Hello to you all. I am here to share my story, and find OEA friends and family. My name is Emily, I took step one last night. I have always been heavy and always been an FA, but I would never admit it. I knew it, just wouldn't admit it to myself or others. So last night, while at my best friend's house, I picked up a book called "Anatomy of a food addiction", and Id idn't even get through the introduction part, and it had changed my life, forever. I realized the lady writing the book was me, well not me, but you know what I mean. I could feel her words, I could read them and literally feel her speaking them, as if I was. Then it says "I am a food addict"... I'm thinking, food addict? How can you be addicted to food. Well, I know how. Because I am! My life revolves around it, my moods revolve around it, and I have missed out on so many wonderful life experiences because of food. Food?? I mean, I can see drugs, alcohol, and other eating disorders, but OE? Well, I see it now, my eyes have been opened, and I knew for a long time I needed to get a handle on my "weight", but never said anything about my eating. If that makes sense. I guess this opens a lot of doors for me, while it is quite humbling, it is also very relieving.

I have 2 very young children that I want to be here for. I can't seem to get down and play with them on the floor because I can't get back up! Or outside, I can't chase them like daddy can, or run and play football like daddy can, because I am so out of breath. I want to enjoy life with them, and quit living my life for food!!! It's frustrating and angers me. I used to eat because it made me feel good when I had a bad day, or a bad minute, or a bad second, or even a good day, it was my reward and it was my punishment, it always made me feel good... Problem is... Lately. It doesn't make me feel good anymore! I no longer feel "high" afterwards. I feel as if I drank a ton the day before, I get food hangovers... Horrible... Always tired, always groggy, always so down, and moody!!!!!!!! I always feel like crap, and have realized it's the food I eat. and how much of it I eat. Sad.

So, last night, after reading this book, I went online, and I found a site that has online groups, and I also found a local church and will start face to face meetings on Monday. Every monday at 7 pm. I want to be able to say "I am in control", because I have not felt that in so long I don't remember what it feels like.

Well, that is the beginning of my story. Thank you all for listening.

Emily

Welcome Emily.
That you are honest with yourself and others is the first giant step towards recovery--so, congratulations!
Let us know how the meeting goes.

Hi Emily

Thank you for your post. It made me cry, because I feel your pain. I know that pain.

I am a food addict. I have this disease.

I have been struggling since Saturday. Depressed and fighting the food cravings. In fear that any minute I will pick up something I should not eat. Your post helped me more than you can know.

Thank you
Christy

Hi Emily,

Thank you for sharing and being so honest. Most everyone in OA comes to program with their own version of your story. You are definitely not alone and have found a place to be absolutely honest.

I know very well that food "hangover" feeling and have lived much of my life and most of last year in the fog of it. When I came to program I couldn't imagine living without the food. I still have rough days but they are getting fewer and farther. The freedom from food is now becoming more addicting than the food itself. It's a miracle and a gift!

In OA they say "It works if you work it and you're worth it."

I go to a meeting every Monday at 7pm too. Let us know how it goes

Charlene

I wanted to say thank you to all of you, for all of your support. I know you all know how I feel when I say I have felt for a long time as if I were the only one, even though I truly knew I wasn't... But just that alone feeling you get. I am so excited to be part of this and be able to have new friends and family that I can help and get helped. This is a totally new chapter of my life and I am very excited. Thank you all so much!