Holly: btw, looks like you've got some fun reading for your book club! If you are ever looking for other authors, check out Alice Munroe. The way she evokes the small towns/brush of Canada is astounding.

She is on our list!! I love her work. I live in one of those small Canadian towns. She lives about an hour from here.

hello chicks,
sorri i missed a few days, just too much family stuff to take time for myself to post. it was a nice weekend. we got a lot of snow! it is cold, all the extras were cancelled for the rest of the day. nice to have no outside plans for an entire sunday! DH is going to take the kids sledding, so i will have a few hours to myself!!

holly- be yourself! your book club sounds like fun, just be the true you and enjoy!

spores- glad you are starting to feel better, colds are the pits! stay warm and take care!

susieme ditto! get well soon. good job loosing the lb! keep up the great work!!

mychoice- yes we have quite a bit of snow. too bad most of it came on the weekend. i could of used a snow day from work lol. glad you got some extra sleep. take care of yourself!!

girlie good for you getting up to do your routine!! how was the dinner?

suzy1965- i had the same issue here. i used to feed the family one meal and then make myself a diet dinner and feel totally deprived. it helps when we are all eating the same thing. great job!
well i hope i didn't miss anyone here's to the start of a great new week! take care of yourselves!!

Hi, y'all--

I haven't had much time to sit at the computer the past few days, between work, trying to avoid the inaugural hoopla and the snow. Plus, I've been struggling with something all month, that almost wants to be the flu, but can't quite make up its mind...just enought to be annoying.

I'm down a pound this week. I was hoping for more, but I won't complain . I was hoping to start a low-impact aerobics class last week, but it was cancelled due to low enrollment. I need to find ways to be active despite the snow and cold. But I'm feeling positive! Friends will be over later for football. I've had a big pot of chili, big bags of chips, and a few six-packs of beer in the kitchen since yesterday, and so far I've managed to ignore them. I'd like to lose six more pounds by Valentine's Day, which I hope will inspire me to not pig out today.

Have a good day

judy

Hi,
We didn't get the snow they predicted here, but it's still very cold and we did have some ice. I'm wishing it were April! However, I'm going to make the most of the time I have to work on losing more of this weight so that this spring I will be thinner and have to buy new clothes. I figure if I continue to work as hard as I am and stay on track, I can be down 15 lbs. That's a huge difference.

I just got back from a workout at the Y. I did my 30 min or cardio and I also did my weight work for upper and lower body. I usually only do lower body weight work on Sunday's but tomorrow I have to hit the Y after DH's doctor's appointment and will only have time for a 30 min walk. DH is seeing his doctor tomorrow to get the ball rolling on having surgery to fix his abdominal heria. He's had it for a few years, but it's really starting to show, so it's time to get it taken care of. I'm trying to not worry about the surgery.

I'm decided to really work hard this week on staying away from sweets. I am really having a hard time with it. I think I'm having sugar cravings, and I'm just going to have to stay away from it for a while until my body quits craving it. Because I have no control over how much of it I'm eating. I'm eating way to many sweets and realizing that I have had to many calories because of it, and then not eating the nutrious things that I should have to fill my body up. So, until I get the sugar under control, I need to stay away from those sweets.

Judy: Congrat's on the pound. Doesn't it feel great to see those scales go in the right direction?

Jodi: I hope you enjoyed the time you had to yourself today. Isn't it nice to be in the house all alone sometimes?

Holly: I love Trading Spaces. You know, come to think of it, I love anything that is madeover!

Spores: If I were all alone some days I would sleep the day away. I really do feel like I'm sleep deprived sometimes. I read somewhere that if you don't get enough sleep, you can gain weight. Has anyone else read that?

Susan: Congrats on losing a pound.

Well, I just heard the dryer go off, so I better go get the clothes hung up.

