And I don't feel like I'm falling into bad habits too much but I do feel stalled. So a big thing for me now is fixing my finances...which aren't too bad but need a little help...so I though this to be the perfect time to do that...I mean while I'm on this get healthy crusade I've stopped wasting all kinds of money on food and cigarettes and alcohol...but every time I get close to getting a bill paid off I hit another hug bump in the road.

So last Thursday the brakes went on my car. I know that I need to replace it as it is basically a death trap on wheels but I was really hoping to just get through the rest of the year without any major problems before I buy a new car... no such luck. I knew that front breaks at least would be needed soon so I was ok with a few hundred $$ to fix that but... well my luck just isn't that good...and cars tend to turn into money pits at the worst possible times. I found out I need a full break job...pads, roaters, shoes....all 4.... fine whatever thats only gonna be $400....but I also had them check my power steering as the car has been hard on the turns for a while now and just my luck the power steering fluid pump is dead and in turn has damaged the rack & pinion which all needs to now be replaced.... to the tune of $1100 just for parts (after market parts too, the man was at least nice enough to research the most cost effective parts for me) anyway add in the alignment I'll need after fixing everything, an oil change and 2 days in the shop at $90/hr I'm sorta freakin out.

The first thing I turned to on Thursday when I got home after the brakes went....cause yes I coasted it home... was pour a huge drink and make a big bowl of pasta.....it was whole wheat pasta at least (and I did measure it...but only out of habit.... it was still 2 full servings) but I incorporated no sort of other protein or veggie with it (I love pasta and its something I won't give up so what I've done is have 1-2 ounces of wheat pasta once or twice a week with a big helping of broccoli or some grilled chicken) but this was not the case on Thursday. I did get about half way through it though and decided I didn't want it anymore which was a good thing that despite feeling a little out of control I was able to grab the reins and turn it around. I also just had the one drink... and I didn't smoke either...so that could have been much worse...but I had that momentary feeling of being out of control which scared me a bit.

The weekend wasn't a complete loss, I did get to the gym on Sunday (I borrowed my moms car) and got to the store to buy some veggies that now I realize I can't afford after fixing my car... and I went and test drove some pretty shiny new cars that I still can't afford to finance for another year. I totally got a muffin from Dunkin Donuts this morning....at least it was reduced fat...but not like that makes a huge difference...it was still 400 calories and a few hours later I really feel like I didn't want or need it and now I'm stressing about it....I know I shouldn't be, I've accounted for it and have the rest of my day planned and everything else is perfectly on target and in the end I know there is nothing I can do to change the fact that I ate it...I just need to move forward, but I'm still stressin. I've only managed to intentionally work out once since last Wednesday (yesterday) because I haven't had a car to get to the gym and its been way too cold to go for a walk outside or anything...and my apartment is small to do anything major in so I'm sort of feeling like a lump. I'm not seeing any effects on the scale..either good or bad but I just feel horrible....I won't have a car to get out tonight, and I have a show opening tomorrow nigh so its gonna be Wednesday before I can get to the gym!

Ugh...I'm just really frustrated I guess, and wishing my car wasn't busted and gonna cost an arm and a leg to fix, wishing the gym was in walking distance from my house since I've made that my new stress outlet I'm feeling a little lost not being able to get there to blow of some good cardio steam... I've pretty much replaced my bad habits (food, alcohol, and smoking) with some pretty heavy working out...take that away for a few days and apparently I turn into a bumbling idiot! I'm wishing the weather was nicer so I could get outside..and wishing I hadn't eaten that silly muffin and I just needed to get my silly little vent out. Thanks in advance for listening

I understand what you mean. I don't know that I can offer any helpful advice, as my life is just now getting back to normal after I have had the worst semester of my life and a professor from ****.
But I understand. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong all at once.

This is also a hard lesson learned about not letting car repairs go for so long.

I know you are venting but you said you plan to get rid of the car this year? If it is costing you well over $1100 to fix it, why not see if you can find a nice used car right now? If you do pay for the repairs, although it may not be what you want right now, then maybe postpone buying a newer car until next year. That way you don't have to stress about the finances of the newer car.

Sunshine I don't have anything profound to see either. Just know that we are thinking of you and we understand and we CARE. You're going through a rough spot, no doubt. But it WILL pass. It's kinda sucky with the car and the expense and not being able to get to the gym and the darn frigid temps. Unfortunately cars can be money eaters. Just part of life. I think you're handling things pretty darn well. Please hang in there, please, please, please. I'm real glad you didn't pick up a cigarette and limited your drink to one and had more then a decent amount of control with the food. This is FANTASTIC. This is the new and improved you. You did a great job and should be proud of yourself. You are a work in progress and progress is what you're making.

