Hello Declutterers

I emptied 5 old moving boxes this morning*credit & see attached jpg*. Very little has gone to the donation pile for tomorrow. I was stumped about where to put the contents of the boxes (all art-related: jewelry, book-making material, painting, pastels, a variety of papers-eek) so I just designated the drawers in the new furniture as their temporary home. I figured emptying boxes vs. filling new drawers. I opted to empty the boxes. It's not perfect and that's ok *credit*. I also opened 2 small boxes (emptied), one cooler (temp storage for ceramics I've made-ok) and one larger box with my in-process aluminum can recycling project. Wow. Since I took the jpg I've broken the boxes down. I had to talk myself into that as my inner saboteur said:
keep the boxes
you paid for those boxes
they're good sturdy ones
you can use them for craft shows/storage/when you move again
you can find somewhere to store them in here/in your studio
you should give them away/put them online for someone to take them who cant afford to buy them

ARGH. All those thoughts=me keeping boxes that are neither rare nor unusual. I need the space more. I need the act of getting rid/dealing with my stuff from beginning to end more.

I might do a sink of dishes. I might do a load of laundry. I will pick up my charcoal and continue working on my newest painting.

Bye.

OnebyOne: Great decision making on where to store the art supplies for retrieval. Thinking about using your empty drawers sounds like a great plan. As far as your boxes, the question I would ask is what are you GAINING by giving them up?

Thanks for sharing your picture, yay! for empty boxes.

Kudos, onebyone, for deciding to break those boxes down. It sounds like a great solution for now to put things in drawers. As you progress you will intuitively know where you want certain things. I trust your process.

BBE, yay for leaving those books on the curb! Resisting the urge to bring home more stuff is such an important part of the process for me. How did my home get so cluttered? Duh, I brought it all in piece by piece.

znaoic, great job attacking what you could see to deal with. Anything picked up/pitched/put away reduces clutter. I just use the old clutter/new clutter concept on a daily basis because it reminds me to keep delving into the old stuff which is where I really reduce quantity of stuff that I have.

Tami(helping rachel), yikes for cold weather! Thought I'd share that the grocery store is becoming less of a trigger than it used to be. Some days are better than others, too, but recognizing those triggers is so helpful.

I hit lots of stores today looking for a certain kind of gloves. credit. I didn't buy any substitutes and will wait until I "find" the ones I really want. I wouldn't be buying any but last week I lost my favorite gloves. I've called everyplace I might have left them to no avail.

Interesting observation....I walked all over many stores and "looked" at lots of stuff while I got some spontaneous exercise. Looking was enjoyable and I absolutely had no urge to buy anything other than what I went in for.
That is a good sign.

Good night. See ya'll soon.

LEXXISS-DEBBIE I was wondering if one of these days or in the next few weeks you would share insights in how you lost 92 lbs and have maintained. I am interested in your mindset. What are some new truths that are alive and well in your neuropathways! A favorite saying of mine is neurons that fire together wire together. Doing and believing the same things over and over. Thanks for considering this.

Good luck in finding just the right gloves and not settling.

Hello on a frosty morning:

I woke up gathered up my donation stuff and it's on the porch waiting for the diabetes donation truck. Only 1 bag this time. But, more importantly this might be the third or fourth month I've donated stuff to them so that's good, persistent work. *credit*

1-2-3
chachacha .

Today:

declutter more boxes, max. of 3 = old clutter.
doing 1 sinkful of dishes=new clutter
clean & put away the toaster we rarely use; wipe new exposed counter beneath it.=clean

bye for now.

OnebyOne! Yay, for donating to a great organization. I am glad to be in a "Line Dance" with all of you on this site. Cha-Cha-Cha- is right!

Hello,

Not sure what I am going to do today. Woke up to zero degree weather with a cold. Just sipping on my cinnamon roll coffee with almond milk.

I know that I a have a date with my journal sometime this morning. My Father called my older sister yesterday and told her that he was thinking of remarrying. My Mother was a constant anchor in my life. She was diagnosed with cancer at 37 and passed away at 60. She kept the calm in our home and presevered so we would have family connection despite a chaotic environment. She was a phenomenal cook and wrote a cooking column for our local paper.
When she passed away my Father promised that he would be true to me and my siblings, continuing to carry out her legacy. He married 4 months later without contacting any of us and letting us know. His 2nd wife took him to the cleaners and divorced one year later. He broke down crying and asked that we would open up to let him back into our lives. We all did and until around March when he stopped calling or making an attempt to see us for another 6 months. I saw him for the first time at Christmas even though I made several attempts to see him or invite him to see our family-at least his grandkids. He refused to come for Thanksgiving even those we were only 20 minutes away. (We traveled 7 hours) He threw a fit and called a family meeting between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I saw him for the first time all year on Christmas. He asked who I was and I told him "I don't know, you named me." I connected to him and let my love for him flow from a place within me that knew I could love him without forcing him to give back. It was an interesting time. The truth is I love my Dad even though he doesn't show up in my life. I am grateful that I have "other resources that flow to my heart" that help me to know that I am enough.

