My brother's girlfriend called me last night and she turned the conversation to my weight loss. I have no problem if someone brings it up, I just try not to throw it in their face. Anyway, she said she's gained about 20 pounds in the last 8-10 months, and can't seem to get rid of it. She's tall, and with winter clothing I honestly hadn't noticed she'd gained.

Let me start by saying that I'm more than willing to help her and give her any info I can, but I don't want to come across as the know it all. What concerned me is that she said she's been skipping breakfast, and usually lunch, eating a small bag of chips with a diet soda later in the afternoon for a snack, and then eating a small portion of whatever they have for dinner. No snacks in the evening. It sounds to me like she's just not eating enough, and that could be the cause of not losing weight. In ww they continually tell us to eat all our points, etc., so your body doesn't go into starvation mode. Unfortunately, this is about all the info I have from her, but does it sound plausable to you that she needs to eat more? I don't really think it's a junk food/bad food issue with her and I rarely see her snack on anything at all. We have dinner together at my mom's house every Thursday, and even watching points I eat more than she does.

Any help I could pass along, as well as a way to pass it without being the know it all would be great! I'm sure she appreciates everything and doesn't look at it like I'm telling her what to do, but you know what I mean! Thanks!

I did have a nutritionist tell me once that you have to eat a minimum amount of calories per day or you will go in to starvation mode and your body will not loss weight. I have noticed that I lose more weight when I eat breakfast. Hope that this helps

Well, I think you need to be darn proud of what you have accomplished and not worrying about throwing it in her face. After all, girl you have lost 60 lbs. You know a thing or 2 about what it takes to lose weight. And she came to you!!

You know skipping meals isn't the way to go. She needs to be eating 3 meals a day and even 3 meals with snacks. That's where it gets tricky? How do you tell her that? Just be honest, tell her what you know. Any chance she'll hook up with you and try WW. My best friend only had 20 lbs to lose and did awesome on WW. Maybe start by helping her figure out what plan would be best. Is she willing to count, then Calorie Counting or WW. If not then maybe South Beach.

Good Luck!!

Hi Kelly,

I really don't know how anyone can survive on a bag of chips and a small portion of food everyday - that would send me ona sugar frenzy after a few days! I think you're right - it really would do more harm than good - you want to lose fat not muscle and unfortunately it sounds as if she's more likely to do that latter and it's also a recipe for gaining fat whatever the scale says. I had a similar approach to eating - would eat very little during the day and then feast at night and it just LOADS the weight on in my experience anyway. Best thing I can advise her is to only follow a plan that she knows she'd be able to sustain for a year - you might be able to crash off some weight that way but it won't stay off - you can eat so much more generously and lose weight sensibly there's no need to starve - please eat Kelly's relative!! I want to feed her!!!

Are you really sure that's all she's eating?

Rockinrobin and I had the exact same thought. I know that my least successful attempts at weight loss all involved being downright dishonest about what I was eating. If nobody saw me eat it then it didn't count! The saddest part is that, at the time, I REALLY believed that.

My suggestion would be to lead her by example. After all, the best advice in the world can't help someone who isn't ready to follow it. Plus, to be successful, most people need to find what works for them and fits with their lifestyle. So, maybe instead of telling her what to do just point her in the right direction to figure out her own path. Tell her about 3FC, pass along the books or articles that you've found helpful, mention any diet friendly recipes that you've really enjoyed. Beyond that, just cheer her along and celebrate her weight loss accomplishments with her.

I don't think she would have asked you for help if she didn't want your opinion. So, give her all your information, after all it has worked great for you and she knows that. I have to agree she may be eating more, I know I'm usually too embarassed to let anyone knew the extent of my "off diet" consumption. Also, maybe she could stick a little exercise in that she may not bet getting. Good luck.

I'm with the other gals, tell your SIL that she needs to eat breakfast and the other meals and snacks. Alot of use sometimes tell ourselves (for me anyway)if we just don't eat it we'll loose the weight, but then we just end up lowering our metabolism & later binging like a mad horse.

Thanks for all the input, everyone!

Colleen, starvation mode was my first thought as well. She said she lost about 15 pounds eating the same way about 10 years ago, but we all know time changes everything!!! Her eating habits remind me of the ones many of us had in high school. I know I never took time for breakfast, and lunch was often an apple and a diet Pepsi in those days. The abuse you can do to your body at 17 just doesn't work at 30-something!

Sandi, thank you for the compliment! Some days I feel like I know what I'm doing, other days I feel like a newbie! You're right, though, it's working!

EnglishMuffin, I couldn't survive on that either! I'm afraid she is losing muscle in her quest to lose weight. She mentioned that she's not nearly as toned as she used to be and that her tummy looks flabby.

RockinRobin and Lucky, actually I do think that that is probably all she's eating. She's one of the most straightforward and honest people I've ever known, and just isn't one to hide anything. I do believe I'll try to get her to go to a WW meeting with me. I think she'd be surprised!

Shelby, I think the exercise is a big key as well. I'm certain she doesn't get any. Their driveway is 1/2 mile long, I think I'll suggest to her that she hike out to get the mail daily instead of picking it up when she's pulling in....that will give her a mile long daily walk right of the start!

Templebody, metabolism is definitely a major part of this. I'm thinking she's gotten hers all screwed up! Time for me to fix it!

Thanks again, everyone! I'll see her at dinner tomorrow, and we're gonna have a little chat...hehehe....I may even take my WW books over for her to use.

Kelly, please forgive me if I offended you in anyway whatsoever by doubting what your SIL was eating. Maybe because I've always thought myself to be an incredibly honest person, my husband would say almost to a fault. But when it came to my food consumption I must admit I wasn't upfront with everyone (even myself for that matter). Again I apologize. Please forgive me.

Anyway your SIL is one lucky lady having you as her weightloss coach!!! She's got a proven winner on her side. How fortunate for her.

Me too, Kelly! I didn't mean to imply that I thought your SIL was a dishonest person...just that I know a lot of people who try and lose weight and really have no idea how much they are consuming. I know I've read lots of posts where people have used fitday for the first time and were amazed by the number of calories they were consuming. I think this is especially true of someone who doesn't have a lot of weight loss experience. Unless you've been around the block a few times it seems logical to count only the main meals. Those of us who have battled the scale a while, though, know that an extra soda or handful of M&M's throughout the day do add up...fast!

Oh, Robin and Lucky, I wasn't offended! I completely understood what you were saying! I was simply trying to convey that I do trust that that's all she's eating. Hard to explain it, but sometimes you just know, you know? I really hadn't given fitday a thought, either, because I've never used it, but I think I'll try to get her onto that as well as explaining WW to her. I'm sure she'll be back where she wants to be weight-wise before we know it!

Invite her to go to meetings with you. WW is a great program (I think), and it's so much more motivating to go with someone else. I go with my SIL, and some weeks I really don't want to go, but the fact that I have someone to go with keeps me going and staying on plan.

I agree with the others, she is lucky to have you to ask questions, and help her along the way.