I feel as though I'm doomed.

For several days I didn't binge - and was actually losing. The next day [yesterday], I couldn't stop eating. And it wasn't so much the hunger [because I really wasn't] but just feeding emotions, boredom, or figuring I'd already blown the day, so I might as well reeeeaaallly blow it. Well, I weighed myself today and that one day of I've added 5-6 lbs of extra weight. Is that possible? I just want to scream. It happened the time I cheated a week or two earlier, as well.

I know I ate poorly and too much - but I feel like there is something very messed up with my body that would leave me that much heavier in one day. Does this seem right to anyone else? How much can a body gain within 24 hours?

On top of that, I've been logging my calories into a site that calculates how many calories I should eat for my goal. I'm suppose to eat around 1400 for goal in addition to eating back whatever calories I burn from exercise. So, say I burn 400 calories from my aerobics class, well, that means I have to consume 1800 calories to maintain body functions, etc.

Does anyone else have experience with eating back their calories? What is the point of exercising? I've never heard of this before!

I'm really about to give up and be the fat girl for the rest of my life. Nobody seems to really have any advice in my real life to give and I find only conflicting things on the internet that leave me even further confused then I was to start.

I really wanted to finally do this - but I'm starting to believe I just can't. If I fall off the wagon for a day, I'm set back like a week or more. That just doesn't seem right.

Please, I know nobody can say what's best for me than a doctor or nutritionist [but I'm without any medical coverage] - I just want to hear from someone what to do! What worked for them. Inspiration or something I guess.

I don't want this weight to consume my life or my health - but I don't know how to stop it.

I am so confused and ready to cry and give up.
~Annie.

Sorry... you must have not read the memo. Giving up isn't allowed here!

You CAN do it. Look, you've lost 23 lbs. TWENTY THREE! That is a huge accomplishment! The easy thing to do is give up. It's MUCH easier to just say, "I can't do this". It's easy because it enables you to do nothing and not feel guilty about it. Wanting it is not enough. It's easy to want things. The hard part is to give every ounce of your commitment to GETTING what you want. Weight loss isn't rocket science. You need to burn more calories than you take in. The hard part is staying accountable, and staying committed- even when it's hard, and even when it sucks.

Journal. Read your journals and figure out why, when, and what you eat. If it's boredom, find hobbies. You may have to tell yourself several times a day, 'I'm not hungry. I don't really want this cookie/cake/chip, I am just trying to fill a void'. No one can tell you what the void is, but somewhere inside- you know what it is. Are you lonely? If you are, try joining the Y or a gym and talk to other women there. Are you bored? Find a hobby. Maybe you'll like gardening, scrap booking, or walking. If you're depressed, talk to someone. Call a friend or a relative, and just talk. But don't let food rule your life. If you want this, then you have to commit yourself completely. Get rid of the junk- just throw it away. Keep healthy snacks around. Maybe you'll need to be very disciplined and plan your meals and snacks. Make a menu and schedule when you'll eat those foods. Maybe that will help you until it becomes routine. If you're not motivated to get out and walk or go to the gym... well, no one is going to drag you there. Sometimes you just have to make yourself do it. Don't give yourself a choice. I know what it's like to want to give up, and I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can count. But tomorrow is a new day, and every day is a choice. Don't let food make your choices. Be a strong woman who is completely capable of controlling her urges. Prove yourself wrong. Tell yourself that you can do this. If it takes keeping no junk food in the house, or sleeping in your gym clothes, or scheduling your meals, or putting motivational phrases/pictures on the fridge and pantry- then do it. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself accountable, because in the end- you're the only one who can. And lastly, POST HERE! I have found that the more that I post and discuss healthy eating/living, the more it becomes a 'mantra' for me. Everyone here knows what you're going through, and everyone has been there. That means that you have something in common with each one of us, and so you should feel right at home!