Wow- guess I won't have to journal later, since I released it here. I am learning to express my grief when it happens instead of lugging it around with me for years to come. My truth is this...I don't have to feed that sad little girl within with junk food or wine. I can care and listen to her sadness that wonders how another new wife will affect my connection with my him. He doesn't know how to connect and love his 4 kids. He says that we won't forgive him for a lifetime of hurtful choices. The truth on my part, is that I have forgiven him, but there is a difference in learning to MAKING AN EFFORT and trusting again.

My whole point for me is to get this up and out. My decisions to take care of myself are not disloyal or wrong. Loving myself and caring for myself is a brave act. I can unblend/defuse from being emotionally neglected. I think I will write a new beck card. "Even if no one else will take care of me, I have permission to care of me by making life giving choices."

That's all folks.

Wow, this is an awesome thread!! So glad I came across it!! I'm moving in a few months and literally need to let go...yes let go...of half my stuff to move successfully. I really am a clutter bug, first rate hoarder.... been here over 3 +1/2 years have so much stuff, no idea what's here. I sort it, still keep a lot just because it "might be useful to me or someone". So, would like to join this thread if I could. Long way to go....already dumped 10-15 bags/boxes of things in December, still looks pretty much the same.

anybody else have this?

Helping Rachel
I am glad you were able to share about your father. I have not experienced having a parent remarry but I think it would be very challenging. We are so connected to our parents, in both good times and bad times.

I made it through the day. I am going through a migraine phase and once again came home from work with a migraine. I ended up on the couch as soon as I got home. Still at the end of the evening, I went into my home office and dealt with some of the paper clutter. I am learning to take credit for these small steps. Thanks so much to this thread. I feel so at home here and it is so motivating to keep going.

onebyoneSo what did you end up doing with the boxes? I have a bad habit of saving stupid boxes too. "this on is a good size for mailing gifts", "this one is sturdy" arrggghh. Why do I spend time and energy on CARDBOARD? I am getting better but still keep a few after I flatten them to take up less space. Kudos on all the unpacking. Putting your things in temporary drawers is better than the boxes, eh?

TamiLoved your story about the beer in the produce section. "belly up to the bar amongst the oranges and bananas" lol So sorry about your dad. My dad passed away in December if I haven't mentioned it here. My grief is compounded by guilt for not making more of an effort to see him and my mom more often. (they live about 750 miles away). One friend reminded me that its a 2 way street. He didn't make much effort to come see me either. Another friend told me when her dad died she had to deal with was that her dad wasn't the kind of guy that people said "boy, we're sure going to miss him, he was always a lot of fun or a great friend" or whatever nice things people say when someone passes. (her dad was an a**). I guess what I am trying to say is that some people aren't good parents but we can love them just because they were our parents even if they disappointed us. I sounds like you were blessed with a wonderful mother. I'm sorry you couldn't have her longer. Big Hug from me. It sounds like he is not able to forgive HIMSELF for his parenting. It might be too much work to make amends or atone. But...what do I know? except that I understand the hurt of having less of a dad than other people do.

Debbie I'm impressed with your resolve to not buy gloves that aren't exactly what you want. And for enjoying window shopping without adding to belongings you have to take care of. I too would love to hear about your weight loss success and what helped along the way.

NightAngel I'm new here but I feel welcomed and I hope you will too. I think we all have some of the same "clutterbug", "keep it cause you might need it SOMEDAY" habits. It's really been helpful for me to read what works for other people and how others do it even if they don't feel like it. Debbie has a wonder system that I am using daily no matter how short a time I spend at it. Each day chips away at the big picture.

znaoic Kudos for your work on a day when you felt miserable physically. Yes, the small steps give you a feeling of accomplishment and moving in the right direction.
Ann I hope you are lurking out there and doing OK.

