I was unable to afford to go to my nephews funeral, but my daughter went in our stead and she said it was really nice, lots of bright clothes and balloons etc (no black clothing allowed!). I have a form that was given out at the funeral, made me cry a bit.
I thought I was really handling everything fine .. you know how it is .. you get up each day and while you still think about it you dont let it stop you doing what you need to do each day ... well .. a week after Tyler died I went to the gym and that is when it hit me. I was on the exercycle which was situated right in front of the window that looked down to the swimming pool .. filled with kids .. there was this one boy and he just so reminded me of Tyler I started crying .. and I couldnt stop. My coach came over and helped me off the cycle and took me into the office. We had a good talk and she said to go home and "recover" (as it were). I was so shocked at myself .. even when my grandad died (and he was such a vital part in my life) I never reacted (not necessarily a good thing I know).
So the last couple of weeks have been healing weeks.
I havent stuck to any regime .. and I havent done any set exercise .. but at least Im still hovering round the 275 .. so maybe a birthday goal would be to get under that 270 mark again.
On the positive side .. I have just leased/bought another business. It will get me out of the house and there are no jobs that I would be happy doing around in our town so working for myself again is something Im happy to do
We signed the papers for it today .. and I officially open on April 4 .. its scary, exciting, terrifying .. but its definitely a positive to keep my mind on other things than staying at home craving chocolate and bad things lol.
I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you that sent your thoughts and wishes and condolences to myself and family, I printed them all up and sent them down to the family with my daughter.
Hugs to everyone .. I hope to get back on track again starting 1 April .. new month .. and for me a new year (at least that is the way Im looking at it .. cos so far I havent liked the first 3 months of it lol)... my first issue is to learn to eat breakfast again .. at least Im drinking the water still lol ..
HUGGIES EVERYONE AND BLESS YOU ALL!
Katt
I missed you! You are usually so positive, and I wondered if Ty's death had you down. Kids just shouldn't die, and I think that's what makes it so difficult! We're so glad to see you back!
