As women we are taught at a young age that we're supposed to care about what other people think of us and we're always supposed to be nice. So this is particularly difficult for women to overcome even in old age. But I agree with you SM, I find that as I get older (although not 40yet), I care less and less about what people think.

Especially now that i'm doing IE. Before I did IE I hardly ever spoke about my diets or my eating disorder. Now I'm a bit more open about it and I make references to it. Not sure why other than the fact that I feel like I'm on the road to recovery and I finally don't feel complete and utter shame about it.

Hello Everyone,

I've been practicing IE for about 3 weeks now and Ive gone from 118 lbs to a smidge over 127 lbs. That's a gain of about 9 lbs.

I'm not panicking or anything, if that's what my body thinks is the right weight for me than that's where I'll stay. My question though, is after three weeks can that possibly be water weight? Or is that just fat now?

Also, how long did it take you on your IE journey before your weight stabilized and you stopped gaining? I know that this is personal for everyone, but even a ballpark figure would be nice to know.

I know that the scale can be triggering for some - but I find that it is a useful tool, and as such I don't see a reason to stop using it. I have read from other IE'rs that they also use the scale still without problems.

I actually think if you can use the scale and not let it bother you at all it's great. Lots of trim people don't worry about it they hop on and off and so well what do you know now I weigh x without any judgement.

In terms of where you will end up I don't think there is a meaningful rule of thumb it depends on where you start and how you move into a comfortable pattern. In the end the more you eat healthy and exercise the trimmer you will be, but you have to enjoy it not be restricting at all. For me and for wannabe and Locke we all started at higher weights than we wanted and were looking for a downward trend. You are eating upward to a comfortable number, It also matters how much of the making peace with restricted food thing you need to go through until you are past needing the junky stuff excessively. I was through that a long time ago. For me I'd say I leveled out in a couple months but you know I've only been doing it well for 4 months or so we shall see.

Probably not all that helpful to you...I was watching a YouTube video of Evelyn Tribole speaking in October of 2013 at Iowa University group and she said all things being equal by all means make the healthier food choice.

I think you will start to sense when you feel you are eating comfortably and then after a few months you will probably be there.

Koali I notice you ask this type of question a lot. "How long before xyz happens." There's no answer to that question because this is not a quantitative process. Asking it also makes you result-driven when it's not necessary. This is process driven. Asking these questions slows down the whole process by disabling you to focus on your current eating experiences. It's easy to turn IE into a diet. There are no rules but you do have to be compliant to the process and release yourself from these questions for which there are no answers. Eventually things will shift and it will get easier. I can understand that it is frightening to see a gain. I only gained 4 and then lost it and it was distressing for me too. Now the trend is downward.

And I think weight over time is going to go up or down slightly depending on where you are physically and emotionally but the point is I would be a slow trend up or down not the out of control, binge regain which is utterly unsatisfying. I intend to enjoy my food from here forward.

I can understand what you're saying - I do need to focus more on the process not the immediate results. This is a time to learn to enjoy food - and relegate it to a normal place in my life.

I was honestly surprised by how much my weight gain didn't upset me. Before IE a number like that might have brought me to tears, I wouldn't have gone out all day; but today I saw it and just thought "eh, it may be higher, but at least I'm not hungry all the time anymore and I've had so much more free time now that I'm not hung up on food." I would rather be at a higher-ish weight where I can eat and feel full than at 118 where I thought about food all day long and was always feeling faint and starving.

I think the hardest part for me is NOT knowing xyz will happen. If someone told me "you're going to gain weight until you hit 130 then your body will settle" or something like that it would be so much easier. But unfortunately this is one of those things that only time will tell and I've always struggled with being patient - part of the reason low cal diets appealed to me. I guess I'll just have to let the months pass and let my body sort itself out.

If anything this taught me that diets really DON'T work. I would have stopped restricting eventually and given over to complete binges. If I gained this much without binges I can't even imagine how much weight I would have put back on with binging - likely higher than when I started dieting.

