Good Morning Everybody!
Eleni, to bad you lost your post, that has happened to me twice and it is such a drag, especially if you are a hunt and peck typist like me.
I am not hyped on weight loss as weight loss alone. I am hyped on the way it makes me feel and on being back on the road to good health. If you feel I was offering you pity, forgive me, I was trying to be helpful. I have not really gotten into the whys and the wherefores of becoming heavy, but they are not very pretty.
I will try and share my story as best I can and hopefully you can see why I feel so good now. I can also see why people would not post when they are not losing, but it is then that you really need support. How can we offer the best support?
Ok, Why and How
Since my son was born almost 19 years ago I have been Hypo Thyroid. Before being diagnosed I reached almost 170 lbs. After diagnose and medication I dropped 25 lbs. almost immediately and exercise and my job (my work at that point was extremely physical) and a brutal divorce took care of the rest.
For many I years remained between 132-137 with little effort on my part. Also left to my own devices I am a naturally lean eater, I like my veggies, I love homemade soup, I prefer a stirfry to a roast etc..
I accepted a position in a new location, moved, married my husband. I now had a desk job, and a man to cook for. Before I knew it I was 150. Back to the gym for me.
Then a new baby, quitting smoking, up 15 lbs. Back to the gym for me.
Flash-forward to 1997, new job, tons of responsibilities, stress, stress, and more stress. I was away from home for extended periods, re-engineered my department and had the most abusive and power-hungry boss you can imagine. I filed a harassment suit. If any of you have done this, you know how awful and hard it is to admit you can not handle a problem on your own. Stress and thyroid problems do not mix well, and my thyroid was out of control. My numbers where off the chart on dose of 75 mg and eventually I was bumped all the way to 300 mg and still was in the low range of normal. There where months I gained 30 lbs.
I began having severe cramps and a mass the size of a brick was located on my right ovary. More stress, surgery, and I was still dealing with my harassment suit.
In 1998, my boss was dismissed. I went back to my job but I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I was also 220 lbs.
In 1999 my husband was offered a lucrative position in our current location. He accepted and because of contractual obligations I remained behind for almost a year, working, running the house and taking care of the kids. In July of 2000 I sold the house and moved. I was at the end of my endurance.
We had purchased a small acreage and wanted to start construction after I was in town. I was so excited, we could have pony, some chickens, I would never have to work, we were set. Because of the rental situation we had to move into a tiny, run down house. Most of our things went into storage. No big deal, i told the kids pretend like we are camping. While we where designing and contacting our new house my husband was informed that we would most likely be moved within the next 5 yr. AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGGGG
There is no resale value on new homes in Moose Jaw. I consulted a realtor who strongly advised us NOT to build.
So now I had no identity. I was not a person with a job of any description, I lived in a bug infested rental I was too embarrassed to invite any one into (not that I knew anyone)I had no freinds, I had no direction for my life.
I spiraled into a severe depression. Everyone was worried out of their minds for me, but I didn’t care. I ate. I slept. I ate some more.
I don’t know what snapped in me but I got it together. I got out of bed and I bought a house. A 100 year old, 4 bedroom. Then I moved all our things.
The one person I knew was my neighbor, the mother of my daughter’s new friend. She suggested I join Tops with her. When they told me I weighed 253 lbs. I think I went into shock. I was a walking time bomb. Stroke, heart disease, diabetes. I had to take action. I want to attend my daughters grad, I want to see my grandchildren. I want to go on a cruise.
I booked a doctors appt,. Saw a dietician, researched workouts that I could do and went to it. I guess I had a job again.
I ate sensibly. I refused to eat the stuff my man likes, high fat, high sodium, high cal foods. I cook seperately for myself and from day one I tried to exercise. Just climbing the stairs in those days was an effort, so I made my self use the upstairs bathroom. I did the portions of my workout, Bottoms up, that I could do and I pushed myself to do more. I put my treadmill back together and at first I could only do 10-15 min. of walking. It was very hard, but gradually it became easier and I became more fit. I still have long way to go, but I will get there.
Where I was just too ugly too ever go back.
If I have depressed anybody with this long monologue I am sorry. I find a great deal of comfort coming here and talking to you all. I enjoy your support and company and best of all, you get it. You understand what it is to be unhappy with where you are, and know where you want to be. I wish you all Gods’ Speed in getting there. If I can help you in anyway, let me know, I will try my best.
If my posts sounded like bragging, forgive me, I never intended them to. I am amazed, excited, and gratified to be here and finally, after so long, every day just gets better and better.
CC
Wish I didn't have to go but can't play hooky.