Just wondering if you could get a couple of fitness DVD's for the times when you can't get to the gym. You don't need much space for them. Check out ebay, you can get some good bargains there.

Sending you big cyber hugs.

NESunshine, unfortunately when it rains it pours! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with car issues, they really stink!

Take a step back and look at all the progress you've made, and be proud of how you handled things over the last few days. In the past, would you have drank yourself into a stupor? This time you only had one drink. Would you have smoked a whole pack of cigarettes? This time you didn't touch them! Would you have eaten yourself to the point of being miserable? This time you made pasta.....but it was whole wheat, and you stopped mid-way through. I think those are all accomplishments that you need to think of right now!

The whole exercise thing really stinks. Try doing two or three sets of squats, lay on the living room floor and do leg lifts. If you have hand weights, get them out, if not, grab a couple bottles of water or cans of veggies and use them to work out your arms. It's not the perfect solution, but it will help, and make you feel like you're in a little more control of the exercise!

Good luck, and keep your chin up!

Thanks guys,
Often work goes overlooked on my car because I drive so little things don't get noticed until they are blatantly apparent and seriously broken. I take public transportation to work so really the most I drive is to and from the train station and the gym, probably less than a mile a day....I literally put less than $400 in gas in my car all of last year. I knew the brakes were coming so the thinking was, since the car was still turning, just a little hard that I'd have them looked at at the same time.... the last time I needed work it took taking a trip to Maine and having things go wrong while stretching her legs on the long drive to see any signs of a problem. With the amount that I drive daily all that really ever gets noticed are the normal shakes and rattles of a 10 year old car.
At this point I'll get close to nothing trade in value with major mechanical problems...and I have no money for a down payment or for a monthly payment either, since I own this car its actually less expensive for me to just pay the money and fix it and have it run for another 6-8 months (when I say looking at buying a new car this year I mean at the end of this year, not right away) Its really not worth it for me to take out a loan on another used car... I'm sick of inheriting other peoples problems I suppose.

The car's been good, and its had a good life, and if I can get it to last for the rest of the year it'll be fine. For the beatings I've given it I can't say its death isn't warranted. Its actually going to be closer to $2000 to fix it...and will be the second time in a year that I'll be putting over $1000 of work into it at one time...so this will really be the last round of repairs for me. I have some home DVD's but the only thing there is really room for in my cute little 400sq foot apt is some yoga or pilates that doesn't use up much floor space, and thats a stretch. I mean I have room for situps and push ups and to lift some hand weights but not for any real movement cardio...and truthfully I get lazy if I'm at home...I need the out doors or the gym to really push myself.

I suppose there are really no profound words to say...its just frustrating...I know that everything will work itself out and the finances will work out and that this isn't the end of the world. Mostly I just really feel the need for some sort of cardio release and not being able to get there is bumming me out and making me look for ways to curb the stress that I can reach for. Just thought a vent would help me get through till Wednesday and I'll be able to get to the gym, I'll get my quarterly commission check which won't cover but will put a dent in the financials and the car will be at least running. Thanks for listening... sometimes it just helps to know someone is listening somewhere

oh and in answer to this... I would have easily not have been sober, eaten double the pasta every day since Thursday and gone through more than one pack of smokes. and I would have done it all alone behind closed doors. Its a huge accomplishment... And the past was not that long ago, it was only last November that I started this healthy crusade...then I was eating 3 takeout meals a day sometimes more, smoking a pack a day or more and functioning in a permanently hungover or drunken state on a daily basis... a very scary road to be on.

Yuck. It does seem to just rain at once. You are at least aware of what you did on the diet/exercise front and didn't go all out.

As for the finances, you might check out dave ramsey. He does have a great plan to help you save money and get out of debt. I plan on using his book again to try and get our finances straightened out. I think a couple of others on here have used his plan in the past. HTH

You stopped in the middle of a bowl of pasta! NESunshine, you are my hero! There is no way I could have done that!

mousetater

Hi Sunshine! Here's a hug for you. Considering all that you are going through, IMHO, you're doing pretty good! Some of your lifestyle changes are showing up in the way you are handling this stress. Good for you! Hang in there! I know things might seem overwhelming now, but they will all be over one day soon.

I feel your pain and frustration Sunshine. Money gets me down all the time. But good for you to try to separate those problems from your old bad habits.

Regarding exercise, is there anything you can do inside the house? A DVD or even a homemade workout? Just anything to let you let off some steam.