Don't give up!! So, you've had a setback. It's not the end of the world. You have already lost 23lbs!! That's more than I've lost so far! And yes, it's totally possible to gain that much weight in 24 hours, BUT I suspect a lot of it is water weight. Especially if you were eating salty foods. I ate pizza last week and the next morning the scale said I'd gained 4LBS! Even though I only went over my daily calories by 200-300! In a few hours, 2 of the lbs were already gone. Heck, even when I DO eat on plan, I weigh anywhere from 3-5lbs heavier in the evening than I did that morning.

When I quit smoking after 21 years, I picked up knitting. It kept my hands busy. Something like that might help you. When you want to binge, come here and read success stories. Or post! Or look at a photo album...that always cheers me up!

But don't give up! Because you're worth it!

Seconded. To gain 6 lbs you'd have had to consume about 21,000 (3,500 X 6) calories in one day (since 1 lbs of real weight gain equals roughly to absorbing 3,500 calories). Even on a binge, even on a "might blow it off completely" day, I very much doubt you have done that! Most of it must be water weight/a temporary reaction, especially if you've eaten sodium/salty stuff, and even more especially if you don't do that very often. Yes, it can take a few days to see it disappear on the scale, but it is highly doubtful that it's RAW fat!

Please don't give up. We all have our setbacks, our lapses and even relapses, but I say the essential part is to not let the relapse become a collapse. There is no "I've blown it all completely and forever" until WE decide there is (I know, it's happened to me, and looking back to it, that was the stupidest and lamest excuse I've made to myself. Duh). Journaling, logging/writing down your foods, giving yourself pep talks, taking upon knitting and generally keeping your hands busy... those are pieces of advice that can work (it all depends on the person, we have to find what works for US) and help putting things back on track. Maybe by journaling you would also find a reason to the emotional eating, and this would help as well?

But don't give up.

Also remember that the extra food that you ate has a weight, too. Eating something that weight 8 ounces will show up as 8 extra ounces if you step on the scale after eating it. That, plus the water weight probably accounts for most of your weight gain. Let's just say a good amount of that will probably just pass through you over the next few days, and your weight will go down as long as you don't continue to overeat.

NO GIVING UP ALLOWED!!!!

You can't give up, you just can't. It's too important and believe it or not, it's extremely, extremely doable. I felt the same exact way as you. I never really believed that I could lose the weight. Well I was WRONG. But it only occured when I changed my frame of mind. I finally realized that I could indeed change my weight. It was within my power. It was within my control. The thing is you have to want it badly enough. Really, really badly enough. I know that that sounds simple. But that is what it boils down to. You need to make the decision to lose the weight. You have to be willing to give up certain things in hopes of gaining a better, healthier and happier life. The rewards are just so incredibly great that any sacrifices are more then worth it. And it doesn't take getting all the way to goal to realize that. The benefits come way, way, way sooner. You will start looking and feeling so much better just 15 lbs or so into your journey. Those early benefits will motivate you and propel you to go further.

Some things to start with:

- Make a simple journal. Write all the reasons why you want to lose the weight. Write your goals and dreams in it. Refer to it often, whenever you feel the urge to eat. Add to it as need be. Keep a weight log in there as well.
-Empty your house of all junk food. Stock it with healthy foods. If a craving hits, well then you'll just have to suffice with a couple of cucumbers. That can't do too much damage.
-Elminate the foods you crave the most and have no discipline with. If you have no discipline with them, well then you're probably better off without them all together. I know that sounds crazy. But by doing this, within a few weeks time, oddly enough you will no longer crave them. It's true! Within a short time, you won't even miss it.
-Plan ahead. This is vital. I map out my menus for a week ahead of time. This way there are no surprises come meal time. Make every meal/snack a good choice. Low fat proteins, high fiber, lots of fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains. Find foods that you like. Check out all the various forums here at 3FC for food plans. Experiment.
-Drink lots of water. This will help keep you full, keep you hydrated and keep your mouth busy. Get into the habit. It's a good one to have.
-Add exercise and activity to your day. In the beginning I started out slowly with exercise and increased as I went on. Take a 20 minute walk 5 x a week. Gradually increase the minutes. Gradually increase other exercise as well. Get off the couch. Get some fitness DVDs. Make this as important as brushing your teeth. You wouldn't dream of skipping that.
-You go off track, oh well, it happens to all of us. Don't let one bad meal derail you. The entire day IS NOT SHOT. Don't beat yourself up over it. Don't let it turn into a day or days or G-d forbid a week. Times a wastin'. You need to get back with the program.
-Track your calories on line if you like. I would start out @ 1600 or so. And don't ADD on calories if you exercise. That would be counterproductive.
-Find things other then food to keep you busy. Food is not there for entertainment, consolement or anger management. Read, write, journal, watch TV, exercise, do your nails, straighten up your house, take a bath, knit, talk on the phone, go to your computer.
-Take your love of food and make it into a positive. Read up on nutrition, find low cal recipes. Plan ahead.
-Please check out the 100 lb club forum here at 3FC, found in the Support Section. There are lots of people there in the same exact situation as you, all in various stages of our journeys. There are great threads there that will help keep you accountable and motivated. Join in.
-Get excited. Because it's EXCITING. Every time you pass up the "bad" food, you are getting closer to a better YOU. Don't look at it as what you are giving up, the high quantity/high calorie food. Look at it as what you are GAINING. A happier, healthier, fitter, more productive life. Full of much, much, MUCH more joy and waaaay less worries. A better life is well within your grasp. You've just got to reach out for it. It's there. I promise you.
-I thought I was addicted to food. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. This much I can tell you - I am way more "addicted" to the weightloss and all the wonderful things it brings about, then I ever was the food. And you will be too.

Good luck to you. You absolutely, positively CAN do this. Eating less and moving more will result in weightloss. Say it over and over again if you need to. Eating less and moving more will result in weightloss.

Hey Anniemal, don't give up!

Short answers:

Water weight can add that much--the body retains water when suddenly foods change upward like that. So some of that is water.

If you stay on plan for several days and then binge, you pretty much cancel out the days on plan. You need to string together a longer period of staying with your plan. Check over in the Chicks in Control forum--they may have tips on avoiding binges.

You do not have to eat back your calories from exercise. Exercise gives you some leeway, but if the calculators and estimates are wrong, you could gain weight that way. The idea is that you eat less than what your body burns, and so your body makes up the difference by burning fat reserves. The reason exercise is good is that muscle burns fat the best, and also exercise keeps the muscle from getting used up for energy instead of the fat.

So, a typical program might look like this (made up numbers):
Calories burned: 1800.
Calories eaten: 1300.
Difference: 500.
This would theoretically mean a loss of a pound a week. In reality things vary a lot--1 pound a week would be the average over time. These number also show that if one goes off plan one day and eats 2000 cals, weight loss is changed.

If what you are doing isn't working, revise what you're doing! Hang in there!

Jay

I am bad to do well for a few days, then binge. This causes me to want to throw in the towel too. I think, well get real Stacy, you are never going to make it. Then i think, well, i made it once, so i know i can make it again. So what helps me to at least *control* my binge is that i have ONE day a week, fridays, that i allow myself to go off plan. I dont PLAN on binging that day, but i am allowed to have a biscuit for breakfast if that is what i have been wanting, i am allowed to have chinese for lunch with fried rice, yes, fried rice, but ONLY on friday. That is the only way i can do it. Others can go months without going off plan, not me. We are all different. If i KNOW i can have it on friday, i dont HAVE TO have it on wednesday. I can tell myself, oh come on, you can hold on for two more days, then you can have it. I can get through the week that way. Especially since this is the way i am going to be eating for the rest of my life. I cant say "I can never eat a big mac again"...this way, if that is really what i want, come friday, i can have it.

So chin up gal. Come up with a way that works for you.

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! Well have our bad days, but please don't give up!! You can do this!

