I am literally in tears seeing that there is an OA thread on this board. I have toyed with the idea of attending meetings over the last couple of years. Quite honestly I am very ashamed of the fact that my body is what it is and that it is my fault.

I feel as if I can't find a middle ground. I either need to starve to lose weight or I eat everything in sight. I can't just eat XYZ because it opens that door.

I so look forward to reading others stories and hope to draw inspiration from others successes.

Welcome home, Katty. Go to a meeting in your area. There is no shame, no reproachment. We all understand what it is to fight and lose against food. You'll find people there who know your story, before you tell it, and who tell you stories so familiar you would swear they were peeking in on your life.

Welcome to the board. We're small but we're here!

food is my worst enemy that is for sure

its a struggle everyday

its not like we can avoid food , like other addicts can with their problems

but i find talking about it with people who truly have the same struggle is empowering to me ... we are not alone

and if we fall off the wagon, tomorrow is another day to get it right

Hi there Kattykelley!

You are so welcome here!

You wrote:
"Quite honestly I am very ashamed of the fact that my body is what it is and that it is my fault."

In OA we learn that we have a disease. The disease is called compulsive overeating, and it's an obsession of the mind, an allergy of the body, and an illness of spirit. We learn that we aren't at fault for our inability to control our eating. If all it took was self will, we would have triumphed long ago. Instead we find that not only don't we have the ability to control our eating, but we never will as our disease gets worse, never better.

Once we come to terms with this new idea, we learn that we have a higher power/God who does have the power to relieve us of our obsession with food. We learn how to daily surrender control of our lives and food to Him, and we are able to experience a daily reprieve of our illness.

Through working the 12 steps, we are able to clean up messes of our past, heal from broken relationships, how to love others, and be of service.

Most of us eat to stuff down uncomfortable feelings. Once we've worked through our past mistakes, we find that we no longer have old feelings to eat over. Instead, we find a new life that isn't all about food!

In OA you will find honesty, love, and acceptance.

Kattykelly,

Most every person in OA has felt the way you described feeling. The honesty, like Marny, said will blow you away.

I have been on every diet out there over the years and for the first time, I am not on a diet. I am changing my life one day at a time through an amazing program and learning why I've needed to binge, purge, starve, overeat my whole life.

I hope you can try a meeting. There is hope and a way to live free from food with a healthy body and mind. Imagine that? ha.

Charlene