Well good news! Dh and I have gotten over our fight and I have a new job!! It is not exactly a new job, I"m at the same hospital but I'm not going to be floating anymore. Definately a good thing. I'm going back to working the straight nights and you know something I'm rather glad about that. Working days has given me the heebee jeebees. I'm just so not used to it and I feel like I'm getting tossed back into it without a lifejacket. Tomorrow I am going to a ward I have never been to on a dayshift and when I've been there on nights it is usually a nightmare so that's something to look forward to!

I'm not expecting that this is going to solve all the problems in my life but I know I was definately happier when I am on just one ward.

Take care all, hope you are having a good day.

Well congrats Jen! I hope it all works out and I hope your last shift wasn't too horrible!

I have a busy day ahead of me so have a great day everyone!

Okay so I was in a crappy mood all yesterday after I found out I was going to this ward, I was depressed and not being a great mom which made me feel even crappier. I kept my nose in a book so I wouldn't have to think about going to work in the morning. Last night I woke up about 2am and couldn't get back to sleep because I was thinking about work and stressing out big time. I had a headache but it wasn't that bad, just a tension type headache. I got in the car to go to work, drove about 20 minutes and my head just started pounding with the worst migraine I've ever had in my life. It felt like my whole body was throbbing with the pain. I pulled off the road and started crying. Then I called in work, bawling on the phone, told the clerk what was going on, she told me to call her back in a few minutes. I tried to get a grip on myself, called her back and said I just wanted to go home but I had to sit for awhile before I could start driving. Called my husband and told him what was going on, he asked if I wanted him to come and get me, I said no, I'd be okay in a bit. Then about half hour I started driving back home. I made it home okay but then felt like I was going to throw up which I did and then I think I had an anxiety attack, it felt like I couldn't breathe and then I had some chest pain. Okay so this is going just great eh? I called my doctor, it was about 8:15 by then and there was someone in the office which I thought was a miracle. Anyway there isn't a doctor who can see me but the nurse practitioner can see me, so I have an appt for 2pm. Then work phones (I had phoned them when I got home because she wanted to make sure I got home okay) to say that for tomorrow they were going to change me over to another ward. The thing is that when I started back working days I asked them to send me to this one particular hospital for awhile because I was most familiar with this hospital, the doctor, the routines etc etc. They sent me there for a total of 3 shifts then they are sending me to this other hospital where I have not worked a dayshift ever and when I said something to the clerk yesterday that I thought I was being scheduled at the other hospital she didn't say anything and I didn't press it because trying to switch shifts is next to impossible so I didn't even bother. So now because I am getting all stressed out, now they will change everything. Like why didn't they schedule me where I had requested to begin with and done what they said they were going to do instead of me going through all of this? I'd be at work right now instead of at home waiting to go for a doctor's appt because I had an anxiety attack and chest pain and trying not to think about work because I still feel like I am going to start crying? I was so happy yesterday with getting the new job and then it has been all downhill since. I will be so happy when I start at this new place, you have no idea, I hope they let me go after this pay period which will be next Wednesday. I have never hoped for anything more in my life it feels like right now.

So that is my story. I'm sure the chest pain was just anxiety and stress but I am going to get checked out anyway. I got myself into a state and this is the result but I'm blaming work too in a way if they had done what they had said they were going to do I wouldn't be here, I'd be at work. I'm having to stop and take deep breaths because I can feel my anxiety getting the better of me.

Jen- I hope all went well at the dr. I can imagine the stress that floating all over from ward tow ard, hospital to hospital can induce. No wonder you broke down. Plus you have stress at home. I am sure things will get better with your new position.

Thanks Misty. I'm glad there are a few people that understand. I don't think the people I work for do but that's managers for you. They don't see you as a person, just a body filling a shift. I hate to say that but from my experience with these people it is true. I think my new manager will be better. She was a nurse on the ward that we work on, I used to work with her a few years back and apparently she worked a night shift recently! A manager working a night shift, doing actual patient care! I just about fainted when she told me that. Anyway I am done with the old crew as of Friday, I have my last shift with them Friday night and that's it that's all. I'm hoping I will have til next Thursday off, that will be the beginning of the new pay period but I told the new manager I was willing to come in for education or whatever if needed. So just waiting to here back from her.

My dr's appt was okay. I told my story to the nurse practitioner who was very sympathetic, it felt good to talk to someone about it. My blood pressure was a bit high but not too bad. I had a ECG done which looked okay from what I saw and had some bloodwork done.

Well this is going to be very exciting starting a new job, I hoping for good things now and that I can get into some kind of routine. A lot of my probs came from not being able to sleep so I hope that being on a regular ward will help and also I'm getting some new room darkening shades for the bedroom.

So what is going on with everyone else? Feels like this has been Jen's forum of problems lately.