Sorry this is a bit of a rant but it’s been bothering me bit so I just need to get it out there.

Last week I got invited to sit with some classmates at lunch that I didn’t normally eat with. I accepted without thinking too much about it. The group I was sitting with would be what I would consider the popular people, they are all thin and attractive. While we were eating started to talk about another classmate. First they started talking about some odd behaviors of the student. He is foreign but even taking that into consideration he is a little weird. Not something I would sit and discuss at lunch though. Then the conversation turned to his weight and mannerisms related to his weight (like he rest his arm on his stomach during class). He is heavy but I just thought the who conversation was inappropriate. I could not understand for the life of me why they felt the need to talk about this guy behind his back (especially when they are friends with him). We are all law students and I felt like I was back in middle school. Additional I felt very uncomfortable because I am also overweight. Yes I’ve lost a lot of weight but it made me concerned on if they would be doing the same thing about me later. The worst part is I didn’t know if I should say anything, or for that matter what to say. I mean they aren’t people I want to be friends with, something about them has always rubbed me wrong, however they are people I deal with everyday in classes. Maybe I’m over-sensitive to the issue but it really bothered me.

HEY REMEBER

I DONT THINK THAT YOU ARE OVER REACTING AT ALL. PEOPLE ARE SO INSENSITIVE. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU ARE NOT LOOKED UPON NEGATIVELY FOR YOUR WEIGHT BY THE GROUP YOU WERE WITH, THEY DONT EVEN CONSIDER YOU ON THAT LEVEL. YOU FEEL FOR HIM BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE JUDGED ON APPEARANCES ALONE. i HAVE A SIMILIAR EXAMPLE:

I AM A BIG GIRL IN A SEA OF LITTLE PEOPLE! THERE IS ONE CHICK THAT CAME TO WORK HERE THAT IS CONSIDERABLY BIGGER THAN ME, WONDERFUL PERSON. PEOPLE IIMMEDIATELY STARTED TO DISLIKE HER, MISTRUST HER, GENERALLY SHUN HER FROM THE MOMENT THE MET HER.. I FOUND OUT THEY CALL HER BIG MAC BEHIND HER BACK! I FELT SO BAD FOR HER. IF SHE KNEW ABOUT IT SHE WOULD BE CRUSHED!SHE KNOWS PEOPLE SAY THINGS ABOUT HER, SHE BELIEVES LARGELY DUE TO OFFICE POLITICS. BUT I KNOW THAT IT IS ALL ROOTED IN THEIR PREJUDICE AGAINST HER AND HER SIZE.

I HAVE BEEN BOTH SKINNY AND BIG SO I CAN UNDERSTAND BOTH SIDES. I HAVE HAD LARGER FRIENDS WHEN I WAS SMALL THAT WOULD TOTALLY IGNORE ME WHEN I SAID THAT I HAD ISSUE WITH BODY IMAGE, WEIGHT ETC. THEY WOULD JUST DISCOUNT ME AS IF MY FEELINGS WERE NOT VALID. I DIDNT SHARE WITH THEM THAT I TRIED BULEMIA LIKE BEHAVIOR(EAT AND PURGE). I WOULD BE IN SO MUCH PAIN FROM NOT EATING AND BASICALLY STARVING TO BE THIS BODY IMAGE THAT WOULD MAKE ME MORE ACCEPTABLE I THOUGHT. LOOKING BACK ON THAT NOW IT WAS SAD. BUT PEOPLE WOULD SAY, "YOU LOOK GOOD, ARE YOU LOSING WEIGHT?" AFTER A WEEK OF PURGING!!! SO I KEPT IT UP!!

I HAVE OVERCOME ALOT OF THINGS MENTALLY TO BE PROUD OF THE PERSON THAT I AM NOW, FAT AND ALL.. YOU CAN ONLY SUPPORT YOUR FRIEND IN SPITE OF THE "COOL CLIQUE". I WOULD NOT SAY A WORD, IT WOULD JUST BE PAINFUL. I HAD TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY KNEW THAT I WAS FRIENDS WITH THEM AND TRY TO DEFEND THEM WHEN I COULD. THEY WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE SUPPORTING THEM AND WOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM AROUND YOU...