What a beautiful name. I have never heard it before. I wish you well...just read EVERYTHING here, every post, every book review, everything...there is no one right answer, but something will click for you........if you look under forums, you will find some emotional support...you will find a "diet", a method, something.....people start with exercise, and that does have huge implications in physcological well-being. I heard Linda Dano say on one of the talk shows the other day that for depression, if you can only do one thing, just one, it is EXERCISE. You have your whole life ahead of you, and the job market is such that every single person with a skill, computer, writing,math, whatever, is in demand ...good jobs are there, just get a skill......stay with it! An in-demand skill, a good job..it all adds up to self-esteem...and that translates into heathy behavior..stay with it, and good luck.

Aria -- I was overwhelmed when I started, so I took baby steps. I started taking my lunch and snacks to work and just trying to move more. Soon I was calorie counting and exercising and really figuring out how to make healthy habits part of my lifestyle!

You're welcome to join us also on the weekly numbered threads "300+ and ready to try again". We have several younger members.

Aria, if its any consolation, I was a complete mess at 17 as well. I didnt have the weight problem, but I did have the depression, subsance abuse, kicked out of multiple schools, juvenille delenquent, type of problems (dont tell my kids....lol). Like you, one day I just had an epiphany and realized that how i was living was not a good way to live.....but it was an excellent way to die. One thing i learned about depression that made alot of sense to me, and has been a big help over the years was this

Stop waiting to be "in the mood" to do whatever....the "mood' is never going to come...and while you are waiting to be in the mood to get out of bed and take a shower (or whatever), and beating yourself up about not doing it, you could have done it stress free about 20 times.

I still struggle with depression, but never for very long anymore. The substance abuse issues have not been issues for over 17 years now. I went to college and was on the deans list throughout. I have a successful career, and nobody even guesses about my past.

Good luck You will be fine, you have the right attitude for it.

Aria, Wow, I don't think I would have been brave enough to try and help myself at your age. Life for me was crazy but not like yours. I agree with the previous posts. Read everything on here. You will find amazing support here. I used to think stuff like this was silly and old lady, but I love it now. I am 34, but I still feel like I am young like you. You can do this. Like my signature says, "Happiness is a choice that at times does really require a great amount of effort." My advice for you, and I do have some serious experience with eating, weight loss, substance abuse, and just general authority issues, don't try to do everything at once. Pick one. I quit smoking first. Then moved on to bigger and better things. So, start with one. If you ever need a shoulder, I am here. Feel free to write. Come onto the numbered thread, there is a lot of stuff on there, but you can just write what you want. Come join us. It will help. Great luck to you.
Carolyn