Hi everyone!

I'm not going to complain or whine in this post like I -ahem- usually seem to do, but instead, I'm gonna mark the begining of a new chapter in my life.

Monday, January 15th, I want to focus on controlling my out of control binges. With that, I am sure I will automatically lose weight. Why is monday gonna be different than any other time I have chosen in the past? Well...I'm not sure, but I think I'm ready.

With all your help, I KNOW I'm ready.

I'm going to keep a journal with me. It's a regular notebook so that means I can bring it everywhere with me. I'll write every aspect that food affects my life and if I ever feel a binge comming on, I will read from it. I'm gonna stick pictures, little notes, inspiring quotes and articles-- anything that will help me remember why I'm doing this and why it's WORTH it.

This is where I need your help. The first page of my 'journal'.

Can you give me reasons why YOU want to lose weight? Or have lost some? It doesn't have to be much. Just a small list of how losing weight is going to/did make your life better?

Basically, I'm gonna print all your responses and stick them in my journal for MOTIVATION, the only thing I know that will help me go on, even when I'm going through some crappy days.

Thank you all in advance. Geez, I'm so glad I've found this site.

I have depression, and being overweight REALLY doesn't help my self-esteem issues. Losing weight will give me one less way to hate myself. I know, that sounds like a really negative motivation, but take what you can get, y'know?

Also, I have always loved the outdoors, and I hate being out-of-shape enough that I'm uncomfortable doing my favorite things, like backpacking and surfing and stuff.

Numbah t'ree, I really desperately want to be able to buy and wear a bikini. I've been promising myself that every summer since I was 16, and haven't been able to yet. I'm 21 now. Maybe this will finally be the summer...

Oh, and one last...once I'm comfortable with how I look nekkid, maybe I'll actually be confident enough to go out and get LAID already.

I don't want to have to say "Well I can't do that because of my weight." My weight should be a none issue when it comes to doing the things that I love. I love to ice skate. I'm not very good at it, but I love it. Years ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't skate again until I was below 200 lbs. I realize now that was stupid. I wouldn't stop singing in the car just because I can't carry a tune. Weight can make you so self conscious. Make you not want to be the "token fat girl" in a group. Makes you think that's all that people see when they look at you. I finally got sick of wondering if people could see the little skinny me hiding below the shell. I don't want to think "Well if I was smaller, I could..." I can do anything that I set my mind to, including losing this weight. You can do it too. It may be hard work, but you'll break the hold that food has on you too.

It's very late and I'm really tired so I hope that made sense. Probably not.

BTW, since the beginning of the year, I skate twice a week.

I have a predisposition to diabetes

I have high cholesterol

I have two beautiful babies that I need to be here for.

Running makes me happy, losing weight will make me a better runner

Just once I would like to feel good about my body...that might take more than weight loss..who knows.

Oh...and I have promised myself a boob reduction for my 40th birthday, it would be nice to have maintained a weight for long enough to know what my boobs will be like BEFORE I shell out the dough.

Okay, so I know this is a little silly, and it probaly stems from the fact that I had two babies in 2005. One in Jan and one in Nov. Not good for one's body image - so my motivator, is that I want my hubbie to not have to work at thinking I'm hot - make sense? I know he loves me for who I am, but I want him to be able to love what and "how much" I am, too.

Hopefully not too shallow to helpful - Good luck!

1. My knees. I'm too young to be feeling this knee pain. To get maximum mobility back will be a joy.

2. Airplanes. I have to fly more often than I'd like to. Airplanes are uncomfortable even if you're thin, and they're sheer **** for me.

3. PCOS. I will never get off the medication I currently have to take for polycystic ovarian syndrome until I am exercising daily, building muscle, and making healthier food choices.

4. Brain bath. When I exercise, my brain takes a lovely bath of endorphins, seratonin, oxytocin, whatever the latest science is saying. I just know I feel good about myself emotionally and physically when I've given loving care to my body for the day by working out.

Good luck in your journey!

Geri

I want to give myself a shot at having the best life I possibly can. And I know that getting myself down to a healthy weight is the best thing that I could possibly do for myself. I deserve a shot at being the very best ME that I can be. There's absolutely NO NEED to settle for second best.

I don't want to be old with my one regret being that I never knew what it was like to be slim.
I want to have party invites and think "yay i get to buy a new dress" instead of "cr*p what am I going to wear"
I want to tuck into a bar of chocolate and know that that's OK rather then it setting off a whole range of emotional issues over whether or not i should have eaten the flaming thing!