Goal:
Clean something: delegated the dishes to DD tonight (does that count?)
Current clutter: will sort junk mail from "real" mail, throw away and straighted kitchen countertop
Old Clutter: will complete some paperwork for my job that has been laying around since OCTOBER for crying out loud.
JuliaWhoIsGoingToDoMyChoresSoICanGoReadMyBook

Today's 1-2-3 Cha cha cha
old clutter-several more items in my "thrift box", which I will deliver tomorrow.
1. a coat given to me (free) that DH LOVES but I don't. I wore it today and caught myself in the mirror. It is not me why keep wearing it.
2. the two statues I pulled of the mantle weeks ago are back in my office HERE. I kept wishing I could get some $$ for them but they are going away. I am to the point I want them out of my life. They were not mine they are not mine.

current clutter-I made the bed this morning. I picked up in the kitchen during the day. I am going to pick up in my office before bed.

clean-I cleaned toilets (2) and cleaned my pup. He and I were at the do it yourself dogwash at 7am for a two hour redo. He looks handsome.


Tami (helping rachel), I'm grateful, too, that you "have other resources that flow to my heart" that help me to know that I am enough." I appreciate you sharing your grief here especially since it seems that there are others here who experience "less than perfect" family situations. Loving and taking care of ourselves is a brave act. Kudos for processing your experience through your Beck program. A beck card is perfect. I hope that your cold is getting better!

onebyone, Yay for a 1-2-3 Cha Cha Cha today! Great decision to clean and put away the toaster you rarely use. Now it will be clean when you need it!

NightAngel, I am learning not to bring the "might be useful to me or someone" items home in the first place and have progressed to enjoying the process of letting go. Great idea coming up with a goal/plan for decluttering and cleaning.

znaoic, I hope you start feeling better very soon. Credit for dealing with some of the paper clutter in your office anyway!

Julia, delegating dishes to DD Occasionally I'll pick a cleaning project then delegate it to my DH...it gets done, right?? Wow! A big accomplishment to get rid of some job paperwork that's been procrastinated since October. PS love your little "dailys" at the end of your post.

Re:weightloss/maintenance
I'm humbled that you ask but there is nothing extraordinary to tell. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I "knew" there was not a magic pill it was about getting healthy and staying that way. I changed my eating and started regular exercise. 3FC is my lifeline. I post somewhere here everyday. I've got lots of family issues and I intend to persist until I lose the rest. I started decluttering when I started my weighloss. I wanted to live differently in other ways...not just with weightloss. The decluttering has made such a difference in my life and I'm grateful you're all here!

OK, now to the GLOVES.
I cried today when I found out another water aerobics gal had seen I left my gloves at the pool last week and just left them on the bench. Duh. She could have turned them in (she knew they were mine) or put them in her locker. Anyway, now someone else is enjoying them.
Part of me cried because I "didn't take care of them" and the other part because someone else wasn't very thoughtful. I resumed my glove search and found a pair that were perfect except they were $50. I didn't buy them. They were too expensive.
I went home and ate some junk (and stopped) and took an extended nap.
I got up about 630pm. It was snowing out...I need gloves.
Lightbulb moment:
Why can't I justify buying myself a nice pair of gloves?
I could always justify dragging all kinds of cheap sh*t home from thrift stores. I had no problem wearing other people's clothes. I did it for years.
Do I think I don't deserve a few nice things I really like/want/need but think it's ok to haul home other peoples' discards....
I put on my hat and put the pup in the car. We went down and bought the gloves. They have a special tip on the finger so I can use my new iphone while I'm wearing them. I do deserve something nice, especially when I've lost a pair I have taken care of for years.
Reality:
I can take better care of these gloves. I can draw off my new organizational skills and figure a way to not "lose" these ones.
So here's the picture. I have put a special clip on my keychain to hook my gloves to when I'm at the pool.
Credit.

Sending hugs out to my cyber buddies recovering from a bad case of the dreaded "clutter bug". I can't chat or reply this morning as my daughter's car battery is dead. Her car is blocking my car and we both need to be at work/school. I will be on later. Have a good day and pray I know positive from negative!

Hi declutterers!

This morning I felt like I might be coming down with something. While I DO recognize the concept of "taking care of oneself" I could also recognize that my 1-2-3 was not going to affect my health situation one way or the other. My progress forward continues as I every day.

Today's 1-2-3

old clutter-addressed an envelope with a check that needs mailing. I "looked" in my office closet and acknowledged that I was willing to put several items in thrift...reorganize another few, recycle several empty boxes.
END RESULT-More space. We are a world filled with cardboard boxes everywhere. If I need one it will be simple to find one. Today I don't need to use precious space to store empty boxes. credit

current clutter-picked up clutter in my office and made the bed.

clean-wiped down my kitchen stove, vent and wall behind.... Not some ultra perfect scrub down but enough to stand back and notice a difference.

Hi Ladies,

You are all so inspiring! I've been following this thread for a few weeks and have started doing some dancing of my own I've also been reading the FL site/book - and it has also been super helpful. Lexxiss: earlier in this thread you mentioned you have a system for dealing with paper clutter - this is my nemesis and I love to hear more about your system.