Hi. I need advice on how to raise my self-esteem. I really get blue when I have to worry about going outside of my daily life to places like restaurants, the movies and such. I worry that something humilating will happen to me because of my size . I certainly don't have that "large and in charge" feeling that some do.
I have accepted so much of society's nonsense about fat being bad that my self-esteem only rises when the numbers on the scale drop . This is not the path to high self-worth. I want to feel good about who I am regardless of my weight. Sure, obesity is a major problem in my life but I am taking care of it. I just need to give it time. In the meantime though, I am tired of feeling so conspicuous and vulnerable in public and not wanting to go out . I tie it to being taunted nearly every day in my childhood but I know that it is time to no longer give those mean kids power over how I feel about myself.
Thanks for reading and I would appreciate any advice.

I am sorry you are feeling down and anxious about how people may treat you when you go outside. I relate. I worry that no one could carry me if there were a fire/earthquake/flood/insert-tragedy-here because I am so heavy

Don't let the fear of "what if" paralyze you! Let it motivate you to make a change today that will result in a difference tomorrow!

You can do it!

I know what you mean. I hate having the worries that thin people will never have to endure. Worrying, will i fit in the booth at the business lunch? I mean how HUMILIATING...to be amoungst business peers, trying to impress them and not or barely fitting in the booth. Rediculous. Then there was the time on the airplane, where i was RELIEVED the seat belt fit, only to have the RUDE stewardess ask, "are you going to need an extension for the seatbelt?" I answered no as my face turned bright red, i was sitting next to my husband who is thin. It was horrible. I mean, i know he knows i am fat, but i dont have to have someone confirm that i am THAT fat in front of him. That has to make him embarrased to be with "the fat girl". I hate it.
We can do it though. I have lost it all before. So i know it can be done, and believe me, it is SO worth it. But we all need to realize that just because our addiction is emotional, doesnt mean that it is any less of an addiction. It takes time and it is a life long battle. But our health and sanity is worth it.

Hi,

I am new here, on the message boards, but this message hit home. The reason it's my first posting...because I hope if I don't post, then I am not really that fat. But I am, it's reality.

I won't travel on a plane, not for plane fear, but because I don't want to overflow onto someone else's seat. And I have asked for a seat belt extender. I could have fit into it, but it would have been so tight that I wouldn't have been able to breathe.

I am a successful professional at a biotech company, have a great marriage, live in an area I love, but my weight nags at me all the time. I am very outgoing and entertaining, but it is to disarm people. How can you say fat jokes when I already do?

Anyway, I have lost 7 pounds in the last week, so I am happy about that. But I have about a billion pounds to go. I don't do that whole "one day at a time" thing well.

Thanks for letting me be part of the board.

AL

Catwuv - I am sorry you are so down. Society sends so many messages about weight and looks that are so hard to counteract. You DO have all sorts of wonderful attributes and abilities. Hold your head up. Think about how great you really are!!

Oh, realist, how I relate to that! I constantly put myself down, so that I 'beat' someone else to the punch, so to speak. It's done wonders for my self esteem. -note sarcasm-