Evenin' Chicks,

Lazy morning. Took the kids to SS. Then took them skating for 1 1/2 hours and then watched 2 Atom hockey games. Came home for a light supper. They had baths and haircuts. All set to start a new week.
We were snowed in yesterday. It was kinda nice. DH has 2 more tiles to drill and then ALL the tiles are up. Can you say GROUT!!?? It is really looking like a room now....well, half a room.There is still a whole wall and sink missing.
He went to help a friend move and has been gone all aft.
I am looking forward to Desperate Housewives and early to bed.
5 kids and storytime tomorrow.

Susie~ it is totally true about lack of sleep, stress etc affecting you weight. Your body is being deprived so it stores more fat to protect itself.

Judy~ great loss!! Hope you fight the bug!!

Jodi~ You busy Gal. Missed you ! Hope your quiet time was delightful!!

New week chicks. I am keeping the same challenge/goals for this week. You gals?? Any goals???

Hey everyone, I am glad to hear everyone seems to be feeling better.
I haven't posted in a few days. Some how I have just rambler few the last few days. With no purpose or plan. just
being. I haven't been sticking to diet or exercising. I'm not blue, just in a disorganized fog. I hope I get it together quick!
I have to go to opthamalogist this afternoon, hopefuly he will release me.
I will try to post more later.


EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY
BIG HUGS TO ALL

Hello everyone. Only four more days until Friday!

This weekend was good. Not as much "chill" time as usual. But I did go in and get workouts in both Saturday and Sunday so I took this morning off. It was so weird...I haven't slept in until 7am on a week day in forever it seems! I kept waking up every half hour, paranoid that I would miss my alarm and sleep in or something that I didn't rest like I should have and I should have just gone to the gym anyway. But I don't want to overdo it and make myself feel like I have to go every day.

The Scottish dinner was good. I tell ya, you gotta love a man in a kilt LOL! There were actually a few younger guys in their late 20's wearing them, and yum yum yum! Hee hee. I should have my DH wear his next year...and by this time next year, I should be able to wear my short plaid wrap skirts. I have two very nice ones that are both about a size 16. The food was um...okay. The haggis isn't bad...yep, it's something like ground up sheep intestines mixed with onions and spices and cooked inside the sheep stomach. They put a couple tablespoons on the plate. Tastes kinda like liver pate. There's a meat pie called a britie that I ate half of, and then mashed potatoes, mashed turnips and peas. At least I got a couple servings of veggies in.

I weighed on Saturday and it was the same weight as last week. That must mean with all the exercise is evening out with all the calories that I'm eating...which must be way too many calories because according to the machine, I'm burning around 850 calories per day! I think a lot of it is not eating enough veggies and too many heavy things like bread and fried stuff. I ate fried chicken twice this past week.

Arrgh. Just keep going.

Girlie

mychoice: I know what you mean about sweets! I can pass up chips and things, but get me in front of a pie and it's all over. I have been trying to satisfy that sweet urge with healthy foods that don't start the sugar-craving cycle: fruit, low-fat yogurt, tea with stevia, smoothies. It works some of the time. I tried some of those low-cal frozen deserts (from Weight Watchers and Skinny Cow), and they're good, but for me, I just can't eat them in moderation. I wind up eating a whole box, which definately isn't low-cal. It is a small step for me from one low-cal ice cream bar to an entire pie topped off with a pint of full-fat ice cream. I think it's a tremendous goal to cut out sweets -- good for you! I too have heard that proper sleep and weight loss are connected, but don't know much about it. Anyone know the science on this?

Holly: Wow, skating, that is a workout! Last time I went ice skating, my legs were sore for a week. I think your goals sound awesome, and I will join in: my goal is to exercise. Even once, even a little. Exercise.

Debbie: Glad to see you. Organizing...I am with you on that. As soon as I get my organization messed up, I fall right off track. Good luck with it!

Girlie: Well, sheep stomach isn't too high a price to pay for boys in skirts! Sounds like it was fun. Kudos on all the exercise. I find that when I do manage to get my workout in, I tend to eat better, because I don't want to waste all the hard work! Finding that balance of eating and exercise is tough.

