Hello All. Feel the need to post. Going to do an online meeting at noon. Just feeling out of control...overwhelmed....negative emotions about myself....just struggling.

I have 33 days of abstinence. At least my version. I need to change this. I find that I am still overeating, but not binging. I try and view this as a step in the right direction. Progress not perfection. This is hard for me. I just feel so tired.

I am feeling conflicted about how I should handle my food. Should I count calories, or is this still giving too much power to my food? Should I just eat healthy with normal portions? But, I can't trust myself to normal portions. I think that I need to move away from a number on the scale, it just causes me too much anxiety which makes me want to eat more. But need to figure out what is healthy. I need to learn to be comfortable in my skin, but haven't figured that one out yet.

Ok...thanks for letting me vent and rant.

You're getting there - you can do this whatever way you chose to go

If it helps, I know how you feel. When I think consciously about what I am going to eat, I feel like I am obsessing about food and giving it way too much significance in my life when I am trying to concentrate my life on OTHER things.But then if I don't think about counting calories and perfectly balancing my diet, I can't trust myself to eat well automatically. It is a very hard balancing act that I too am struggling to get right. I don't have any answers for you, just consolation in knowing you're not alone.Good luck!

Healthy4good,

Congrats on thirty days. I'm sorry you're struggling. Do you go to a face to face meeting regularly and have a sponsor?

Most people that come to OA can so relate to your feelings. Hand over those feelings to your HP. You don't have to suffer alone.

I've learned that abstinence is different for every OA member. Some OA's use a simple food plan and tweak their food plans as they get stronger. Other's do better with a structured rules based program.

For me, I've had to not concentrate so much on the food which meant keeping my food plan simple, to work on the steps and start doing "emotional and spiritual inventory" on a daily basis. It sucks sometimes. Those feelings are real and hard. But the food and after effects of bingeing are harder than the feelings I think because then it's just adding the guilt and physical symptoms of the food on top of the negative emotions. It's the first time I'm actually delving into the "whys" of my eating and not beating myself up. It's very freeing.

The scale can be obsessive for me too. I need to put it away and get it down only every week or two.

The OA book titled [I]Abstinence[I] has been helpful to me in defining abstinence. I read a few chapters again this morning.

Charlene

I am so very sorry that you are struggeling, however you have done so much and come so far from what I have read. Only you can make the decision as to what to do food wise, count calories or what, it works different for everyone, but I am just glad that everyone can be here for you (and us) to vent and release your emotions to those who know what you are going through. You give me hope, and you give me strength, just by reading your post. I wish you the best of luck, and hope that tomorrow is much easier for you than today.