Warning to Women Everywhere

  • Invasion of the body snatchers
    Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys
    were stolen while he was passed out. While that was an "urban legend," this one is NOT. It's happening every day. I'm sending this "warning. You too may have been a victim ... read on.

    My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened to mine?

    I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

    Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My rear end was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

    Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly and fiendishly, one section at a time. In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my T-shirts.

    What could they do to me next? Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up, unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked, repeatedly and without warning. That's why I've decided to share my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the World, wake up and smell the coffee!

    That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using. You know where they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was it lifted from you? Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks raisings. Look familiar? Are those your eyelids on that movie star? I think I finally may have found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

    This is NOT a hoax! This is happening to women in every town everynight........ Warn your friends!!!!!!!!!!!



    Now I just knew Halle Berry had my body! Whose got yours?
  • That is deeliteful!
  • Thank you Tippy
  • oooohhhh mmmmyyyyy GGGGGGOODDDD
    They have stolen my whole body, I thought I was the only one.

    Start a support group lol

    Take care and Good luck
    Am Rooting for use
  • Made me laugh! Liz in Canada
  • It's happening all over but people just don;t want to talk about it!

    Thanks for the giggle - a good way to start the day.
  • That was great! It's all clear to me now!!!
  • and all along........
    and all along I thought it was the fat fairy coming to me at night; now I know it was the replacement body hatchers

    keep making us laugh bfb

    janey

  • OMG I almost pee'd my pants
    I needed that bit of humor.
    That explains why I have a big beer belly when I don't even drink beer!!
  • Thanks for the laugh. That MUST be what happened to me!! LOL
  • toooooo funny. Yup it happened to me as well. But I fought back and (yes it took almost a year) but legs, butt, and arms are reborn!

    I started first just walking and then upped it to racewalking... you got to check it out! (fyi I'm 45). My butt, hips, stomach, thighs, and arms are incredibly toned. I do about 10 - 15 miles per week. Guys, I would not have believed it, if I hadn't seen the results.

    A gal who works on my floor saw me in a sleeveless (gasp) shirt earlier this week, and asked - how the H-ll did you get those Linda Hamilton arms (remember Terminator 2?).

    Anyone intersted can email me.

    Patch