I know this feeling! I don't use a scale so I have no idea what my current weight is, but I honestly don't care. I can tell that some days it's higher than others, but I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin now that I don't have that constant, nagging voice in the back of my head asking me "Do you know how much food you've eaten today??? Are you crazy???" or even "Wow, you were sooo good today! You ate healthy and exercised - why can't you do that ALL THE TIME???" "Good" days or "bad" days, it made no difference - I was always berating myself.

It's so nice not to be thinking about food 24/7, isn't it? Getting up from one meal and planning the next one. Not being able to enjoy the company you're in for worrying about whether or not you will be able to stay "on plan."

What a nightmarish life. I, for one, am done. with. it.

I'm sorry if my post was harsh, I was having a bad day yesterday and didn't mean to sound so quaggy. I would say you're doing a great job and that the beginning stages of IE are the most difficult but I'm confident that you will come through it. How I wish that I could tell you that now the pounds are melting off but they're not yet, I can't quantify it like that. All I know is that I'm more relaxed around food, I'm thinking about it less and less, I'm making better choices for no reason other than I just feel like it, and my binging behavior has reduced drastically. I too am still dependent on the scale, but far far less than I was when I was dieting. This morning for example I lost another 2lbs since last week and it's taking all my might not to rejoice or react to it with some sort of action.

I'm a 200lb woman, and the truth is you are already at what I consider a socially acceptable weight. I don't know how to advise you about weight loss because I can't help but think how nice it would be to weight 127lbs myself. But I know that food issues run independent of weight and I know fully well that my issues and your issues are not dissimilar. Your body may want to be in the 120's and that may be a truth you'll have to come to terms with. I don't know where my body will settle but for both us of these facts are inconsequential. Our focus should be our relationship with ourselves and food, and making sure we can face food and the mirror on a daily basis regardless of what we weigh, don't you think? I suppose that if I had to make a choice between being thin and having my food issues or being at my current weight without food issues I'd choose my current weight. The freedom of food anxiety is much too enjoyable than maintaining a low weight with food stress.

Some of the posts in other threads can be so depressing. I never want to go back to feeling that way again. It's hard to watch other people struggle with so much self-negativity. All this talk of taking control of their diet, getting back on the wagon, failing the diet is so illogical to me now that I can't imagine how I lived my life like that for so long. Recently a new poster came on board with a history of eating disorders looking for diet and exercise tips who refused any advice about ED treatment and instead wants to focus on dieting. It's heart breaking.

Wannabe hoping your holiday and stressful period are progressing with too much anxiety one way or the other.

I cooked Easter dinner here and we just finished, I really was not intuitive I just ate and it was mustard / brown sugar glazed ham, goldenrod toast ( a family tradition here anybody heard of it?! ) basically hard boiled egg whites chopped and folded into white sauce over toast with the yolks crumbled on top. We has beans, garden corn, baked onions, and a carrot cake that was much like a fruitcake very dense and moist and a heavy layer of cream cheese icing. Oh my, I just ate. I am very full not uncomfortably stuffed but I could have eaten far less and been satisfied! Oh well tis a holiday.

I've never heard of goldenrod toast, that sounds unique! What part of the country is known for this?

We're mellowing out after a long stressful holiday. We host a big fat greek party here at my house complete with a whole lamb on a spit and all the greek delicacies you would expect, spinach pies, stuffed grape leaves, greek salads and dips, greek lasagna, and grilled sausages. I was bustling busy all day prepping things and racked up 10,000 steps and 27 flights of stairs without even leaving my house lol. I ate a good solid breakfast and barely ate during the party. I picked at things but didn't want much, I don't even eat lamb. After everyone left and I did a thorough cleanup I sat and had a nice piece of lasagna and thoroughly enjoyed every bite. I can't eat during my own parties, if I can't enjoy it and pay attention to it then I don't want to eat it. I'm finding myself not wanting to eat unless I can pay adequate attention to my food. I've been practicing mindful eating for a while now and I can't seem to muster up my ability to eat mindlessly anymore.

