Trying to keep believing

  • I've been abstinent for 61 days (yay!) and it's been a fantastic emotional and spiritual recovery. My life has gotten a lot better, in so many ways that I can't even list them all. I have no desire to "go back", and no urge to break my abstinence.

    The problem is, in the last....mmm....52 days, I've had next to no physical recovery at all. I've lost two pounds, and those just in the last week. I am grateful of the spiritual and emotional recovery, don't get me wrong, but part of going to OA is about weight loss, too. And two pounds for 52 days of effort?

    My abstinence is very clean, no sugar or flour or fried foods. I don't count calories, but I also don't eat compulsively and I don't eat unless I'm hungry, and I don't eat until I'm stuffed. I stop when I'm comfortable. Isn't that how we're supposed to gauge the amount of food we need? I'm baffled.

    My sponsor keeps telling me that the physical recovery will come, and I just need to believe that my HP has a plan for me. It's getting really hard to believe, though. I don't know what to do next. I know if I start counting calories or restricting the compulsions will come back, and I don't want that. I'm hearing the voice of my disease (I call him Mortimer) in my head a lot, these last three days. I've been resisting, and telling him to shut up. But I honestly don't know what to do next. Any ideas?
  • Oh geez, 2 lbs for that much effort--that would have me wanting to cry and give in too. (((Hugs)))
    I'm just a newbie here, so I don't have any advice... (where are you Marny?!!?)

    I just wanted you to know that someone was here...and wowing at your 62 day abstinence and healthy lifestyle. Congrats to that! I'm hoping someday I can say the same...your post was inspiring even without the physical changes we're all hoping for.

    I hope others have insight on why your body isn't kicking in yet. Maybe it's in shock!

    Take Care & "Shut up Mortimer!"
  • Hey there. Yep, I'd be disappointed with 2 lbs too-- but that's because I want what I want when I want it. Your sponsor is very, very wise to point out that your HP has a plan for you. Yes, weightloss will come. It comes differently for all of us.

    Since your spiritual program is going well, perhaps it's time to look at portion control? Counting calories isn't the only way to calculate portions. Some people (like me) have a lot of success by balancing their carb and protien ratio. Perhaps taking a look at what you are eating will hold some clues. Are your meals mainly grains, starches, fruits, and vegetables? Are you getting enough protien? Talk with your sponsor about it.