Me...i'm tired of being overewweight. Tired of my knees hurting. And tired of having to find the "right" close to help me look not so fat. I also want my hubby to be proud of my weight. I know he'll love me know matter what...but i want him to have the sexiest wife out there
And finally, I want to live a long time.

Call me extremely vain! I liked the male attention I got when I was at my goal weight. I don't get that now, so to me that is some kind of measure of my appearance. That doesn't make me any less of a person now, and what's inside is clearly what counts, but it was fun knowing from a guy's reaction that he liked what he saw as I walk go. LOL! Funny thing is, I still always thought there was lots of room for improvement rather than just being happy that I actually fit into a size 6 jeans. I was still pretty curvy so I thought I needed to lose more, but I was quite toned at the same time (from weight lifting) so I should have just been happy with my maintainable weight of 128. Sometimes we fall victim to believing we need to be "perfect" like the celebrities or something. I will really try hard not to ever think like that again, it's so ridiculous.

Remember- I love your notebook idea. One of the things that really pushes me, this time, is that I'm tired of wishing I was something else. Shallow and vain? Totally, I'm okay with that, lol. I've spent a huge part of my life wishing I was the size 6 girl, wishing I could wear that really cool outfit that the other girls could wear, wishing that I didn't look the way I look. I've spent countless hours wanting to be something other than what I am. At the end of my life I don't want to have spent all my time wishing, when I could actually be that. Now, mind you, there is nothing wrong with me. I have learned that I am just fine the way I am. I do appriciate the good things about me. But I know that I can treat myself better than this. I have done it before, but this time is different for me too. I really want to take good care of me. I'll settle for a size 10!

The big trick is just to keep doing it even when you don't have any motivation. Make everything you do a habit, just something you do every day. For example, on Sundays I menu plan for the whole week. I look up recipes online, make a grocery list and go to the grocery store. I buy what's on my list, I come home and pack lunches for the entire week and bag up my snacks (bag cherries, or make baggies of cut up vegetables). Every Sunday, whether I feel like it or not. Having the lunches and snacks made makes it easy for me to eat healthy lunches/snacks - they are in the frig and I just have to grab them as I walk out the door. I also gave up fast food completely - I just don't eat that. I don't need to be motivated to stay away from fast food, I just don't eat that.

I'm doing this for my life, there are going to be a lot of unmotivated times, I have to just keep doing it anyway.

Oh my gosh, I am so inspired just by the responses I've read to your post. There are so many reasons to do this!

~I want to be the best me I can be. At 188 pounds, I'm NOT the best me I can be.

~I want to be here for my kids. I was heading down the path to destruction, and if I didn't make changes, things were only going to get worse.

~I want to like ME. Inside has never been a problem, but I want to like the outside as well.

~I want to be able to keep up with my kids, friends, whoever, without being winded.

~I want to be able to hike my way up from our boat dock to the house without keeling over....it's a reallllllly big, steep hill that scares me in the golf cart 'cause it feels like it'll tip backwards, therefore I want to just leave the dang cart at the house and walk. I've done it before, but literally have had to take a couple 5 minute breathers on the way up. I want to do it all in one shot, and still be able to breathe!

~I want to water ski again. I haven't done it in 16 years, and wasn't even willing to try in the shape I was in. This summer, there's going to be a whole new world open to me again.

~I want to leave the lights on. No need to explain that one, I'm sure!

~I want the matching panty/bra sets from Victoria's Secret. Uh, that would go with the item listed above....hehehe

There are so many more that I can't even begin to list them all. On one of those pages in your journal start a list. Make it a list of everything you want, no matter how trivial or shallow it seems. You'll be surprised at how much motivation you'll get from that list of your own desires!

Agent mommy -- I so understand. I was thin when I met my husband and we've discussed my weight -- of course he loves me but does have to struggle to find me attractive some times, after all I've gained 100 lbs since I met him and will admit it would bother me if he did the same.

Okay -- motivation for me:

To play with my kids, not just watch them play. I'm so tired and sore sometimes just from my "extra" self.

To get my old personality back, I used to be very outgoing but now I'm so conscious of my size I can't be.

To stay healthy. I've lucked out and have no ailments because of my weight but as I'm approaching 40 I know they will find me!!!

To buy any clothes I want, and not have to struggle to find something in my size.

I'd like to look good in lingerie too...although that might require the boob reduction. Victoria doesn't carry my size