Hi Wannabee,
No worries, we all have stressful days!

While the scale didn't bother me at all, today I wore a pair of my skinny jeans and they were TIGHT as in not comfortable. And they used to fit just right. I don't know why they bothered me so much while the scale didn't affect me. For right now is it probably best not to wear my skinny/tight clothes? Honestly wearing them today made me feel rather down on myself. ...... I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that my clothing size is not what makes me a pretty or good person!

Wannabe how excellent. The appreciation of mindfulness is so terrific you are sure making amazing progress. Great to watch.

Koali tight clothes are a bad thing for me. And everybody looks worse in too tight clothes. Wear something you feel good in. It is easy to replace the scale with skinny jeans, I do that and it can be equally as destructive.

I didn't do very well at all the last several days not in tune with my body and I do not want that to continue. I'm trying to figure out the best way to snap myself back around. Years ago I used to what I called "fruit flushes" with smoothies (equal parts orange juice, skim milk, plain yogurt and 1/2 cup frozen fruit). I never thought of them as a way to lose weight but they just unburdened me of that heavy eating too much feeling and I got sincerely hungry again. My husband is going out of town this week and I may do a day or that. It is amazing how you can lose the good feeling of eating IE right and get into eating unmindfully so easily.

Yoga at 9 and a walk today, too.

It's normal to have ups and downs. What's not normal is running with it when you're down. I've done that too much. My ups and downs are not drastic anymore since I've been doing IE. Fresh food cleanses are great for me too, sometimes I feel heavy from whatever I ate the day before in a physical and mental sense and I resign myself to salad. I have to crave the salad though. But eating something completely fresh and raw is a great pick me up, I feel like it oxygenates my body (does that make sense?) and then able to move forward with my hunger. I also found that if things are getting hectic I have to literally force myself to have a mindful meal.

Yesterday my morning was very hectic. I had a lot to do to prep for the party and I had already planned out a very good breakfast (left over steak and eggs!) Everytime I went to prepare it someone would run into the kitchen requesting my full attention for the party prep. I kept getting diverted from even making my breakfast. When I finally had the opportunity I took it. I sat down to eat and wouldn't you know it someone needed me urgently in the back yard for some crisis. I made to stand up and then sat and calmly said "I'm sorry, I really can't do anything until I finish my breakfast, I'll be quick and I'll be there soon but I need to finish first." It takes a lot for me to say something like that, when there seems to be an emergency and I'm so proud of myself for taking the time to do that. Because my breakfast was so hearty I was free not to be distracted by food thoughts and hunger during the party and felt less anxious and more stable all day long.

I took it even further than that and set aside time for myself to pretty up. Usually at these affairs I throw my hair in a pony tail and put on sneakers so I can run around. I took thirty minutes to quickly shower, choose something pretty to wear, fixed my hair and makeup, and even wore some jewelry. I look good in all the photos, much different than my usual disheveled mess and doing so did not cause me to fail in my duties as a hostess. I felt a lot more relaxed during the party too, is it strange that I'm attributing all this to IE?

You are taking of yourself, respecting yourself at all levels and managing the demands on you in the right way. How absolutely heart warming. High fives to you, wannabe!

I didn't do the cleanse today and my eating was so so, but I had a healthy salad and simple pork chop for dinner which tasted just right I feel calm and satisfied.

I have decided to pick up knitting again. I ordered the yarn and spent the afternoon remembering how to do it, finished the front of my little purse. The back is the same, it gets lined and then you add bamboo handles. The yarn is actually nearly white with a metallic thread that picks up many colors that don't show in the image very well. The pattern image is after my piece, but I want the wood to show on the tops of the handles. It was so soothing, my husband is out of town and it rained. Just what the doctor ordered today.