Well rockinrobin took all my best ideas (I have all those listed in my blog). My suggestion on the desire to quit? DON'T! It is OK to treat yourself once in awhile, we all fall off the bandwagon. The object is to get back on TOMORROW. Not next Monday, Not the 1st of the month, but TOMORROW. And I have learned not to beat myself up over a cheat. It's not worth it. You know the saying about "learning from your mistakes"? Well, the 1st step is to realize you made the mistake, and then learn how to correct it, and eventually you will have mastered it. This weight loss thing is not an overnight thing, this is a lifestyle change. Just keep on training yourself to do better, and you will

Annie--I hate to tell you, but you ARE doing it. You are already down 23 pounds, which is enormous. You have lost an entire one year old! That is amazing. Soon, you will lose a toddler and eventually the whole teen ager that you are working toward. It takes time.

You fell off the wagon. Of course you did. We all do. Somedays, we just lack the key to control. For me, if I don't have enough sleep, I just don't have the willpower to say 'no'.

So walk away from that bad day. Leave it in your past. It is over. Look ahead to what you can do:

change your routine--find a way to stay out of the kitchen

start throwing things out--got junk food in the house? throw it out--next time you binge, your choices will be carrots, whole grain pasta and a berry smoothie

when you feel the urge to eat, write down how you feel in your heart. i learned I am a boredom eater. When it happens, I go clean something. Better body, better house.

Find a friend you can call. When I want to start down the path of destruction I have two other women that I can call and say, "tell me to put away the chocolate chips I was saving for the kids' treat this weekend" and they do. Then we talk about something other than food, and I forget that I wanted to the chips. Or they will say, "Have 10, then put them away."

Walking around the house grazing? Take your feet outside and walk around the neighborhood. Take yourself to the mall and smell all the Yankee Candles. It is almost as good as eating. Do NOT walk past the food court.

Bored? Try something new. Have a plan for when you are feeling like you need to munch. "The next time I feel like I need to munch, I am going to try..." and think of a new activity. A climbing wall, knitting, painting....anything but gourmet cooking.

Annie, again, you ARE doing it, you just had a setback. Shake it off and start again today.

Well as my great Aunt Evelyn used to always say: "Can't never could do anything!"

Giving up will not get you to your desired goal. The only thing giving up was ever good for was nothing at all.

You're certainly allowed a bad day. You're allowed to mess up - you're a HUMAN BEING, right? That means you're allowed to BE human. Stop berating yourself over the bad things you've done & start cheering yourself for the GOOD things. TWENTY-THREE POUNDS DOWN - WOO HOO!!!!!! THAT is a helluva accomplishment! Don't you dare slap yourself for not losing 24 or 25 or 30 or 40 pounds..... GET EXCITED over the 23 you HAVE lost!

Your attitude will make or break you in everything you set out to do in life, and dieting is no different.

So stop feeling sorry for yourself... pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on track. So you messed up! - BIG DEAL! - WE ALL DO! - and you'll do it again! Why? Back to that BEING HUMAN thing! - just make it a point that when you DO mess up, GET BACK ON TRACK as soon as possible! Do NOT kick yourself & DO NOT give up! Don't say "I just CAN'T do this!" because the fact of the matter is that YOU ARE DOING THIS!

And remember.... "can't never could" do anything.

What dieter has not done what you have done ? Very few. I would say.

I know I have had an encounter with peanut butter this past week. But that will not defeat me, I will not give up and you should not give up either.You can do it.....repeat after me ...I CAN DO IT!!

When I was losing my weight I fell off the wagon all the time. It is human nature, we were made that way. If you over eat at one meal or even a whole day, week -whatever, just pull yourself right back up and start over. You are doing great. And that weight you gained will be off in no time.
Terrie

WOW! The support here is incredible...it warms my SOUL!

Anniemal, all I wanted to say has already been said so let me just say that YOU inspire me because you have already lost 23 pounds and to me, that is significant!