!

Baby steps.

You sound alot like I used to ....I am going to be PERFECT and eat this and that and NEVER eat that and exercise EVERY day and then KABOOM

You dont need to be perfect. Every time you make a change/plan/promise STOP and say..."is this realistic to do this everyday for the rest of my life".

Part of the anger is making promises to yourself that you cant keep. Only make promises you can keep. Maybe just start with

"I am going to write down everything I eat, good, bad whatever and be completely honest about it" Gain some perspective.

I have been there, too.

One thing to note is that when you've got the sugar in your system, and are pumped full of starch, it's extremely difficult to turn away more decadent food, even if you know it would be a better decision not to eat it.
I used to think I was a weak-willed loser who could not stay on plan for more than 2 days before caving. I was wrong. The truth was, I was using the wrong technique for me. Once I got the sugar and the white flour out,
my body felt cleaner, my mind got clearer, and it was 95% easier to resist the bad stuff. I still buy crap for my dh and haven't eaten any of it. It helps to really know your trigger foods, those foods that will call to you in a big way..and you could eat the whole package if you had the chance. Then don't buy those foods. Ever. I did- fooled myself into thinking they were for ds--lol
I cannot stay away from soft cookies..and I got him some soft banana bear claws ...needless to say they were gone fast..lol So I don't buy soft cookies and the world hadn't stopped yet..lol

The other problem I really had was the all/nothing mentality. Up until now, I've always had this problem..although I knew it was ridiculous- I couldnt help thinking, well now I blew it ..might as well have the whole cake..etc..
I think this is the single most damaging thing we can do to sabotage ourselves and ultimately why most people go off plan and stay off..once you "fall off the wagon" its hard to get back on....
BUT the way I look at it now, and it's been really helpful..is, to look at the food I ate in terms of energy units..so say I went for one snackie bar, and ended up eating the whole box of 8 !! Sounds extreme? Extreme enough to order in some chinese food? Well, let's do the math.
One snackie bar is 110 calories, so the box of 8 is 880 calories. it takes 3500 EXTRA calories to equal just a one pound fat gain, so that means you only ingested about a quarter of a lb. of energy. Who cares? You could have that off tomorrow! Ride your exercise bike for an hour and you get rid of 480 of that 880..the number keeps looking smaller and smaller..kwim?
When you look at it in context of just energy consumed it really is not a big deal. Even if you had a super mega binge and had 3500 cals in one sitting...its' still only a lb. you can peel that right back off in less than a week. Its so not worth screwing up the plan for. Not even a blip on the radar in the grand scheme..

BTW this thought process also helps a lot if you are the type to binge and then hop on the scale the next morning..and see a gain of 4lbs due to water retention from the sodium and extra carbs...
you can tel yourself, now logically I KNOW I didn't eat 4lbs worth of evnergy; lets give it a few days and see what happens

I am going to share a story with you...maybe it will help.

I started this journey on November 15th 2006. I set an initial calorie target of 2000 calories (I am nursing). First day 2300 calories because I just wasnt used to counting and dinner was larger than I expected and whoops I forgot about this and that. No biggie...just a warm up

2 days later I went to a party. I was determined to be good, I allocated 400 calories for the party (after dinner), made sure not to go hungry

I gorged.

Stuffed

Never left the buffet.

I'm thinking "2 freaking days into my diet and look at that" But for the first time in my life I said. "Oh well, cant undo it, just move on". And step one was to as honestly as possible write down and estimate everything I ate at the party (1985 calories for a total day of 3600)

And I didnt penalize myself and I didnt starve myself to "make up for it". I just looked at it and said "Huh...1600 calories over plan...thats just shy of 1/2 lb... Not a tragedy"

And the next day I ate on plan. And the day after that. and the day after that. And on day 7 I had lost some weight.

And my plan does not include perfection.

And I still have major issues at parties, holidays and gatherings. But I have gained control in other situations slowly. Small steps. Small steps. day 3 was too soon to expect to be able to change a life time of party gorging. I was not ready for that step yet.

Work on the steps you are ready for. Dont beat yourself up about what you are NOT yet ready to tackle.

boy...you really hit a nerve because I cant stop posting

This is a process...it is a learning process. Setting out an ideal plan is great and all, but even EXPERTS can't agree on the "one best way" so how can you expect to pick the BEST plan for you on day 1?

I lay out a plan but along the way I had to learn

What kind of breakfast keeps me MOST satisfied? Is there a correlation? If I eat more breakfast do I eat less later? What if I eat more/less protein? What situations tend to throw me for a loop? What foods am I REALLY craving and which are just habit? What foods can I keep in the house and eat in moderation? What foods do I have to eat only away from the house? What foods are such strong triggers for me that I should avoid them entirely?

You CANT know all these answers right now. Even if you THINK you do you may be surprised. Such as I was SHOCKED to learn that whipped cream, which I dont particularly care for, is one of my worst trigger foods. Stronger than icecream, chocolate or pizza, all of which I love. Even coolwhip, which I detest, is a horrendous trigger for me. I would NEVER have guessed that.

Focus on what you did WELL today, look at what didnt go as planned and ask "what can I do to get through that situation better"

For example the strategy of "just say no" doesnt work for you for offered treats, and doesnt work for me for parties. So dont RELY on it. Brainstorm alternative methods. Some may work, some may not.

Good luck!

What other posters have mentioned--baby steps, not seeking perfection...--are very good pieces of advice to start with. I'd also add that maybe you need to sit down and think about what exactly would work for you in terms of a 'meal plan', because this can be extremely important, and either set you up for success or failure. For instance, I am definitely a carbs person (and by this I don't mean cookies but cereals, fruits and veggies--the 'good carbs', just in lower quantities) so a plan like, say, Atkins would set me up for failure right from the start. If it's the same for you, maybe your previous attempts have also contained such elements that could make it all the most harder for you?

And yes, don't think of it as a 'diet', that word has taken on evil meanings and immediately brings forth feelings of deprivation and eating salad every day (or some such). Just one healthy meal at a time could do it. Perhaps also avoid parties/gatherings for a week or two, if possible, so that you don't have to be shoved food in your face even in the very beginning? (Whatever excuse works, by the way--as long as it's not "I'm on a diet", because most people will then probably try to push food towards you all the same. *coughs*)

And above all, no "all and nothing" mentality. It's hard to get rid of it, but keeping it is more destructive than anything else IMHO. Ennay is perfectly right, we need to put those things back into perspective. (The breakfast advice is also pretty good.)