I'm reminded yet again today of how great it is to have people with whom to talk about this whole deal. I live just outside of Boulder, CO, which has got to be one of the most fitness- and body-conscious places on earth, and there really almost no oeverweight people here! It can feel awfully lonely, especially when all the converstaions around the water cooler are really toned and tan people talking about how they climbed a fourteener over the weekend. I'm so glad I can come here and talk to all of you going through the same journey. All the different perspectives and experiences...keeps me going!

Off to class! This is the beginning of my insanely busy month, so balancing that with trying to start an exercise program and eat sanely is going to be my biggest challenge. So my plan today is to park as far away as possible from my classroom. It's a start!

This really long....
I have had a very emotional day . I hope by letting this go It will help with the weight issues.
Last night as I was tidying the kitchen, after the kids had been colouring, I found a cream coloured piece of construction paper, rakishly folded in half with a small pencil drawn heart on it. It was the work of DS( age 6). I opened it and inside there was a picture drawn of 6 colourful daisies in a garden with a bright yellow sun in the sky.The note read:

Dear MUM i Luv U MUM yor the bes eVr 5000 times

Indescribable JOY.

I did my weights and crunches last night. No cheese all day and no snacks after supper.Yippee! It is really not hard if you actually do it.
I was feeling unexplainably *****y yesterday and was mad at myself for it. After exercising last night my neck popped and crackled. Poof. *****yness gone. Ahhh!!
Another upside of exercise.

This is my journal entry..... after storytime and arriving home around 11am.

What a roller coaster. I am not even sure I will post this. But I really, really, really need to get it out. I have 5 kids here and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sob. I made a cuppa tea and I am doing the 3 part yoga breathe .Whoosh.
It is my Grandmother’s 95th Birthday on Friday. My Dad and Aunt have planned at tea at their church from 1-3 Saturday afternoon. I was asked to pour tea. I have offered my help in many ways and was not responded to. Then they decided to invite family only to go for a buffet dinner after. It is also my DH’s birthday on Saturday. I asked my Dad to order a piece of cake for my husband for after the dinner and we can sing him happy birthday. No response once again.
I got am IM this morning from a step cousin once removed. Telling about how her mom and aunt are doing this that and the other blah, blah..........
I have very strong emotions about this branch of the family. Whether founded or not they reared their ugly head this morning. I felt blind, blind rage. I shook and shook.
These are the children and grandchildren of my fathers much older step sister from his father’s first marriage. This step Aunt died in 1973. These people disowned all of us, when I was very young, including my Grandmother who always treated them as if their were her biological own. My grandfather died before I was born.
In my late teens these people showed up as if nothing ever happened and I HATE they way they schmooze and “buy” my Grandmother’s attention. I am totally bitter. And it is stupid. They are awful, small, petty, lying people. I feel compassion for them but have a lot of trouble dealing with the games.
My grandmother has been my soul mate and best friend every day of my life and I know in my heart without a single doubt that I am hers. We share a beautiful and unbreakable bond.

The other part of this is the feelings that come from my childhood in regards to my aunt, my parents and sometimes my sister. They have all these “rules” and attitudes and act like semi royalty. They are so cold. They quite openly , collectively and always have treated me like the overly sensitive, unbalanced, immature, freak of the family. There are moments of closeness here and there. The last few years have been good. They all socialize frequently and I am welcome but I don’t like it. I prefer one on one. They are much more real in that setting. I stick mostly to the holidays for group stuff. I know what I can and cannot deal with.
The bottom line is I cannot remember a single time after the age of 10 that I was supported, treated with value, love and respected by my family members. I fact it was quite the opposite. There dozens and dozens of incidents that would blow your minds. Only with the “normalness” of getting married and having children( at age 33) has my Mom accepted me as who I am and that was after my dear husband blasted her. There is a peace now. It is about a lot of acceptance on all of our parts. It is about forgiving. It is a growing and letting the past go.
I received an email form my Aunt that put me over the edge.

