HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:
>>>
>>> 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is:
>>> "FEE-NICKS".
>>>
>>> 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush
>>> hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
>>> morning.
>>>
>>> 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop
>>> 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything
>>> less is considered "Wussy".
>>>
>>> 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its
>>> own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the
>>> loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the
>>> biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell
>>> phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
>>>
>>> 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
>>> cussed out, and possibly shot.
>>>
>>> 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that
>>> can get you shot.
>>>
>>> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour
>>> barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the
>>> middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
>>> exciting.
>>>
>>> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
>>> barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires,
>>> squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the
>>> coyotes feeding on any of these items.
>>>
>>> 9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same
>>> road. SR 202 is the s ame road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and
>>> Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but
>>> they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon
>>> Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway. And if all that
>>> isn't enough to remember SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa
>>> Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy pronounce. SR 101
>>> is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which also The Black
>>> Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd.
>>> becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd.
>>> where it dead ends at a mountain.
>>>
>>> 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
>>> shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
>>> activated."
>>>>>> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65
>>>>>> mph zone,
>>> you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
>>> accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
>>>
>>> 12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your
>>> hands.
>>>
>>>