Re Birthday cake for DH. Would he really want to celebrate his birthday with a cake in a crowd of people, at Grandma's birthday, that he hardly knows? Would it not be more of a special celebration for him to celebrate perhaps on Sun. with his own family and friends?
This is code for “WE” as in the royal “WE” do not approve. Why not just say, I don’t think it is a good idea.The people there will be immediate family and some cousin who he has known for 8 year.
It may not seem like a big deal, especially for a grown woman of 39, with a wonderful husband and 2 loving kids. It just slayed me. I feel like I am 12, sitting in my room crying my heart out wishing someone loved me and would “hear” me.

Thing is, my Grandma always did. None of this other baloney should matter.

This party has nothing do with me and her. None of it should matter and yet I am devastated.
Why now?

I have always wondered how I got born into this bunch. I am sure they wonder the same.
I have started to realize that my journey and my childhood has prepared me to be the parent my son desperately needs. I pray his journey will be easier than mine. I can assure him I will never abandon him in any way. I will make my own mistakes but his soul will never go un-nourished.
My daughter is an easier child now but the same passion is there for her. And for DH as well.

My head is pounding. I will post this to release it. This is not a pity party. I am strong, intelligent and capable. I will honour these emotions and let them go.

I wish for peace.

I am feeling much better now that I have had some time to digest. It is not THAT big of a deal. It was good to get those feeling out though. I have NOT overeaten.

Spores:
We're glad we can talk to you too My friend moved to Denver a year and a half ago and I can tell she's a bit depressed...she's gained a good amount of weight since she's been there and she's mentioned the lack of overweight people there. I want to go skiing but DH says we'd never last ten minutes on the slopes because you have to be really fit to ski. Does your BF have weight issues?

Debbie:
Hope you can get organized soon. Once you do, it starts to become routine. Although I messed up TWICE last week. Every night, I lay out my gym clothes and pack my bag with my after-shower clothes so when I get up at 4.45a, all I have to do is throw on my gym clothes, put my hair back and put my contacts in. Once I forgot my after-shower sweats and had to put my sweaty exercise pants back on...ew. Also, one day I must have left my comb in the shower and the next day I couldn't comb my hair. Small examples, but the little things can really throw you off.

Susie:
I tried the Desperate Housewives thing but it just didn't interest me. I do love to watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I always cry.


Judy:
Congrats on the pound! Keep it up!!!!

OK...gotta run all!

Girlie

Holly:
Awwww about the picture DS drew for you

Sorry about the family situation. My SIL feels the same way about her family. She feels like she never was accepted and she has mentioned many examples of this, like what you have mentioned too. I even often feel like they "like" me better than they like her...for example, I'll get hugged and kissed and she will get a simple "Hi". Stuff like that. But they just love me and DH (her brother). It gets frustrating.

Hang in there. That's all you can do.

Girlie

hello everyone!
i am cold and feeling really p.m.s.ey (well thats not a word. i feel really *****y!!) TOM is due at the end of the week. like girlie said just 4 more days till friday! nothing in particular bothering me just on edge, hormone stuff, i even feel kind of itchy, like my skin is crawling. made myself some tea with honey and lemon and came here to vent. i love you gals! i can just let it all out and move on. it was not a stellar weekend with the food. i am back on track today, i need to find a monday-thursday diet. the weekends just kill me!!

girlie- great job with the workouts!! glad you got to stay in bed til 7 today, i know the feeling of looking at the clock every half hour all too well. keep trying with the food, you will get there!!

spores- good luck with your goals. nice first step parking far away! all those little extra steps add up.

mychoice- good luck with eliminating sweets, i am a huge cake/cookie/pie fan. it is very hard but i know you can do it!!

judy- congrats on the loss!!! keep up the great work!!

holly- thank you for sharing that with us. families are the pits sometimes. enjoy your grandmas birthday and don't let them get to you!! the card from DS sounds beautiful, i carry this small little scrap of paper in my checkbook that says "mom i (heart) you luv patch" i have had it for 5 years now from my little DS. give him a hug!!

debbie- good luck at the doctor, i hope all goes well. stick with it the fog will lift soon!!
hope you all have a great evening!!

HUGS Jodi! I cant believe you thanked me for sharing. I thank ALL of you for taking the time to read when I spill my guts.

We all have our food demons. Sweets aren't that hard for me. I struggle with breads and cheeses. I get excited by a good loaf of bread. Maybe I am a freak!! LOL!
Girlie~ dont forget the non scale victories and how good you are treating your body with the good food and workouts. You are awesome!!

Spores~It would be hard not to connect with people where you live.I was more self conscious in the city.I am glad you found us. I enjoy reading your post and your feedback!

Debbie~ hope you got a good report and all is well with your eye. HUGS!

I thought this would be fun to share. A little light heartedness!
Copy and paste and then erase my answers.

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? The Highlands or Northern Ontario
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Flannel PJ pants
3. WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Canadian Idol...embarrassing
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6-6:45
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? dishwasher
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I would love to sing
7. FAVORITE COLOR? I love all colours
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER Led Zeppelin 3- the whole album
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? yes
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Chronicles of Narnia, Watership Down, The Little Princess, Little House On the Prairie, Anne of Green Gables, Nancy Drew...... I read a LOT
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Fall
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Wow...bring harmony and peace
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? butterfly
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? dont know
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? I like every day
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? a cement block, air mattress, rollerblades, hockey sticks, sticks from the beach,blankets, rubbish
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? neither turns me on
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY? Tobermory, Ontario
20.IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? lay on the beach reading
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? Teel
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? Hollyhocks!
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? Greek or Thai platter

OK, got back from my 2nd job and I'm feeling restless. I hope I'm not too tired in the morning for my kickboxing class. I got off of my regular job at 5p and went into the grocery store to work at 6pm. I'm bagging this week otherwise they'd give me no hours. So they made me go out and do the carts in the lot which totally sucked, and no one showed me how to do it...I just started pushing carts. I think I hurt my lower back too. Hey that was exercise, eh? The thing that sucks the most is coming home around 9.30p from the 2nd job and hungry...STARVING after seeing all this food on the conveyor belt. DH made a frozen pizza so I had just one slice and shared a Lean Cuisine with him (rice and beans). I had a cup of soymilk and I'm ready for bed. I wanted to check in really quickly. I feel like I need some support and to vent a bit or else I'll go munching again. It's gonna be another night like this tomorrow and Thursday. I also work there Sunday. I took a vacation day at my day job on Wednesday because I've got a 2nd interview with a company...and I know I'll be tired.

OK, I am going to answer Holly's questionnaire and go to bed! Thanks for posting this Holly:

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Hmmm...I'd love to live in the English countryside!
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?---- Old Navy sweatpants
3. WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? ---- Janis Ian Live CD
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? ----- 4.45a
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? ----- wooden spoons
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? --- violin...I HAVE one...
7. FAVORITE COLOR? ------ grey
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER --- Paula Cole "This Fire"
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? --- yes, in a way.
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? --- Judy Blume novels!
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? --- ditto on Fall
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? --- Super fat blaster?
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? ---no, but I'm trying to get DH to let me get a Hello Kitty tattoo after 50 pounds lost!
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? --- not very well
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? ---- wow...good one but not sure.
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? ---- I like Sundays
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? --- WWII stretchers...don't ask!
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? --- SUSHI!
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY? --- Minneapolis, MN over the summer
20.IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? ---I'd love to play in a pipe band at the Edinburgh Tattoo in Scotland.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? --- Holly
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? --- gerbera daisies
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? ---- miso soup, shrimp tempura, various sushi and then red bean ice cream! YUM.


Good night all. Six hours from now the alarm will sound...